goku and saitama's ability with demonic system in different world

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

hey guys this is my first time writing a novel so idk if i'm good or not oh and i'm not that good at english so if my grammar is wrong you can just correct it ;)

synopsis: what if you become stronger than god and anyone else? would you still want a power that surpasses everyone that no one can beat you?

let's read the story of our protagonist where he died and reborn as a devine being and cultivate faster than anyone else including his creator(god).

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2017
Author
ikkarus

Tags

FANTASYADVENTUREMAGICCOMEDYMARTIAL ARTSMULTIPLE LOVERSROMANCE SUBPLOTSTRONG LEADMALE LEADREINCARNATION

Royal Road Stats

Rating
3.0/ 5.0
Followers
257
Views
125,162

Chapters(20 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(8)

  • TMsFinestRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Personally really enjoy the story, it's something fun and simple and although as stated in previous reviews the grammar is bad, I have decided to do something about it to give enjoyment to people that will leave this story due to its grammar, which are the rewrites made by yours truly.
  • Hyperalex2000Royal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    I'm not a hardcore reader or anything, I'm just here for the story. The author doesn't check spelling and I'm not a grammar person so I don't know the mistakes that well, even though the mistakes here are a little bit obvious *cough,cough*. The grammar stuff doesn't take away from the OP and comical story plot (unless for some reason you are infatuated with online stories being the same style and grammar as the ones that are more professionally made). I might be bias by giving this 5 stars because I write similar stories and like OP stories but give it a try yourself. It's a good story in my opinion. I hope the author of this story can keep making the chapter at a good pace.
  • kaneki_kun21123Royal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    What You Need To Improve Is Your Grammar And Spellings ... Don't Worry I'm Going To Support You Man Do Your Best .. Cheers ! :D
  • DjabloRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    This story is interesting by the fact that he uses the worlds of "One Punch Man" and of "Dragon Ball".
    Main good points:
    - You don't need to use your brain, you can just read and laugh from time to time
    - The MC isn't useless, and naïve, even if his sense of self-preservation is questionable
    - His fiancee, being a tsundere, was a good idea.
    - There are otherworlder people like him ... Good idea! I expect a lot from this!
    Fails:
    - Why is the protagonist not cultivating? He doesn't want to be too strong? Then seal your strength after getting strong!
    Spoiler: Spoiler
     You underestimated a snake, and nearly got killed ... Pretty stupid right?
    - Don't tell me he will become the kind of harem king who will accept every girl that comes after him (with such high charisma even married grandma will come !)
    - The system won't give much besides stats (i mean, unlike the Naruto system, there won't be many skills, so besides seeing how strong he is becoming, there is no use to it). The system is not fully exploited.
    Improvement :
    - Develop the MC, don't make him just a horny OP MC, please.
    That's pretty much it. Do your best !
  • TealRiffRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    Good, interesting, OP, and random.
    This story is going a different and random direction, first of its kind. (It is the first of its kind)
    Grammar is so-so.
    Character is 4 out of 5
    Story is all stars
    The style is... I don't think I need to review that as it's kinda obvious...
    The style, in my mind, I think of it as the spelling, writing, mistakes, and whether everything or most things are correct.
    That is my evaluation of this story.
    Temporary Review.
  • Liamrodhudson331Royal Road
    ★★★ 3.0
    So far, this is the standard reincarnation story with OP MC and stuff I'll get to later. Now don't get me wrong, I love OP MC's, can you imagine how frustrating it's going to be watching a weakling get bullied over and over again? That said, I don't want an so-OP-that-he-can-beat-anything MC.
    In my opinions, an MC like that doesn't suit this novel anyway. You see, the reason why everybody loves One Punch Man is because of the incredible world-building and the emotional depth of the side characters, No! In fact, those side characters are probably the true main characters in One Punch Man, Saitama is pretty much just a walking Deus Ex Machina, that's why there are chapters (Manga) where he doesn't even show up.
    See the problem here? Everyone on this site is still amateur writers, we don't have the skill to write amd focus on so many people at the same time. We also don't have what it takes to show the emotional depth of our characters, and the fact that you wrote this in MC perspective makes it that much harder.
    Next is the time skips. Sure, one or two time skips aren't a big deal, but I'd have liked it if you spent more time developing MC's family instead of going straight to the heroines. Currently, not much is known about them, in fact to me, they are no different than Mob A and Mob B because you didn't develop their personality at all. There's the older brother but he's just a generic Xianxia antagonist, so basically small fry. If you had used the childhood arc to do this, it'd have been perfect, I think you rushed things a bit skipping 11 years.
    Now last but certainly not least is the way you write. Everything I've seen leads me to believe that you either don't check the chapter after you finished writing because you're either too lazy, your English isn't very good so you can't find the mistakes or you are confident about your ability. This could easily be solved. If you couldn't do it, ask readers for a proof-read or ask someone to be your editor, I'm sure many
  • KirlicRoyal Road
    ★ 0.5
    I have no clue why people go to stories like this, there is too many mistakes in grammar and spelling than I can count. The characters have 0 depth. The story is completely wack. I mean out of EVERHUMAN that has ever lived non cared that they met a god? Said god had the power to grant immense wishes but never gave anything to himself? Im not going to say anything about having an OP character because it isnt really a bad thing just most people cant do it correctly you need to have story and depth in order for it to be good. All in all I wish i could gouge my eyes out but then I wont be able to read good stories.
    This is my honest opinon im not trying to be a troll this is just how I feel.
  • SlyMonsterRoyal Road
    ★ 0.5
    Warning: This review may sound exagerated or hate filled but it is the truth, try reading the first 3 chapter and you should understand ...
    A shoping list would most likely be more interesting.
    It's been a very long time since I posted a review but after seeing the other comments I couldn't do nothing.
    This novel is lousy, not just bad, no, truly lousy.
    I am not an english native and I am far from "good" however, the number of mistakes and things poorly written is astronomical.
    Yet, it is far from being the wort thing in this novel.
    First the MC is so OP that the only thing I want to says is:
    "Harry stu vould be jealous ..."
    He is so uninteresting that it is almost a crime. The narration is poor, no description, no immertion, the characters don't even deserve to be called one dimension, it is more like 0.0001 dimension.
    Example: (Spoiler)
    The father calls the MC and introduce him to his fiance, and the MC is like, "why not after all"
    Later the MC ask his fiance why she wants to marry him and she tell him that she saw him once and fell in love and knew that she wanted to marry him... And he is like "ok" .... It was so devoid of feeling that it looked like it was written by a 12 years old max.
    Last point, friend if you are gonna read this, you d better prepare yourself to become insensitive to plothole. You will have to destroy your common sense to ba able to read this.
    To the author: I am sorry but you should read more books before trying to write anything.