Fox girl in another world

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Whoever said god is good i have a few words for them. I have multiple gods to disprove that statement and almost all of them i have never seen before. Oh curse me with unluckiness forever. I think i'll go burn your church. Oh you want to hire me? I demand my own price. The gods are going to put me on trial? I suppose thats a good reason to flip them off one by one. Living in the grey, stealing from gods, killing monsters. Join the adventures of a young girl who dares to condemn gods, dances with assassins, and topples thrones +15 Recommended for sexual content, Violence and profanity. This is my first fiction guys so bear with me.

Series On Hiatus

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2016
Author: Twilight Pages

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.5/ 5.0
Followers: 543
Views: 495,639

Chapters(59 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

nobody987Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
since their was a lot of people complaning about stubid grammer which i could care less about since i have that problem and guess what this is my only language. So for this story forget the grammer and just go for it but not so bad as it makes no since what so ever. so i was reading this at school and got really it since it turned it such a good story i hope you etheir contine it or make a new version of it it's just even if you don't make it on time take your time wrighting it since other books i have read had great starts but are slowly losing it's prime to me but back to the point this was good so much i missed out on the grammer prublems for the people that said that stop pay to much attention to the text and just read the story
The Shadows MistressRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I'm not an English Professor or professional editor, so I have no say on grammar and really could care less. If the story is interesting , the main character fun then that's all I need. So with that I am enjoying this story and looking forward to more.
HuckvrniRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Actually I put 4 stars because I am not a native speaker but the story does need some serious repairs.
I mainly write in hope the auther will read this and know there are alot of people backing him from the shadows.
In fact I just created an account to say that because I felt you don't get the credit you deserve.
I also was afraid you died in a car crash or something but I checked in the forums and you were active recently.
Thumbs up!
GoGetRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I like the story, I like what this can become, but I can't keep reading it. What Rota said is just what I'm thinking.
Keep at it, Rome wasn't built in a day, yeah?
magical heartRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
The story was kind of fun until the MC just straight up and sleeps two people basically were fully sentient beings beforehand had no desire to be enslaved and really did nothing to deserve it. After that, it just turned me off as even if the author says it was by accident they didn't have to put their kind of had their characters not be enslaved just kind of ruined the MC after that they didn't seem like the good guys or even a likable guy after that is who light someone intentionally keeps slaves just not okay.
RotaRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
Sorry, but by that point, things were getting messy, confusing and slightly irritating to read.
Style:
The formatting and writing style is messy and frequently changing, no edits are being done to implement the "changes", you just say it will change and expect us to do the mental juggling figuring out what is what. Maybe you have finally looked in the forums and found the very open and obvious guide telling everyone how to set-up the blue boxes; I would not know because you will not edit those changes into your earlier chapters.
Story:
No idea where you plan to go with this story, you have put a bunch of ideas and content together and tried to write a script, but it gives absolutely no hint as to where this story will go, how long it will take and whether or not it is something we will want to read.
Grammar:
As far as grammar goes, you fall into the average standard of RRL writers, first-timers or otherwise. You have many improvements to make, but at the same time, it is, for the most part, readable and understandable enough to move along with the story. Grammar can easily be fixed by using a better spellchecker/grammar software or getting somebody who is more literate to check the writing before an initial post. There are times where you have written the phonetic sound of a word "interfear" instead of the actual spelling "interfere", which only takes opening a dictionary or google to check. Alternatively, times where the word is written twice in a row (a kind of mental stutter I sometimes face when I type faster than I think, easily noticed and cleaned out)
Character:
Ultimately, I cannot feel much depth to the introduced cast. There are large chunks of "sister this, sister that" without any real interactions to show this relationship, instead telling us about it after that fact. The MC seems a bit inconsistent from chapter to chapter, making different actions or decisions without a clear trigger as to why they suddenly act off-script. The most transparent issue of
Chopsuey332Royal Road
★★ 2.0
Ok this is really grinding my gears. I can only take so much and this problem does not seem to improve at all in the later chapters.
The problem? THE DIALOGUE
you do not need to express what the character is saying every time and who says what!
FOR EXAMPLE
chapter 7
"...." she said
"..." I demanded
"..." she said solemly
"..." I said
"..." she asked
"..." I replied
You do not need to say who says what every time they speak. People are smart enough and are designed to detect when it is a conversation between two people they understand. Stating who says what every time does not make you sound professional it shows your inexperience blatantly. The above could be modified easily to improve a readers experience.
"..."she said
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
If you did this people will still understand and makes the conversation move a lot smoother.
AND WHAT REALLLLLY GRINDES MAH GEARS IS THIS SHIT:
I think this warm lady is my mother, i thought to myself.
WHY did you put I thought to myself when this story is already in first person heck anything is better then this shit!
I think this warm lady is my mother Italicize to express this kind of thought is very good
Why do i have a tail and ears, i thought then it hit me. we already know whats hes thinking, this whole story is what he is thinking.
What the Hell!, i was screaming in my head. Just "what the hell!!!" would have been great and again we are already in his head.
I only made it up till chapter 7 till it got to me. I tried to see if future chapter improved but NOPE
“Off the platform!” i scream. we know hes screaming that is what the ! is for.
...I turn back for a moment and look at the skeleton.
“Thank you.” I say to him. we know that he is referring to the skeleton so no need to put "i say to him"
*Sigh*
BoredBeyondBeliefRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
The novel was good, starting off as a man became cute fox girl bla bla bla but then they go off kill some weird beast guy and become a legend then boom fighting demons,dragons and becoming some 3 tailed fox.
I mean this novel seemed to have a plot at first, but then went into chaos.
frostpawRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
was ok till a random and just anoying plot shift of a all powerfull badguy BS or some such I gave it another chapter. did not improve. so dumped the book, not bothering to finish.
RellistigerpawRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
The story randomly jumps from subject to subject so fast that most of the time your still trying to understand the setting before being thrown someplace else with a new "action" sequince. All the wile none of the story is tied together truly until the end where it is "due ex mancina." the whole thing seems like the writor took a weekend and slaped a few chapters of some short story ideas together called it a book and dropped it just as quick when it did not "work."