Focused Fire (ATLA Fanfic)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

The rise of a young Fire Nation commander Xing, a survivor of a village attack-turned prodigious firebending colonel of the Fire Nation's 11th Regiment.

Taking place not long before canon, Xing seeks to keep his adoptive family in the Fire Nation military as safe, sound, and sharp as he can, even as the pieces of the puzzle that is the main story start to fall in place around him, the biggest of which is Princess Azula joining the 11th in their military duties around the Earth Kingdom.

The story is being rewritten with cleanups, some new content and likely changes towards the end.Link here

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2023
Author: arg3nt

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.6/ 5.0
Followers: 1,312
Views: 1,624,112

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

MultiRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This stoy is definitely one to try, however as a heads up it is a realistic and brutal take on how warfare with benders between feudal countries would work along with the mc using modern special forces and military tactics. it has an interesting perspective of showing all points of view but the main character. We see the story from the view of those around him giving a really fun twist on how his for knowledge is used and shown. As for how this reads as an Avatar fanfic the author does an excellent job of staying true to the source material while also adapting them in a believable way,the OC's are also so well done it can be surprising to find out they were not part of the original show.
Kid WickedRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The best shit I've ever read. The kinda self insert and subtle hinds of them being or having some memories/knowledge of the modern world was done quite tastefully. Not just some bullshit of them remembering something from their past or them having perfect memory. All in all. One of the best fanfics I've read in a long time. 12/10 if I could.
WombatoRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I love how this story is told from the perspective of others rather than the MC. As the reader you pick up his references and easily piece together that he isn't native to the ATLA world, clearly showing he has knowledge of cannon but the characters in the world he appears to be a spirit touched soul.
The romance is done well imo and I enjoyed how well it was done, wasnt a lemon, the love making and romance being more implied outside of some kissing. It was refreshing to see how Azula gets to experience such a depth of character development and growth. While still being the "Azula" from atla cannon in the beginning but watching her changes in personality and character because of Xing and the 11th was rewarding. Getting to see Sokka finally get the romance he deserves and Katarra/Aang getting more precious time together is a wholesome addition.
The pacing in the story was well done and the time skips never felt out of place. You never had a random training or academy arc where the MC falls off the face of the earth and comes back a insanely OP because of some gamer system. While the MC is powerful he is never portrayed as an almighty OP God. Its a refreshing take on the genre to not see an MC getting glazed by every character in the book as some infallible pillar.
The only thing that saddens me about this story is that it isn't getting all the attention it deserves. I know ATLA at this point is almost long forgotten by some and unheard of by others considering the show ended 15 years ago. I hope with the upcoming Netflix adaptation it'll get some more curious eyes here.
Lastly, all I hope is to see one day are more chapters of Xing with all of his glorious dad energy.
ALazyPandaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
TLDR: Good, entertaining read. Well written, with interesting protagonists, but weak antagonists and a lot of gore.
To start, the story is well written. In terms of writing style and rarity of errors, I would be happy to purchase it as is. Plot points are set up and paid off well, and the protagonist characters (both original and from ATLA) are generally well rounded and interesting (or at the very least purposeful). I find the characters from ATLA in particular are integrated very well actually, and are all subtly different to reflect the darker tone of this story, or simply to be more complex than they're presented in a children's show.
I do have a few points a reader should consider. First is the philosophy. An argument that ends justify any means is strongly represented, leading the protagonist Xing to frequently commit atrocities. As fair credit to the author, this is noted and increasingly addressed in later chapters, but it creates dissonance between Xing's good goals and his actions. It also makes for very uncomfortable reading if you dislike gore. Xing would make an excellent, Lawful-Evil villain in a story that focused on Aang, but focusing on Xing as a protagonist instead is far more interesting.
With that said, the story so far suffers from a dearth of strong antagonists to oppose Xing. This does seem to be changing, as a proper threat has shown itself in the more recent chapters, but for the first hundred Xing's opponents are either incompetent, one-note, or immediately switch to his side. There hasn't yet truly been a long-term antagonist that challenges him, either directly in terms of power/cunning, or at a character level in terms of his ideology. While heroes may critique him for his brutality, they have yet to actually oppose him and test their beliefs against one another.
Overall, I'd definitely say it's a good, entertaining read even if you don't like fanfiction, and I look forward to seeing where it goes next.
GullinburstiRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
After reading 80 chapters over the course of 2 days, I can safely say thar Focused Fire is a top tier fic. The pacing is solid, and the story is well written. Most importantly, while characters from the universe change as they experience the intervention of the MC in canon events, they still feel like they are themselves. I can only say well done, and I hope many others give this fic a read.
IskarriotRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Ok, it's clearly not for me. I thought first chapters were from different POVs just as an introduction to the story before it switches and stays with the MC's POV. But now it seems that the whole story is written from side characters' POV.
It wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for the "distinct" writing that occurs every time side characters react to the MC's actions. Here is an example:
[“As you wish, princess,” he answered wearily, and then he straightened, leaning back a little with his arms lowered.
Ren’s jaw dropped, and she heard Kai gasp. Xing’s using that against the princess? “Is…is he trying to murder her?” Rufen whispered aloud.]
theanimemailRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
OG review (27/12/2023 04:48 AM):
I couldn't really get past the early chapters; my comment from chapter 1 still seems to apply even past chapter 9 (I skimmed a bit):
Genuine Question: will there be more character descriptions down the line? For example, I have absolutely no idea what any of these characters look like or what's in the throne room or even where the people/nobles/solders are located within the chamber. Does this lack of general descriptiveness improve later down the line? note: I haven't watched the original source material since I was like 8, so I have no Idea if we should already know what these characters are supposed to look like
____
Edit: I'm adding a discussion I had with someone on one of the chapters since I feel this is a common sentiment within the fanfic community and that the convo generally adds to my original review. Oh, and my first review is at the end.
Conversation:
- theanimemail: "Ya... I'm out. I still have no idea what any of the characters look like."
- XXXX (Note: keeping them anonymous): "To be honest it for the best cause it's clear to me that you came into a FANFIC expecting the author to hold your hand when you should already know about Avatar the Last Airbender."
- theanimemail: "I totally missed this comment, but I've read quite a few fanfics, and this has been one of probably around 3-5 I've seen with this issue (with this being the worst of the bunch concerning character descriptions). In general, especially when posting to places like RR and outside less 'professional' settings (e.g., FF, spacebattles, etc.), I'd say it should be expected that the author should at least include a general overview of characters; from what I remember, this felt very similar to reading a book where most things aside from the descriptive element were competently written, which resulted in me feeling like I was picturing a bunch of featureless people shaped voids interacting with the environment, which is simply a bad writing practice and sh
trasen56Royal Road
★★ 2.0
Within 4 chapters the MC beats Azula in a firebending duel. He's a military genius whom took on a force orders kf magnitude greater than his without a single casuality. Based off other review this sort of stuff only continues or get's worse.
Genuinely confused how something like this is so highly rated when it pays so little respect to the source material and it's characters.
CasualPotatoRoyal Road
★ 0.5
If you've read or watched any isekai, the MC is effectively the exact same as all of those other MCs. Bland, tragic backstory, women fall over him for no reason but how cool and aloof he is, ridiculously powerful for no apparent reason, uses inane pop culture references, uses "modern" techniques and technology to ridiculously potent effects, somehow always underestimated, you get the jist.
It's an incredible shame because the story does a good job portraying the horrors and brutality of war from the side of the Fire Nation, it just does so through such a milquetoast lens that it somehow ends up boring despite the great expansions on the world of Avatar.
Actually, we never even see specifically through that lens--the author has been careful to give pretty much 0 pov chapters from the MC, which I consider a good point as it's probably the most boring pov the story could offer. The side characters are much more interesting. It's an interesting story technique, but I'd much rather have a good MC and have more of the story from their perspective. That at least earns some style points.
Grammar is decent, some tense switching but nothing too awkward.
Unfortunately, the crappy MC just brings the whole thing down so incredibly far, though that may be my personal bias speaking due to the oversaturated nature of Japanese light novels, and especially the isekai genre. If you're a fan of this kind of MC, then consider this a 5 star raving review cause everything else in this story is decent.
ZabzablordRoyal Road
★ 0.5
Eh. I read that twice.
I remember having a mildly enjoyable ride the first time. I gave up on chapter 80 on the second pass. Crazy how time filters memories to keep only the best.
The MC is in fact an uninspired, cringe-worthy, insufferable Mary-Sue. Everything goes so much his way that you end up seriously rooting for something to go astray.
If the author could stop s*****g the p***s of his self-insert for half a second, there would be an actually okay story begind all this, don't get me wrong. There's a good plot behind the disastrous facade. Really.
But it's all burdened beyond repair by a character who not merely gets his way, but does it in a infuriating easy and boring fashion.