Ducal Juhasz

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

[Updates As Often As Possible]

Honest intentions from a cryptic being, an underground war with evolving divisions, and the ultimate desire to restore balance. Ducal Juhasz follows Jack in his personal and religious quest to help a friend, and do right by his goddess.

Jack’s adventure weaves its way through criminality, spirituality, new and old friends, magic, creatures, and conflict. Regardless of complexity, a simple problem evolving into a labyrinth of insecurity, Jack strides ever onward.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy. Feedback and reviews are always appreciated.

[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: Methuselah

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.7/ 5.0
Followers: 10
Views: 6,883

Chapters(18 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

C. Ron IcklerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Immediately reading this story gives one the sense of the amount of care that the author has taken in crafting his world and characters. It is, in a word, impressive.
Style: If you're looking for strong prose, here it is. Get ready for well thought out wordiness, and realize that while it may at times take some energy to focus on what you're reading, it is well worth it. The worldbuilding is, in my opinion, something to admire.
Grammar: As far as I can tell, the author has an excellent command of the English language, especially considering how many invented words Ducal Juhasz includes.
Story: We've got initiation rituals, risk of losing an important leader and father figure, and a lush well of worldbuilding. Really excellent job with the story, admirable.
Character: The more we read, the better we get to know Jack, Santiago, and Vidal. The last chapter was, in my opinion, the best for characterization, and bumped my score up from 4.5 to 5 in this regard, as Jack and Vidal really start coming alive and the story becomes that much more compelling.
Take some time, sit down and allow the world of Ducal Juhasz to open itself up to you. You're in for fantasy intrigue that feels real, polished, and magical.
D.M. Rhodes (Razzmatazz)Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Ducal Juhasz is an urban fantasy story that I wasn’t expecting. Given the blurb, I assumed this was going to be a sort of latin-based crime-family story and well, I wasn’t entirely wrong. What I really didn’t expect was the occult, lovecraftian influence of the powers that the main character possesses however, which gives the story a really interesting turn with its occult elements.
The story features Jack, an ‘ascended’ who returns to an old part of his life to visit his friend, Santiago, who seems to have lost control of the situation they established there many years ago. The story itself, as I mentioned before, is a very interesting intrigue/crime story, focusing primarily on the return to power by the two old friends. The dynamic of the two is strong and deeply hints at the nature of their old friendship.
The writing is strong and the prose is fluid. I found no noticeable spelling or grammar mistakes. The scenery is well painted. The plot is intriguing and paced well.
It’s still a little early, but I think this is going to develop to be a very strong story, especially if you’re interested in something that is deeply unique compared to the other more common offerings found on RR. Please give this one a fair shot! =)
Golenishchev AndreyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Opening: The story starts amazingly. The "What's going on?" question immediately comes running into my head. And right after "What happens next?" comes knocking. The first chapter hooked me and I immediately started reading the second, followed by the third.
Story: The story is told on behalf of Jack - an intelligent and educated man. He came to distant lands to help his friend. There are interesting and tireless dialogues, twists, and most importantly, that you believe what is happening.
Style: The main character is not stupid, and the narration is in the first person. The description matches the hero, it’s big, capacious, and interesting. While reading them, you don't get bored. The atmosphere of the world is breathtaking. It's dark and mysterious. I also liked the idea of a narrative from the two first persons. It happened only once, but I would like more of it.
Grammar: I didn't have any questions about grammar. While reading, I never stumbled on any strange word or an unsuccessfully constructed sentence.
Characters: The characters are dark, harsh, and smart. They are interesting to watch, they are alive, and you believe in their actions.
Conclusion: I want to say that I could immerse myself in this book for a few days. Alas, the author does not publish chapters as often as I would like. But what saddens me, even more, is the fact that so few people have read a worthwhile work. It's 100% worth reading.
UnoriginalPervertRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This was an amazing read.
