Fractured Empire: Helheim

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2024

Author

Zachary Dugas

• XV
  Feb 28, 2024
• XIV
  Feb 27, 2024
• XIII
  Feb 26, 2024
• XII
  Feb 23, 2024
• XI
  Feb 22, 2024
• X
  Feb 21, 2024
• IX
  Feb 20, 2024
• VIII
  Feb 19, 2024
• VII
  Feb 16, 2024
• VI
  Feb 15, 2024
• V
  Feb 14, 2024
• IV
  Feb 13, 2024
• III
  Feb 13, 2024
• II
  Feb 9, 2024
• I
  Feb 8, 2024
• Prologue
  Feb 8, 2024

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• ArthicernRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Going into this story I had the idea that this was going Song of Helheim was going to be something along the lines of Dishonored meets Count of Monte Cristo. After reading this story I feel that, that description works as an accurate opening, but doesn't quite describe the story in its entirety.
  From the beginning the world is set in a gaslamp fantasy of the victorian era, filled with magic, guns, and warfare. But all of this is merely the backdrop to Adrian's story.
  Adrian himself, is a military mage who has recently returned home after escaping from a workcamp with his love Isi. From the very beginning he is intent on gaining his vengeance on those who have wronged him, and yet unlike a number of protagonists he doesn't allow this vengeance to consume him. Instead he tries to create a better life for Isi, without forgetting what was done to them.
  This leads into him taking command of a new outpost as a lieutent colonel in the Helheim military. From there he and his unit defend their post from invading forces, not in some grand field spanning epic, or overtly tactical gambits, but instead through a series of short but thoughtout skirmishes, that slowly escalate into realistic military operations and battles.
  Throughout all of these events we see Adrian trying to reconcile who he is with who he was, and the choices he makes.
  In the end, Song of Helheim is the story of a damaged soldier trying to hold himself together, while still fulfilling his duties to his beloved, his country, and the men who serve under him. And in turn is worth reading for anyone who seeks a tale of duty, vengeance, healing, and war.
• ER MixonRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I'll start off by saying sorry that this took so long.  This story swept me up when I started reading it and though I planned to post my review right away I kept wanting to get farther in. Ultimately life distracts but that it drew me in so much when I had the time is a testament to the author.
  What I really love about this book is the strong and well-developed characters. The first arc is really fun to read and I love the way the author slowly reveals the relationship dynamics. The action is good, the magical system is solid and the world is well-developed. For the most part I like the way that the chapter pacing and how the suspense builds.
  Unfortunately as the war arc picks up and gets heavier into the action somehow the suspense drops off a bit and the storytelling becomes less character centric and somewhat more mechanical. The big battles and strategic movements at the point in the book where I left off were really the weakest parts for me but I'm hoping that the larger action and plot points fall into a more natural balance with what the writer was doing in the earlier chapters when I read on.
  The only other thing that didn't quite engage me were the long and explicit erotic sex scenes. I understand that there is an audience for this kind of thing but for me it just seems like filler. Big chunks of chapter which you can skip over without missing anything.
  Overall I would say that this book is a good read and if you like Mercedes Lackey, J.V. Jones or Robin Hobb I expect you will like this too.
• J P KoenigRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The Good
  The Song of Helheim: Reparations is an excellent read that draws you in from the first few paragraphs.  The story of Adrian and Isi is engaging, the wrongs against them egregious, and the narrative is strong.  The dialogue flows smoothly and doesn't feel stilted at all.
  I'm impressed by how much depth the characters have, and how the author has been able to convey a feeling of history and complex emotions so quickly.  I can empathize with all of the characters, and none of them are your typical one-dimensional stereotypical characters.  It is certainly many levels above the standard Royal Road offering.
  The Bad
  There is a bit of info dumping early in the story, and the chapter that describes Helheim and its history needs some serious revision.  It was hard to follow and didn't flow smoothly.  Also, one of the first combat scenes that described muskets being loaded and reloaded needs another pass for clarity.  The author found his groove with the battle scenes quickly, however.  Lastly, there are some scattered errors, including some mispellings, grammatical errors and missing words.  They are infrequent enough that they were jarring when I came across them.
  The Takeaway
  I strongly recommend reading this story.  The pacing is great, the story is entertaining and the characters are believable.  It's also nice to see a fantasy story not set in medieval PseudoEngland.
• Jordan StufflebeamRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This is a very enjoyable read. I will say that right off the bat. Its brutal, dark, but real. Like other reviews they are correct when they give extreme depth with this story. The author makes it quite easy to dive in and visualize the world in his adept way of describing the visualization. The characters alone are deep and dynamic and it feels as though they are real.
  The grammar ultimately is clean, has errors like any other but overall is great compared. Heck, much better than mine!
  You can tell this author has a passion for story telling and has put their time and effort into this story, as such, you diving into this will be a great read. Zach gave strong context, strong beginning and so far it has carried all the way through. I am only on chapter 15 but man! I cant wait to keep going.
  One of the better gems I've discovered!
• georgebakerson123Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  The tldr of this review is that it is a wonderful premise. It is not rushed so far, nor is it the type of novel that should have fast plot progression. The characters are all great; no one feels cardboard and one-dimensional. Quite a few grammatical errors though but that can be corrected over time. Overall: would recommend reading this. 4.5/5
  Now, onto the more in-depth analysis.
  Style: 4/5
  It is very well done. Not much to say but that it is coherent, direct and leaves no room for confusion of understanding. Objectively, it might be right to say that there is no fault with the style.
