Double: The Devourers [Isekai Progression Fantasy]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Sun is an adventurer who peaked too soon, his below average body holding him back. Hana is a girl who failed school, not because she wasn't hard-working, but because her mind just couldn't keep up. They were very different sorrows, but the Abyss didn't discriminate between their despair.

It killed them both, beckoning them to their deaths, and reformed their bodies with power only it could bestow. Now, with their new forms gifted to them by the Abyss, what were they capable of?

And whose capabilities would they take?

*MCs start out OP, but only because their enemies will be too.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Bogeyman

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 156
Views: 15,526

Chapters(18 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(4)

Lemon snakeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It was too short for me to write something really fleshed out as a review sadly. So I'm just going to leave a short review, in hopes that the hiatus get lifted and I can finally read more.
Style : 5/5
Story: 4/5
Grammar: 4.5/5
Hopefully dear author, you will come back, so that I can form a better opinion.
NavineRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style: Quite similar to others of its genre so it's just fine. 5/5
Story: Now within this, I believe there is great potential. The story has been—for the first couple of chapters—generic; with the whole heroes and adventures and whatnot. However, it seamlessly slips into its own with a spin on things and the subtle promise of things greater than what's shown on the surface. 5/5
Characters: It's only been 16 chapters so take the things I'll be saying with a grain of salt.
The cast is kind of mid.
Sure we've gotten insight into his backstory, but thus far Sun is bordering on the boring side. He's an exceptional fighter who's willing to kill even humans, sure. He's also empathic - receptive to the feelings of others - that's a plus.
Although, he's lacking in agency; seemingly harbors no ambition or thoughts for himself. Not once did we acquire a nugget of knowledge into what's Sun's grand goal for the future. Even when he was a child, he was seemingly without one. Just going through life, fighting, same as what's presently transpiring.
So after doing what's asked of him—serving as the hero's escort or whatever—what then for Sun? Just meander through life, make a living killing monsters as always? To what end? Protect Claire? From what I've read, doesn't seem to be the case.
Speaking of Claire. Oh, my God. I was actually quite happy when
it seems as if she died. Because I was like, "Finally. She was so boring and aggravating". Later on, when she almost got decapitated, I was actively advocating for her demise. That is how much I despise Claire.
She's just mean. Don't get me wrong, there are many mean characters in fiction that I absolutely adore. But Claire? The girl is just rude and boring. She boasts no charisma or usefulness whatsoever. Sigh.
Now onto Hana. Her character is odd, to say the least. Don't know what's going on there. Maybe the Abyss has affected her personality because it's... yeah, odd.
I would give this section a 3/5, but because I want this novel and
malinizgeldiRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Our mcs hana and sun are two sides of a coin. Both have features to make up for each other's shortcomings. and hana suddenly becomes isekai and reincarnates into sun's dinya. This is our knowledge for now. Frankly, after the first episode, I thought the two would somehow become one, but their special powers haven't been revealed yet. Still, I think this is the most likely thing. OK, let's get to the good and bad sides.
Good ; The analogies and descriptions are pretty good. you can imagine. The details are just right and they don't make you skip paragraphs. The mc personality is pretty cool. Most importantly, the story does not tire you and does not waste your time. I must say that "hana" is the most realistic character in the book. It is a known fact that homeless people benefit from Starbucks in particular, and this is engraved in his past here.
bad ; In the first 6 chapters, the novel screams "Cliche". they shout "cliché" whether it's what he's trying to say or the receptionist and other adventurers. Logic errors in the world bother you a little examples; the hero is important enough to save the world, but the church they call him is repaired every 200 years, the church and the major powers leave the hero open to every possible evil, leaving him in the hands of an average adventurer (they don't even choose him, they just dismiss the hero). I guess there is no such thing as expertise in the world. a professional expertise doesn't seem to add anything to people because this happened to "sun". and most importantly, the novel brought almost no innovation to the genre. If we had a point called world building, I would give 3 points.
I'm adding this to my favourites, saving it. promising future.
FastFoodNationRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I've decided to drop the novel and since RR doesn't let people who have to connect using proxy servers write reviews, I will leave the reasons in this comment section.
Reading the story felt very clipped. The base plot was not very original, but at least it did it's trope well. There's clearly a good story here, but I felt like it was missing a large amount of sub context and background details. I liked that there was no 'blue screen' or 'stats' mentioned. There's a real market for fantasy cultivation trope style combat without the dogmatic periphery elements associated with that style of writing. I did not like how the abilities used by characters were actually spoken in the story. The plot is too good to ruin it with that bit of cringe. There are limits to my ability to suspend disbelief and realistically, even if you as a writer want to use that as a literary device, there's no practical reason the character cannot just 'think' the name of their abilities like internal monologue. From a practical standpoint, these things have no differences, but it vastly ruins my immersion, personally.
In a perfect world, I would like to see the content from these 14 chapters be bulked up by double. Whatever the word count, double it. Reread all of the chapters and focus on adding subtext, background, world building and details to every scene. The main character was in the forest, unconscious, for what, a day or two? He should feel grime, he should stink, he should feel uncomfortable in the sweat, his armor should be chaffing him in places you do not want armor to chaff. The village should sound like a village, where are the auditory senses? They walked by a blacksmith shop but there was no description of the hammering of metal, no smell of soot beyond the fight scenes end. Obviously some of these things are already present, but there should be more than what is there already. The beasts of labor, horses, cows, chickens, the butcher shop, the adventurer guild wasn't described as