The author uses a complex and varied language any other author of his style should read, not only for inspiration, but for the enjoyment of seeing how well it works.
The details are gritty, grim and at times disgusting- used perfectly to describe, amongst others, a spell, which definitively inspired me to better my own detailing.
One thing to note is, especially, the shifting perspectives that allow for a complex, in-detail insight in the various characters' inner workings. It's something I've tried and to some extent failed to implement in my own works, but seeing how well it works in this story I am inspired to give it another go.
Keep doing what you're doing!
JMMatheisRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
*Spoiler free review*
Ducal Juhasz caught me off-guard in a good way. The author has a unique language pattern that screams style as it deals with organised crime families in the underbelly of a city as they vie for power and influence. It follows Jack, an Ascended who has returned to aid a close friend in his attempt to reclaim lost influence of the underground.
Story + Style:
The author uses a very distinct style to tell this story, right down to the mannerisms and application of prose. It really enhances the reading experience when the language uses highlights and emphasises the environment and the descriptive elements. It places you IN the picture not just looking at it.
There is plenty of world-building without being heavy-handed, every chapter painting a broader and more vivid picture of the environment, world, characters and the gang culture that weaves its way through the tale. Some of those descriptions really set you within the scene, walking with the character through the bazaar, I found it quite immersive.
The magic system and how it fits in like a mixture of eldritch cult and goddess given power is very well implemented. How the Ascended are in power behind the scenes.
Character:
The characters really shine, Jack is really nicely fleshed out with a story that is growing by the paragraph. I am enjoying the underplayed potential this character has and how he interacts with the support characters is so well played!
Support characters are a joy, their mannerisms and interplay with the main and others is intricately done, with fantastic control and use of their attitudes and temperaments.
Grammar:
Grammar is good, nicely controlled. There are a couple of strange word choices, but they seem to be an auto-correct issue rather than a mistake. Punctuation is good too.
Overall, Ducal Juhasz is an interesting mix of urban fantasy, crime syndicate culture and intrigue. It is written in a style that really gets the reader into the setting and nicely demonstrates the
Consistent MilkRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Masterfully written world and characters - which I am currently assuming is inspired directly or indirectly by Lovecraftian/Eldritch concepts. A kind of unique magic system is slowly being revealed. Although the overall plot and lore is still obscure at this point, I have high hope of this being a well written unique story to look forward.
Although the writing style is incredible it may require some effort from the reader to get used to.
Raz ScrivensRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall (4.5/5)
I recommend this book to anyone with an interest in the occult, mysterious magic, and/or organized crime. This is the kind of story that I feel is a real diamond in the rough, and with some editorial polish once complete, I think it can really stand out. The underlying story being told is unique and enjoyable, but I took issue with some of the mechanics, as I’ll explain below.
Style (3.5/5)
The style was a mixed bag for me. As others have commented, there’s really strong prose in some parts. Some sentences were executed quite capably. Others left me arching an eyebrow. “Chuckling, he barely fit, which prompted him to shoot me a glare before closing the way.” Is the big guy chuckling, or the main character? “I explained, although his expression, remaining passive and positive neglected confusion or surprise.” While the author has an extensive vocabulary—I learned the word “nescience” from reading this work—sometimes sentences are executed somewhat clunkily. There are also some phrases where the prose gets a little too purple, to the point of being grammatically incorrect, like “an ajar gate.” A word like “ajar” is much more interesting than “open,” but it can only come after the noun it describes. The same goes for the line “For, it t’was a trial of creation.” The line sounds like it would make sense if read aloud, but it’s not quite right on the page. The comma is superfluous and ‘twas is a contraction of “it was,” making the preceding “it” superfluous also. I think the style suffers when it tries to overextend itself. There are solid lines here but I would say others could benefit from some streamlining.
Story (5/5)
