Dragonhearts: The Redeemer

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2022

Author

The Grand Charismo

• Chapter 8: Luke Makes His Decision
  Jul 15, 2022
• Chapter 7: The Forest Isn't Safe
  Jul 8, 2022
• Chapter 6: The Prophesy
  Jun 30, 2022
• Chapter 5: The Mysterious Rescuer
  Jun 23, 2022
• Chapter 4: The Redeemer Revealed
  Jun 21, 2022
• Chapter 3 - A Want for Adventure
  Jun 17, 2022
• Chapter 2: The Dawn's Watch
  Jun 12, 2022
• Chapter 1: A Scribe With No Sword
  Jun 11, 2022

Reviews

Community Reviews(5)

• PlatypusTRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This story is just starting out but it's a great set-up so far. It looks to be a classic "chosen one" story with multiple factions involved and fighting each other. It's clear the author has put time and thought into the story and characters and how to keep them fresh, which makes me want to see where they take it from here. There are also detailed action scenes peppered throughout, which keep things interesting.
  The characters are likable enough. William and Luke have a strong friendship and are developing nicely, though I hope to see a bit more of their personalities come through as the story progresses. The various factions are still fairly unknown so I can't say much about them.
  I really enjoyed the writing style. There's a decent amount of description without it becoming overwhelming. The action scenes really balance out the rest of the story and are well written. The conversations feel natural and realistic.
  I didn't notice any glaring grammar mistakes, certainly nothing that took me out of the moment while reading.
  Overall, it's an interesting premise. It's a familiar trope and the author has set it up well, to the point where I'm invested in the story and want to see where they take it next.
• lcainsworthRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I have loved every part, it was really good. I can't wait for the next chapter. I don't think you should worry about the length of the chapters, i think the length is just fine.
  I am not a good writer and English is my third language so i cannot give you any useful feedback about your style or your grammar but as a reader, i really enjoyed myself.
• Oliver LawsRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Style: The writing style is very descriptive and always paints a vivid picture of the environment and precise tone that the characters are speaking in. The detail of a bandit’s hair being braided with bones and coins, in particular, stood out. It’s a minor thing but adds so much when the author keeps doing it throughout and really helps you visualise the world. The dialogue is a little stiff in places but for the most part believable and fun. I really enjoyed the style overall.
  Story: Not much for me to talk about here since the story itself is still in early stages, but already things are being set up. Multiple factions seem to be rushing to the same place with differing motives and this is a simple yet effective way to kick things off. I’m glad the author is setting up the story like this early, mixing it in with the introduction to the main character. A really good balance had been struck here.
  Grammar: Notices some minor typos so far, missing punctuation and words in places. I’d recommend the author give things a thorough read-through as these can be easy to miss without going through the writing word by word. These are rare enough that they aren’t too distracting when reading, but definitely worth cleaning up.
  Character: William is a really fun character right from the start. His introduction makes him immediately likeable and relatable, and this continues to be the case. The brothers and the other characters are brief but memorable. Luke is definitely a fun character that helps develop William further for the reader. Overall everyone feels grounded and likeable.
  Overall: Really promising start so far. The author is doing a lot of major things right, and I can genuinely recommend checking this story out. I’m going to keep reading as more chapters come out and will update my review accordingly!
• crowrush204Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Dragonhearts: The Redeemer is still in the early-early stages, but the author has done an excellent job setting up the story.
  The prologue bought an intriguing premise to keep the reader hooked, followed by chapter one, which entertainingly introduces our protagonist. Chapter two reminds us of what the prologue has promised, and we are back at our protagonist(s) in chapter three.
  The characters have motives of their own, for example, when William daydreams or when they speak about exploring the world. Through their dialogue, we can sense their friendship and personalities.
  Chapter names are engaging yet spoils little about the contents.
  Some sentences could be a little more concise or split in two, but otherwise, the grammar is perfect.
  Once again, the story has just begun, but it will be interesting to see how our beloved protagonist(s) interact with the people from the prologue or how the story will live up to its title.
• KapowneRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  This seems to be the start of what will ultimately be a good rendition of a "chosen hero" story theme. The writing is well done, there are a few run on sentences here and there.... but utlimately extremely readable and will likely be fixed during further editing, so I am not worried.
  Story wise I think its a great start, though I think it could be improved by some rearranging of these early chapters. I would reccomend keeping the cultists bit in the prologue, which tells us that the redeemer has been found. Present to us all of William bits from opening in its entirety without the break of the Dawns Watch killing the cultists. That bit does not really give us enough context to really know or care about them yet; whereas spending more time establishing William and his life with Brother Barry and Lucas might be better served to give more weight to when the cultists finally attack. That would then in turn give Isaac a better introduction and thus a thirst to know more about the Dawns Watch.
  I would also definitely say that I would like to see more of the relationship between brother Barry and William as well as some more nuance to it. Barry comes off mostly a hardass that might not actually like William all that much, and the same vice versa. Maybe some more redeeming moments between the two would make the bit of Brother Barry being attacked come off stronger?
  Also, Im not sure if you are intending to so, but these first few chapters somewhat reminds me of the first book in the Wheel of time series by Robert Jordan. Excellent book if you have not read it, and starts off very strong. So if you do intend to gleam some inspriation from that, I would say you are not wrong to do so.
  Ultimately, very great start to what I can absolutely see being a great story.