EnRich

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2015

Author

Malwaky

• Chapter 07
  Sep 1, 2015
• Chapter 06
  Aug 30, 2015
• Chapter 05
  Aug 29, 2015
• Chapter 04
  Aug 29, 2015
• Chapter 03
  Aug 29, 2015
• Chapter 02
  Aug 28, 2015
• Chapter 01
  Aug 28, 2015

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• UrobrouSRoyal Road

  ★★ 2.0

  So, I read about half the 1st chapter and stopped - usually I give any story the grace of the 1st chapter, but this one has not been able to allow me to give it it's chance.
  many authors don't realize the importance of the 1st chapter, and this results in some sort of "well, it'll start crap, but once they read ahead, they'll be very exited" type of mindset - the problem is that the 1st chapter is like the business card of a story; if it's shit, people will flee that story like rats from a sinking ship and avoid it like the plague.
  this story doesn't seem to suffer from horrid grammar or dull plot, though the latter is a bit of a stretch for me, as I have not finished the 1st chapter.
  This story's problem is even more profound - the author does not use any sort of indication to tell the reader who's talking to whom - description of scenes is a bit lacking, but there's absolutely no indication to enable you, the reader, to understand that the protagonist is now speaking, instead of thinking or doing something.
  "Read the lines and use your brain", I hear you say - well humans don't work that way.
  stories are a form of entertainment, amongst other things, and as such, they need to be as comfortable to the reader as possible - my language teacher always told me when she prepared us for the final exams; "you must write as if the tester is is a retarded child - as clear, simple and accurate as possible, making your written assignment very legible, easy to understand, and easy to read."
  Using quotation marks to show that a character is speaking, as such - "Hi mark, I'm john" - is a rather basic thing to do, and the author must do so in order to snag more readers.
  As I've said - the grammar is rather solid compared to other buckets of trash on this website, but the illegibility of the text puts off many readers - by fixing it, and maybe rethinking some words,  this author will be able to take this story to the top 50, I believe.