The story premise hooked me early on, and I think it’s quite unique. Occult + crime is enough to pique my interest, and I think it’s interesting that I can’t think of another story that’s done this. I have to say there was one detail I found FASCINATING, an extremely gratifying bit of worldbuilding done here (minor spoiler):
“Once there,
RaccoonMageRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Readers! Make sure to get thru Ch3-5 before you judge this book. It really hits some strong points and gains tons of momentum.
Firstly, the opening paragraph reads kinda clumsily to me. It set me up for a surprise because the work grew on me swiftly. And now I'm a fan! I would suggest revisiting the first chapter and tightening it up a little, though. You don't wanna lose anyone before the good stuff starts rolling. You can fix this without changing the substance of it; word choice, syntax, phrasing, etc. Fewer adjectives, cut some dialogue tags down, restructure a few sentences to be less comma dependent, things like that.
That said, I could be all wrong. Maybe all those things are what makes your prose work with this story? I'm on the fence, so you won't be losing much star value from me on that account.
Grammar/Style (continued): I see what you're going for and the tone does eventually convince me that it fits. However, I think there may be too many commas and scrambled clauses here n there. Strangely, it doesn't detract from the clarity of communication very often, so ::shrug::. Maybe it's ok? Occassionally, your word choice feels antiquated or too fancy to fit the context, but again, it sorta fits the tone. And since your prose is flavorful throughout, it's much easier to overlook.
Story/Character: You're doing well in this department. Even though your synopsis is concise and intriguing, I was still surprised when that certain scene involving a grey book went down. It added more depth to Jack and Santiago's character than I was prepared for. And it kept getting better from there.
The magic system world building you've done up thru Ch5 sets an enticing tone. We want to know more and that's always ideal. Not only do we see it in action, but we start to understand how the powers at play affect the societal structure. We're seeing what motivates the characters early on, and that motivates readers to keep reading.
All in all it's a strong beginning. I'm intrigued a
Rhea BringRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Chapter 3 review.
Amazing. The voice and world truly stand out to me here.
The voice of each individual is excellent. I always go by the motto that a reader should be able to tell who is who based only on how they speak. The author does this extremely well, going above and beyond to make each voice and POV deeply distinct and original.
And the world. Oh, my word. The imagination it must have taken to build such a diverse and unique setting. Very well done.
The style, flow, and immersion only grow stronger in each consecutive chapter. You can feel the feet stomping the earth in the streets of the city and hear folk bartering in the market. There are some words that took me from immersion as I had to go back and re-read to get the meaning and a few grammatical errors, but overall it is very clean.
Can't say anything on the story or on the characters beyond this as of yet, since I have only read the third chapter so far.
I'm not much one for cults and rituals, but the writing here is something to marvel at. I can tell the author has spent a tremendous amount of time and effort on honing his art, and the story is strong and flows beautifully as a result. Excellent, excellent job.
If you enjoy beautiful writing filled with distinct individuals and a world of magic and rich world-building, try it. I highly doubt you'll be disappointed.
TamaNzRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Style
There is a lot of good stuff to talk about here. The story is told from a variety of first-person perspectives. This gives a story a sense of immediacy and makes every event feel impactful. There are also a number of negatives. The over-reliance on listing things out, particularly in the first two chapters detracted from my immersion.
Story
There is an awesome narrative here. A tale of a person returning to help out a friend quickly becomes something darker and more interesting. The little hints of a wider world are intriguing and I find myself wanting to know more.
Grammar
There are some minor errors and the story would benefit from a couple of Beta readers going over it. That is a common issue with Writathon stories though (my own included).
Characters
Jack and Santiago feel like fleshed-out characters with believable motivations. The dialogue between them is revealing and interesting. I don’t entirely understand some of the supporting characters though. There is a chance that this will be developed in the following chapters though, and if so I’d be happy to revise this score.
Overall
This was an interesting read. I don’t tend to enjoy first-person narratives, but this one did a good job of catching my attention and keeping it. I’ve added it to my follows and I look forward to seeing its development.