  However, my personal bias has rated it lower because of:
  a) there's a bit too much info dumping. Though it might be necessary and done right, I feel like it's throwing a bit too much at you that you're meant to absorb and remember.
  b) Though not incorrect, the formatting is a bit block-like when it comes to speech. Might be wise to work on that a little (with a few more paragraphs for example).
  Story: 4.5/5
  I don't want to spoil it for future readers as I want them to experience the story, but I will say it's excellent. No typical harem, op mc, everyone flocking to the mc's side and all the other cliche trope. No, this is different.
  The reason I docked a half star is that there are a few iffy moments that could raise red flags in the future. However, the way you've done it so far has me trusting your judgment. The plot progression itself is somewhat slow, but going any faster would probably ruin it, so I advice keep your current pace. Continue doing what you're doing and this can easily turn into 5 stars.
  Grammar: 3.5/5
  On the whole, it's decent. Some spelling, punctuation and other grammatical errors but they don't take away from the reading experience too much.
  Characters: 5/5
  As I said in my tldr, no one feels cardboard. Everyone has their characters shaped and defined to a tee.
  The MC is shown to have his strengths and weaknesses and his lover is acting as a great support to him,
• BladedPenRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Abridged: With the unique world, good characters, straightforward plot with great potential for twists due to the political nature of the main character, sets up a compelling story. If you like mid-colonial empires mixed with magic in a revenge narrative, then read this book!
  4.5/5
  Style: This would be his strongest feature of the story. A mixture of Germanic Roman Empire mixed with mid-colonial era mixed with magic and sorcery. The author mixed a unique blend of different categories to create something enjoyable to read.
  5/5
  Story: The author has taken a narrative trick to good effect: starting a story halfway through. We meet Adrian and Isi at the end of a story arc we only see passing glimpses of; an arc the characters would rather forget. We are also given a strong motive; Adrian's desire for revenge and justice. This creates a compelling story that hits its full stride by chapter 10.
  4.5/5
  Grammar: There were some typos, but I will not judge harshly as it wasn't enough to truly break me out of the story. A quick edit will iron it out.
  4/5
  Character Score: Adrian and Isi are compelling characters with broken pasts. The fact Isi is hesitant to speak the main language, even around Adrian, is a compelling mystery; as are her abilities to face melt someone. Adrian himself has a clear motive and no BS attitude, forged from years of slavery. He has clear cut motives, interests, and flaws. I desire to read more of Adrian and Isi's adventures.
  4.5/5
  Go read it!
• ChryissRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  This is probably my highest rated review on RR so far...
  Style:
  In chapter 3, the paragraph spaces were oddly very large, so it made for some slightly uncomfortable/not fluid reading. Besides this though, I really liked your style of writing. It's right up my alley with the level of description and varied language. The dialogue too doesn't feel excessive or unncessary to the plot as sometimes I find dialogue to be.
  The only suggestion I have would be for a few parts where several long sentences follow each other in a row. I myself tend to have long sentences and must conciously revise them in order for them vary in length---this makes reading less drawn out or too brief (if the sentences are too short). For example, in the very first chapter in the first paragraph, the first sentence is a run on (that first comma is a comma splice). While I personally don't mind the long sentences, I know that they can harder to digest for many.
  Grammar:
  There’re some mistakes; they look like typos for the most part. For example, saying “he” instead of “her,” “protogy” instead of “prodigy,” “greeving” instead of “grieving,” “resess” instead of “recess,”  and cotton “trues”—I have no idea what “trues” was supposed to be. Most of these examples are from chapter V. But overall, I suggest some proofreading of the whole story since there are a few too many misspells. There’s not that many tense mistakes, at least, noticeable ones. The one that really stood out to me was in chapter IX with “Began!” instead of “Begin!”
  I did see in a comment that Grammarly was used. I haven't used it myself as I self-proofread my work. So if Grammarly isn't working so well anymore, I suggest self-proofreading after you haven't read a chapter for a while. I tend to pick up more mistakes that way.
  Story:
  Good pace and believable action. I totally got the war feel and the strategems involved in combat. I also saw the struggles in leading others and gaining their respect as well as the struggles with being the
• Noah ElowynRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  There's something very pleasant about Zachary's writing. It doesn't beat around the bush, but goes straight to the point, presenting a very enticing world with a very peculiar magic system, which in my opinion can lead to some amazing things.
• TeaWrexRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Zach wastes no time in the very first Chapter telling us exactly what this story will be about and who Adrian is as a man.   The world-building is both subtle and expansive, where I never felt too lost by the narrative with the in universe terms of nations and other such terminology, it's all given enough detail to engross the reader.
  It's refreshing to see more fantasy fiction branch off from the standard sword and sorcery model, and the world presented is one in a state of change that I feel echos sentiments myself and other authors/readers have that there is greater potential past the classic age of Spell and Steel.
  A great start, and an easy read.  I will say there are some personal issues I have with some of Isi's characterization but it's not enough to detract from such a strong narrative
• MejiroRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  A fairly arresting, relatively dark fantasy of gritty war and the relationships of some of the people involved.  While some of the spelling, grammar and punctuation could do with another round of edits and checking, the core of the story is tight, with some interestingly detailed magic and quite a few neat individual tweaks and varients to a consistent underlying system.  The relationships are quite well done, with a variety of emotional connections between various people, all set amidst a vaguely Napoleonic (flintlocks and muskets) war, with new technology making it's presence felt.