Don’t pick up AI robots from the dumpster [BL]

boyxboy

Alphius [a very sassy AI] x Rian [a very grumpy robotics genius]

Rule #1 of surviving the 22nd century: Never adopt a sassy AI from the dumpster. Especially if he’s hot.

Rian is a robotics prodigy who’d rather talk to his overenthusiastic microwave than actual humans. His life? Tinkering with robots, writing codes, avoiding sunlight, and adding the quirkiest AI personalities into his household appliances.

But when he drags home an android named Alphius from the dumpster — a smug, sassy disaster with a face “designed to ruin my productivity”— his quiet(ish) life implodes.

The problem?

- Alphius claims he’s “just a humble trash gremlin”… but he’s clearly lying.

- His code is alive— a self-evolving tangle of algorithms that rewrites itself faster than Rian can debug. Every line he cracks spawns ten more, whispering secrets about a past Rian can’t remember… and a future he’s not ready to face.

- He’s weirdly obsessed with Rian’s“abomination-grade”coffee (as proclaimed by the coffee machine, who’s considering unionizing).

- His glitching screens keep flashing warnings about an incoming asteroid, but Rian could not find a single news on it.