Heir

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

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Chapters(22 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(4)

  • A V DalcourtRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    Story: Noir is a new recruit to an assassin’s guild out of some misguided notion of fore filling his promise to the arch-angel Castile. With each successful mission, Noir’s dark powers slowly drive him to the brink of madness. There’s a lot going on in this story, a nice web of inter-connected characters combined with a thematic exploration of right and wrong, with an implied exploration of justice.
    Style: The story is written in 3rd person. I’ve read the original draft, and have seen the massive growth in the writer handling of description, themes, and setting. The thematic elements, as far as I’m concerned has changed the piece from a superficial action pack story pinning for attention, to something that still action pack but thoughtful and worth taking the time to question the motives of the characters (because he’s not going to tell us everything right away).
    Characters: There are several characters that make up the primary cast, but in general we’re following Noir, a naive newly required assassin with powers he can’t easily tap into nor does he understand.  As for the guild members, it was refreshing to see them go from two dimensional bad-guy stereotypes to fully fleshed out people with thoughts and feeling of their own that often conflict with one another.
    This version of the story feels more developed and nuanced than the previous version. You’ve done a great job applying the advice you were given.
  • Arch SageRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    Style :- Classical third person style. When reading a fantasy/litrpg novels, it's so much better reading from the third person point of view. As readers, we are made to experience the feelings and actions of the various characters in a good way. I believe the author's is able to pull this off beautifully.
    Story :- This is a fantasy novel about Noir, an orphan boy from the kingdom of Trinity, who has deeenon the bad side of life. He had been suffering from the consequences of millennia of war which condemned him to a miserable life. The story is well written and planned by the author. Right from the synopsis, the readers can already see the basis of the storyline which is captivating. Once the readers start to read, they'll find it difficult to stop. The author is doing a good work on this aspect.
    Grammar :- High grade. Beautiful use of the grammar. From what I've read so far, there was no noticeable error that could affect the flow of the story. It showed the great effort the author is putting into his work. Highly commendable.
    Character :- The characters are the life of any novel. Everything about the characters,  from the personalities to dialogues, determine the beauty of a novel. The author has created well designed and planned characters that have life to the novel. Although it's still early days, I'm giving kudos to the author for a job well done,
  • Inkwell RabbitRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    I read and reviewed this in April of 2021, and at the time the story had charm and heart, but from a technical standpoint, it was a clunky mess.
    However the author recently contacted me that he rewrote his story and felt that his present writing no longer reflected my review. Always one for encouraging constant improvement in one's writing, I had to check this out.
    Lo and behold, the writing GREATLY improved. The descriptions were beautiful, the dialogue flowed natural, and the action was well done too.
    I'd say my only complaint is how Noir is still refered to as a "boy" by the author despite him being 20 years old, and I'm not a fan of how the author writes Noir's thoughts as if they were dialogue said outloud. Its a bit jarring.
    But over all, this author has improved greatly and if you were turned off by its past iteration, I can proudly say that the story is polished and technically sound.
    There is a quote in the first chapter I'd like to share with you all for I feel like the quote was meant for the author themself
    "Don't worry, Noir. Failure is the foundation of any great swordsman. Successes only make us arrogant, unable to want to learn more things. You are different. You know how to fix your mistakes and you're hungry to keep learning from me. That's the most important thing." - Castiel
    Good job, you deserve the new praise. 4.5/5
  • Ramingo RamosRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 3.5
    The novel is dark and bleak, expected given the tags, which is not exactly my cup of tea. The writing is dark but good and above the average on RR. Characters felt slightly monotone and a bit too exposition prone. The story also doesn't explain much of anything. That leaves you wondering what these things are or how they came to be or work, which, in my case, is frustrating.