Haliel's Adventure

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Ever wished you get transported to a fantasy world so you don't have to do something you hate? Leon Rinker sure did but it didn't turn out as he had thought. After going to sleep, he wakes up in a different world as a baby girl and wasn't long before his, or well her adventure begins._____________________________________________________________________________________________I just kinda wrote this on a whim but my friends says its good and that I should share it, so I decided to do so after finishing Chapter 20, enjoy! Going to release only up to chap 10 for now and if I see good comments, I'll post the rest. Also my 1st time doing something like this so sorry if it's not up to standard... helpful criticism are welcomed and advices too but pls nothing hurtful.PS. sorry for the poorly written story description :P also i won't be changing the 1st 20 chaps that I wrote, but I'll try to do better with the advice given to me for the chapters following it.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2016
Author
TwilightFang

Tags

ACTIONFANTASYADVENTURETRAGEDYGENDER BENDER

Royal Road Stats

Rating
3.8/ 5.0
Followers
402
Views
226,430

Chapters(39 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(6)

  • FatSadDragonRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Great work with the plotline as well as the grammar. Good pacing.
    However, a few areas of improvement is probably too elaborate on the emotional aspect of the character.
    Keep up the great work!
  • funnyguy1223Royal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    The story doesn't do anything amazing but its a great read.
  • overpaladaRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    the story is really interesting  you have a not to much op mc but you can see the seeds for the future and i am excited to see the interaction between a reincarnated mc and the summoned heroes
  • YewenRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    The author wrote this on a whim, yet it's quite enjoyable to read. The Protagonist is quite amusing yet charming in certain areas and she's quite forgiving because of her 'mental age'
    It's not a breath of fresh air. It does not bring anything new to the Fantasy Genre. It does not have the best writing or grammar. What it does correctly is combine the VR with fantasy/ reincarnation in a believable way. The Mc is obviously OP, but we've been shown that other OP exists out with the *Spoiler* Earth Dragon and Shade Fight in Chapter 16 where it takes the combined effort of all 3 OP figures to defeat both (With the help of common soldiers).
    If I had to say a bad thing about anything regarding the story, it would be the deus su ex machina villains. They just appear out of no-where for petty reasons. The Queen is just quite petty for wanting to kill haft bloods and Dolon because he wants to know Haliel's Secret. The villains just feel flat to me. For what reason do they go great lengths to get/kill her? The villains's reasons so far is just quite petty.  The shades just feel EVIL for just the want of being EVIL.
    TLDR
    It's pretty good. The main and supporting characters feel fleshed out. The villains feel bland and flat. The world building is good(Wish for a bit more) and I would recommend this story to any reader that likes a good old fashion RPG story-line.
    Also I will edit this the more the story goes on (Chapter 23 as of posting) if my opinion of the story changes. Good Luck writing author!
  • KandoralRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    As this is only 15 chapters in i am only giving 4 stars (with more chapters this quality it will go up)
    Style: Very good style, the length of the chapters are long enough, the sentences clear. You can easily make out what belongs to whom
    Story: The story progression is surprisingly perfect, not too fast or slow. Up till now i can say it seems to be an interesting story
    Grammar: Almost no mistakes made
    Character: Good descriptions of characters, not too shallow (even if i think some things that make the characters are going against how they suddenly act)
    All in all a must read (this review is based on the 15 chapters released)
  • HellyosRoyal Road
    ★ 0.5
    One of the worst novels I have ever read….the mother is a true slut, and the MC isn’t even angry.