Fate’s Pawn

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2024

Author

RickHFox

• 38
  Mar 15, 2024
• 37
  Mar 13, 2024
• 36
  Mar 11, 2024
• 35
  Mar 8, 2024
• 34
  Mar 6, 2024
• 33
  Mar 4, 2024
• 32
  Feb 26, 2024
• 31
  Feb 23, 2024
• 30
  Feb 21, 2024
• 29
  Feb 19, 2024
• 28
  Feb 16, 2024
• 27
  Feb 14, 2024
• 26
  Feb 12, 2024
• 25
  Feb 9, 2024
• 24
  Feb 7, 2024
• 23
  Feb 5, 2024
• 22
  Feb 2, 2024
• 21
  Jan 31, 2024
• 20
  Jan 29, 2024
• 19
  Jan 26, 2024

Reviews

Community Reviews(8)

• Brian BloseRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Style
  If I had to categorize Fate's Pawn, I would say it is part quest story, part coming of age story, and part magic academy. If any of those labels appeal to you, then this is something you should read.
  Story
  I'm hooked. The overarching plot is that Raziel is on a quest to find his parents. The pacing is just right and it's wonderful how the exposition is expertly woven into the flow of the story.
  Grammar
  RickHFox is a very competent writer.  You might find a rare error if you try hard enough, but this is professional quality.
  Character
  Our main character Raziel is sympathetic and believable for his age (so many stories present children like they are little adults, which I think we all know they are not). Though it is still early as I write this review, the other characters come across as believable as well.
  Setting
  This isn't an explicit category with a sub-rating on Royal Road, but I think it is worth calling out here because Fate's Pawn has a unique and fascinating world.  Little details like the existence of multiple moons, a mythical flying city, the large city walls to keep things out and people in, the feel of magic, and the existence of non-human sentient creatures are hinted at in the best version of 'show don't tell'. So a fascinating world to explore and a writer who has enough craft to avoid clunky exposition drops.
  Overall
  This is one of those Royal Road gems.  I'm very happy to have found it.
• ChezdakRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I'm giving this five stars, because it's actually the best story I've read on this site so far. It's highly descriptive, the setting and creatures and characters are all very interesting and events keep happening to drive the story forward. It's also whimsical and humourous. The whole idea of the story, Raziel looking for his parents who seem to have disappeared into some mythical flying city is really intriguing. When I'm reading it, I feel like I'm joining Raziel on an adventure, exploring a unique, mysterious but beautiful fantasy world, discovering the strange creatures that live there, and meeting interesting characters along the way. I was drawn in, not even from the beginning of the story, but from the synopsis. I like the occasional quotes at the beginning of the chapters. I like the names of places and people in the story, they really help built the atmosphere of the setting.The descriptions of magic use and battles, and even the scenery around are incredibly immersive. I'm struggling to find fault with the it, as the story is entertaining and gripping and that's how stories should be. It's the sort of story that would make a really good animated film, or series.
• D.C.VeilingRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This book feels like the beginning of a unique epic fantasy world I'd love to experience!
  I've put mostly 4,5 stars because the characters and story are still in development at the end of the first arc that I've read, but I was pleasantly surprised by both the depth and realistic feeling they gave off.
  The characters all have their unique traits and backstory. Each of them carries their own emotional baggage, and the way they overcome their personal issues with the help of their friends has left a lasting impression on me.
  The story is neither slow nor overly fast-paced but just perfect for the setting we have, and I'd love to read more. The setting is a more traditional fantasy world (so far), while the characters and action scenes are more in the "young adult" section.
  There's not much bad to say about the grammar score. I didn't find any issues, so I've given it 5 stars here.
  Style is always something objective in my opinion. I'd rate it 4/5 because it is easy and pleasant to read, which I like more than working through several pages of flowery descriptions.
  All in all, 5 stars for entertainment value, and I'll definitely come back for the next book.
• ElojkzRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Raziel is an orphan with budding magic powers intent on finding a mysterious fort left on a map in his lost father's diary that will lead him to a flying city where he hopes to find his parents.
  This story feels unique right out the gate. Raziel struggles with his magic due to his restlessness and only begins to succeed when his teacher departs from the normal training regimen. There's an exploration/adventure vibe to it that is surprisingly lacking in a lot of modern epic fantasy. Raziel's lost father was an archaeologist who travelled all over the world, and I find myself excited to follow in his footsteps as Raziel explores (if that is indeed where the story is going!).
  The characters are well-sketched. I'm curious to see how each of their backstories unfurls, while I still have enough information about them to be invested in them despite it being early in the story.
  Likewise, the world feels well thought out even this early on, and though the setting of a magic school is familiar to many readers, the nature of the school being the mansion of the city's sage is intriguing.
  If I had one gripe it would be that the description can run a little long for my taste, but that is personal preference, and it's certainly not out of the realm for epic fantasy.
  Overall, I'm curious to see how Raziel's story plays out, as I'm uncertain what will happen, which for me is the sign of a new and different narrative.
• blugailRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The story follows Raziel, a youngish teen, who’s just getting the hang of magic.
