Fire Breather

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

What would you do if a chance to step into another world presented itself? A world filled with legendary creatures, mysterious powers, and vicious monsters. Would youtrulygo to the other side?

Markus Winters took that step, and now embarks on a grand adventure to find his way back home. He will fight incredible creatures, meet extraordinary women, and see wondrous sights in his travels. But... the new world is treacherous in many ways.

Every wound, every battle, and every death tears away at his soul. His actions and their consequences will eventually earn Markus the nickname "Fire Breather" across the land.His journeycannot change the new world, but it will surely change him.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2019
Author: D.A. Davis

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 121
Views: 51,817

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

WackaBearRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
-up to chapter 25
Fire Breather has one of the strongest starts for a isekai/fantasy I've read. The world building is great and detailed. You feel like its a journey and the world getting built is one of the most unique. The characters are great and you really get to like them (I'm team Eclair)
The writing style reminds me of The Iron Teeth or Grand Design. It flows well and has lots of details. The author also has a kind of interactive style. For example the main character name isn't used until he actually says it in chapter 2. Other examples like that happen which is cool.
The only criticism I have is minor grammar stuff like past/present tenses sometimes being wrong. Sometimes how a sentence is worded can be strange. I think these are minor issues.
I highly recommend if you like fantasy or want a twist in how fantasy worlds are done.
HickupsRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
for the story it wears of pretty fast. And what's left is a skeletal frame, with cardboard characters bumbling through a largely non-descript lowtech/mid-fantasy world. The plot is rather predictable and nothing that wasn't seen before. Overall, it's passable, but unfullfilling.
That said, the story got potential, and given time to improve his skills the author might pull of a really decent developement.
For the author:
Develop your techniques and style, it doesn't have to be poetry but your writing is getting too bland to keep the story entertaining.
Give life to your characters, they are lacking any defining traits or mannerisms as it is (Not accounting Markus' half-assed paranoia). Add more observations on how they speak or do things and give them motives to their actions. Also, don't keep dialogues short. They are a prime ressource for info and can add a lot of humour.
Don't point out obvious clues or overexplain things readers can deduce or look up themselves.
Make a decision on your narrating style. You're either in-person and limited or third person and omniscient/limited. Unstructured switches break immersion and story flow. Not saying you can't, just don't do it while in personal pov or make logical breaks so the reader can switch gears.
Hope this feedback is of help and you keep it up. Writing is constant improvement but take care to also enjoy yourself.
Cheers