Ilvermorny: Extended Potterverse

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Are you tired of going through another year at Hogwarts starting the same way as 100 other fanfics? Are you tired of following JKR plot word for word with the only change being Sirius Black living well? Are you tired of seeing fourteen-year-old MCs duking it out with Voldemort and Dumbledore simultaneously?

Look no more friend, as I have a book for you about a magical society rooted across the pond from Hogwarts. Based loosely on what we know about American Wizarding World, with added extraordinary world of warlocks, vampires, shamans, exorcists, and magical creatures existing in the shadows.

Taking no-maj existence seriously, inevitable crisis brews a struggle among three separate but intersecting worlds. Written to be both more realistic and extra magical compared to the Harry Potter series, we follow the adventures of half-Italian, half-French 'wizard' Luca as he experiences the heights and lows of life.

Disclaimer: I own not a particle of existence empirical neither virtual.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Kervath

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 1.8/ 5.0
Followers: 84
Views: 35,055

Reviews

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Community Reviews(3)

GhostlinRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
So the premise is really interesting. A magical world not playing in Britain is a refreshing idea. Plot-wise I would rate this as barely above average for this site. And from what I managed to see is a likable Mc and I can see a lot of potential in the story.
The chapter length reminds me more of a mass produced webnovel, somewhere around 1k words if that, which is way too short to properly explain situations.
However, the thing that bothers me the most here is the grammar and word choice. As far as I can see this story has impeccable spelling, but suffers from shit grammar and sometimes wrong word choices that may somewhat sound like the right word, but have totally unrelated meaning. (makes me think that the author is either new to English, or uses some translate Programm to translate from a Chinese document. At least that's what the Grammer feels like to me. Bad Chinese machine translation.) The next thing to critique is the flow, as you sometimes really have to look into a paragraph to see what the heck you want to tell here.
I would suggest either investing in grammarly and having a person with a good English level as a beta reader, or if that is too expensive, have an ai tool like chatgpt or Claude help you improve grammar and flow.
I can't really say anything about side characters here, because I only took a brief look at the beginning and some of the later chapters, to see if the grammar improves later on. It doesn't.
I'm writing this review because I thought it sad that a story with an interesting premise has no reviews at all, and I am confident, that this can become a great story if you go back over it and improve the following: First and foremost, Grammar and Word choice. Second: Flow and information per paragraph. Third: Chapter length. Right now they are too short in my opinion.
GenelvoRoyal Road
★ 0.5
The novel used a lot grammatically correct terms, but odd sounding if just off wording
Examples
Luckily bathroom suffered no damage if 1cm water carpet can be omitted.
exclaimed man in panic, trying to pull away his partner that found herself kneeling with a terrified
Idk maybe the author hascertain ideas about how to describe thing. Personally I couldn't continue reading this novel.
John PayneRoyal Road
★ 0.5
Normally i'd be able to read even the worst stuff, but this? This just fails to hold my attention. It's bad, not 'bad' in the 'Everything is going to die' kind of way, BAD in the 'so boring i can't read' way. It doesn't even feel like a potterverse book. And don't get me started on the frankly horrible writing that looks like it was generated by a senile Ai. If i could give it 0 stars, i would.