Game Dungeon

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A recently deceased man finds himself imprisoned in a prismatic gem, confused and missing pieces of his memory he wishes to play video games, but to his horror, he is stuck in a world of sword and magic.

Hello! I am the writer of Game Dungeon thanks for your feedback! Although my intentions were not to insult the reader I can see how someone would think that way. I have no plans to change it as of now and it's better to put it out there as a warning that I use a lot of words with similar meanings but are used very irregularly. Honestly speaking my English teacher was weird and a lot of words I use are more complicated than they need to be, but again something I was drilled into was not reusing words apart from "I".

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: Eliak

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.6/ 5.0
Followers: 137
Views: 82,473

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(5)

Squall LeonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story so far is excellent, and I can't wait to see where you're going with this. Its biggest weakness so far is the spelling errors popping up, especially in the early chapters and the odd paragraphs in the later. Other than that you have great dialogue and characters with distinct voices. Keep it up!
crazy_dwarfRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
pls go over what you write.
i like where you are going with the story, and that you "show" your characters and their flaws without "telling" them.
this is a good story but you are killing it before it can gain any following.
other then the grammer that is criticized by the other reviews i want to show my own observations of mistakes
mistake 1: not cutting up your large paragraph into smaller chunks.
mistake 2: not checking for common auto correct mistakes such as "too" and "two".
mistake 3:descirbing your dungeon but not giving an easilly understood summary for the design like: "think a math problem but with water"
you might think mistake 3 is not a mistake;
but most people are not artistic, not imaganitive and do not like to put effort to understand and visualize your design.
puting this much detail is amazing but assuming every reader is willing or even capable of visualizing everything is what i think of as a mistake.
besides those things it's a cool dungeon design, with awesome characters that are just waiting for the chance to be amazing.
in conclusion i think this story is like a gem stone that needs polishing.
BurningmanRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
I wasn't planning on making a review since i rarely do one but lets approach this in two ways.
Style is good, there is no useless POV shift, just between his fairy and himself, just one useless POV to show the kinght diying till the chapter i read and this is a good thing since this show that the Author in invested in the dungeon instead of just using the genre to get some fame before making his dungeon another story like suddenly the dungeon can walk around, or the dungeon isn't about making a dungeon but becoming a archmage, etc...
grammar i'll give 3 stars because i can see how he is improving, but he needs to go back and rewrite it not changing but rewrite it in the format he is using now, readin till chapter 26 was hell reading characters talking without anything to tell when they are talking or thinking example:
What!? But am currently being invaded I need to protect Q'ill, how can I get out!
so the What!? was louder or was he currently thinking? this format is horrible because sometimes you need to make the two and without something to tell when the character started talking and when he finished a example:
"Ok, these stairs are good i want this red carpet here." standing at the start of the stairs.
take the " out and this could be a thinking or like i put it someone giving orders where to put the carpet, of course i let the dot there but take it out and put a comma and you can see this could be a thinking, anyway he just need to get better and he is improving i put 3 stars because i can see he is trying.
Now the bad parts.
Story, ok this could be a perfect dungeon story but the whole premise is horrible executed, the whole thing is horrible because all the plotholes or stupid thing or the need for the plot to work this way can be explained with an invisible hand messing or helping the core.
this is horrible because i'll talk about the characters here too since it is both of them that made it horrible.
Ok, the MC is badly written, horrible if i may say, chapte
Thor AegirRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
Warning: I did not go further than the 2nd chapter, but i do not want to read further.
The setting of this novel is a quite standard reincarnation as a dungeon core one. But from the start, the reader is confronted with a stuffy character: the dungeon core interlocuter. Then, a second stuffy character appears: the MC itself A.K.A. the dungeon core.
The author try to use elaborate words with more or less success. Some time it works, some time it does not. The feel of the writing is overly verbose. It lack immersion.
The author try to convein the righteous furry of the dungeon core interlocuter, but it feel more like a idiotic airhead throwing a tantrum. He also tries to give the dungeon core a character with missing memories... but the inner dialog of the dungeon core does not reflect on this partial amnesia.
Overall, the author started this novel without fluffing out its main characters personnalities, and it shows.
MeatyMinkMilkRoyal Road
★ 1.0
English, formatting, and conventions are not at an acceptable state, as is obvious from the summary. Additionally insulting as the author has insinuated that he is using big words that readers may not understand, and suggest that readers look them up. If he had done that, he wouldn't have mistakened "alluded" for having similar meaning to "dodge".
We suggest that the author focus on fixing English mistakes, and using consistent and normal conventions, like quotation marks for speech and italics for thoughts. There are no bonus marks for using "creative" (read: confusing) conventions.