Dungeon Avenger
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
The world is in ruins, It all happened so fast. However, there is a chance, in a final last-ditch effort, a single apprentice is sent back in time to prevent the destruction. However, something goes wrong. His soul is corrupted during the transfer. His soul fuses to an ancient dungeon core. How can he prevent this apocalyptic future now?
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2019
- Author
- Pineapple_
Tags
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.4/ 5.0
- Followers
- 33
- Views
- 4,873
Chapters(6 total)
Reviews
No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!
Community Reviews(1)
- argusthecatRoyal Road★★★★ 4.0I think this is a solid start. You've clearly got some good ideas going here, and a general plan for where you want this to go, and that kept me reading through the first few chapters. Your main character is an understandable person, and I'm always a fan of when the protagonist is actually attempting to act heroic, as opposed to just deciding to be a murderbox of a dungeon. You've also done this with pretty good editing; minimal errors, no major problems with reading that I saw.
Now, criticisms. While your style is passable, it's also a bit dry. I understood what was going on, but I didn't really get a feel for our main character. The weird thing is, in chapter 0, this isn't the case at all! It felt frantic and passionate and real, and then it sort of tapers off and dies after about midway through chapter 2. I'd consider looking into giving more emotional hooks, more moments of action, to the story. You're good at them, focus on that. Also, I'm sure you've got ideas for the whole dungeon [System] going on here, but be careful not to fall into the trap of just making it... like everyone else. Do something weird and interesting with it; don't feel like you need to hit the 'basics'. We all know the basics - have some fun instead.
Aside from that, I look forward to reading more of this, and hope you keep up the writing. Good luck!