  The descriptions of magic, of how Raziel perceives it and how it affects him are masterful.
  RickHFox, knows how to use describe things in great detail with relying on the adjectives and adverbs that often make this sort of thing feel clunky.
  I also really appreciate the pace at which he’s introducing the characters. Only one or two at a time so that it’s easy to keep each one clear in our heads.
  Stylistically the dialog is a mixed bag. It’s good dialog to be sure. And each dialog exchange accomplishes something, either character development or moving the story along. My big problem with it is that there simply aren’t enough dialog tags, so that it’s hard to tell who is speaking.
  I feel like this story might be better told in the first person. Particularly because the Raziel has so many character thoughts, and it would be easier to apply voice to them if they weren’t being filtered through a narrator. And a very minor nitpick is that Raziel is referred to as “Raziel” a bit too often, when a simple “he” would have sufficed.
  I like the set up his plan, it’s intriguing without being confusing.
  While I like it, I suspect most people would like the amount of detail cut down just a little to increase the pace of the story.
  Thing is, the characters are very likable and that’s what’s important… to me, at least.
• GugumSajahRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Hey! I just finished reading up to Chapter 7 and really enjoyed the experience. The story has a calm, introspective tone that I found refreshing, it takes its time to breathe, which really helps build both character and atmosphere.
  Raziel is a relatable MC: impatient, eager, full of doubts, but clearly trying his best. His frustration with learning magic was portrayed in a very honest, grounded way. I liked that his first real success didn’t come from forcing it, but from letting go and flowing with the magic. That whole scene felt both symbolic and satisfying.
  His interactions with his friends reveal other facets of his personality. His initial development is seen when he first successfully controls magic and in his courage when facing the Gremlins.
  I also really enjoyed Hoeru. He brings a different kind of emotional weight, his moments with Raziel have real heart, and their growing bond adds a lot of warmth. Miles and Roland round out the group well, each with their own little quirks and dynamics. It’s shaping up to be a solid cast.
  The magic system is subtle and elemental, with great potential for depth. I liked how the energy of nature (wind, stone, sunlight) is treated like something you need to tune into rather than dominate. That philosophy resonated with me, I explore a similar theme in my own novel, so it was cool to see.
  One small thought: while the emotional pacing is strong, some of Raziel’s decisions, especially his determination to continue the mission in the face of growing chaos, could be built up a little more to feel fully earned. I can sense the pressure building around him, but I’d love to see his inner conviction shine through even more clearly.
  “If I stop now,” he whispered, “then I was never ready to begin.”
  And so, he kept walking. Not because he was fearless, but because he was done being lost.
  That said, by Chapter 7 the seeds of larger mysteries, about Raziel’s past, the magic he’s touching, and the risks ahead, are starting to sprout, and
• SkarabraeRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This is a very good story.
  Style: I like this story's style a lot. It has literary devices, in particular a lot of imagery that helps with the story's tone and set various scenes within the story. I was able to spot some foreshadowing too as I read more of the story. The author has incredibly good word choice and is able to set the tone very well with it. The author's way of writing is also unique. And I can safely say that the tone fits the story perfectly.
  Story: The story is great. it is paced at just the right pace. It develops at the right pace too. So, no complaints regarding that. The story itself is about a person who is trying to solve the mystery of his parents' disappearance. It does a very good job with this premise and manages to develop it very well.
  Grammar: I couldn't find any grammatical errors. That does not mean they don't exist, but if they do, they are most likely not distracting enough for most people to notice them.
  Character: The characters are really good. They are all well-depicted, realistic, and three-dimensional. The main character's motives are sympathetic and he is interesting to read about. So, no complaints here.
  Overall, I highly recommend this story.
• GrumpsterRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Fate's Pawn is an immersive setting that captures and utilises mythical qualities in magic that blends both the tone needed for introspection and humour effectively. The style is almost perfect, with vivid descriptions that went beyond what I personally expected. Quite a strong voice for the story, as the narrative has a good blend of a lot of different slices of cake, with magic, legacy, self discovery for Raziel and quite character driven stakes involved in the story. The narrative has quite strong worldbuilding that strangely matches well with the character driven plot. However, there are a lot of areas where more information would be absolutely lovely to have, such as the overarching stakes more towards the narrative instead of the character's own personal shakes.
  The characters are good, not perfect, but good overall and they match quite well with each other. The secondary characters should have more development put into them to enrich the narrative, but the strong dynamic between Hoeru, Miles and Raziel are great for establishing them as grounded characters that can produce an emotionally compelling story with good resonance.
  Grammar is strong, clean prose in my opinion and the readability is NOT something that is a problem! Dialogue is great. I first expected much less than I don't think this story is worth anything less than what I give it, it's a good overall story, and I can see this going quite  a way forward.