Feminist reincarnated in a fantasy world

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2016

Author

lonelyjesse

• Prologue : The day I died.
  Feb 6, 2016

Reviews

Community Reviews(4)

• BrandRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  So, why 5 stars? Because this is new shit here on RoyalRoadl. This is not your typical 'average' mc that gets transported. No, this is far from the norm.
  I give you the five stars as a motivation, to keep you writing. What we need on this site is a breath of new air, and this is a good start.
  Keep it up!
• mcallisrRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The narrative story explains a reincarnation of a strong minded lady in what appears to be a women are protected society that predominated Europe since late roman times.
  Chapter length is average that also give lots of fore-showing about possible future conflicts amongst the MC close relation.  Early childhood read like a diary or journal but seem to work well to quickly advance the story. The prologue could use a bit of line editing to improve readability.
  My initial rating would have been 4* for story, 3.5 * for style, 4 * for grammar and 5 * for character.  I bumped my score up because this story in being unfairly bashed before its even started simply because is contains the word "Feminist" instead of the tag gender-bender.  I could not find any major differences to from this story to other similar stories that where rated much higher.
• jsghinesRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  So, I obviously came here, like most other's, for the title. It is definitely an attention grabber. In reading the synopsis, you can see the biggest issue with the story, which is the sentences don't properly know how to connect with each other. A lot of the times, thought's come from no where. It is to help explain things, granted. Another issue with the writing is the grammar errors and the misspellings, along with formatting. It makes the story a pain to read, and I would recommend you spend more time breaking up the blocks. I would even be willing to help you out on that front, in say, google docs.
  The next issue, the story itself. I do respect the fact that it is original, but it also seems like a shallow concept. As long as you aren't tunnel visioned by the concept, it could turn out great. But my absolute biggest problem with the story, however, is the characters. Even early on, you seem to be prone to disrespecting male characters. Not all of them are bad, granted, but it can be a slippery slope. As long as you don't just wantonly throw men together as a whole, and you work the changing the status quo correctly, you could have a truly great story. Even though I said the concept could lead to tunnel vision, it still is a great concept, that I would love to see play out properly.
  In the end, I do see a lot of potential for a lot of good and bad. As it is, the story for me is just about average, with the potential to hugely pick up once the author picks up on writing nuances as the story continues. I wish the author the best of luck in their endeavors, and I hope my criticism has helped in some way.
• RudeusRoyal Road

  ★★ 1.5

  Before I start, shame on you- the people who have been voting to "Equalize" the negative votes. Although I don't agree with the kill on sight mentality, this story has many flaws and it's not deserving of 3 stars(average),  and NO, because Mc is "unusual" doesn't warrant a 5-star.
  Story: Ugh, where to begin. Author, I can't help but feel that you're using this story as a release, rather than trying to actually make a story. Evidence of this being from the first chapter- where coincidentally, on TV she catches some sexist things being said, destroys her TV,  then coincidentally- on the very same day, get's attacked by a man, who, of course has hatred for her(I presume because she's a woman and men are all sexist in this universe), and wants to rape her. Next, you rushed too many things, I'll elaborate on this point in the character's section, but there's a huge lack of worldbuilding here and more info dumping and even worse you're only dumping the stuff YOU want us to know, we cannot draw our own conclusions or use our own imagination at all, we're just told explicitly that it's a patriarchal society and how they oppress women. We don't learn anything regarding politics, etiquette, WHY society is sexist,  if their is slavery, technology, etc. I swear on my left nut, that if I didn't read 100+ other copy/paste reincarnation stories, I'd be absolutely clueless as to what is happening in your story and why- which is a problem.
  Style: Not much to say, it's not that bad.
  Grammar: Well, there's some of the classical grammatical errors writers make, but please try to avoid the do/does confusion, "How do magic work?"
  Character: Ok, I have huge problem with this. Characters are too xianxia, by that, I mean that they all have one-tracked mentality and are just blatant assholes. Not only that, you work extremely hard to make sure that we recognize that all of the people who done goofed so far are men, not too much of a problem, honestly. But, even the mother and the siblings! T