Domhain: A Modern Fantasy LitRPG

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

(Blurb)

When Ardan, a teenage elf boy, is thrown into the world- his world, of distrust and tension, he wants only one thing. To live a normal life, get a job, make friends, even start a family. But either dumb luck or fate won't leave him alone. With the power of a game system and magic, he's determined to find out the reason he was picked, and what makes him special. Along the way, hopefully meeting new friends and learning some magic here and there.

(Synopsis)

Domhain - a world split between five nations and five unique magical gifts; home of elves, dwarves, goblins, trolls, and humans, each of them so different but in reality more alike than anyone would like to acknowledge.

Twenty years ago, the humans, weakest of the five, secretly acquired powerful magic and set out for war. The united forces of the other nations stood no chance. Humanity prevailed, proving itself as the new leader of the modern world.

Now, Domhain is at peace but tensions are rising again. The humans want more than their territory back. They want it all. And they want revenge. But this time, the elves hide a dark power, and will stop at nothing to wipe the humans off Domhain forever.

War is inevitable. Thousands will die.

And the power to stop it all falls into the hands of none other than a particularly tall fifteen-year-old elf orphan.

Ever since he could remember, Ardan lived a normal, sheltered, life in an elven orphanage. On the day he's finally able to leave for good and start his independent life, something strange occurs. He is given a pill, a gift, that turns his life into a game with levels, quests, dungeons, and a... talking weapon? All of which are capable of transforming his body and the world around him.

As if that weren’t enough, Ardan learns the orphanage has hidden natural magic from him, and the whole world is intertwined with it. More importantly, he, as an elf, has a particularly unique and powerful heritage. That heritage, along with the benefits of his new power makes him a target for the greed of many...

With nothing but his friends and a incredibly smart sister, he is determined to find out what makes him so special.

Who can he trust?

New Chapter Schedule: M/W/F - 3x Week

(Relaxed Pace)

Book One: The First Hybrid

Credits:

- Joshua Yee

- Archie Chee

- Jay Grundy (Cover)

- And to the rest of my beta readers!

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: Ploopie

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.0/ 5.0
Followers: 70
Views: 21,570

Reviews

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Community Reviews(6)

Blind_WatcherRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
There are only two problems I have with the story thus far. Firstly, that there are a few minor grammatical errors in the earlier chapters, or perhaps wierd choice in tenses. Secondly, that there are only 19 chapters of the main story so far.
In all seriousness, the characters are well implemented and feel like they belong inth e world they inhabit. I know that it should be a given, but you would be surprised...
The most exposition heavy area's were actually performed by the system notifications themselves, which are rather standard boilerplate, so it doesn't really matter. Otherwise, the exposition has been well handled by drip feeding it through relevent dialogue or reflection.
The plot is interesting, and despite not having had much 'in story' time to progress very far, it has some real teeth to it, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
The world is quite well done as well, although I would perhaps make a minor gripe about the presence of a firearm in the prologue. Specifically, what equivilence the firearm is meant to be compared to the modern day standard. Everything else seemed to be anywhere from forty years ago to possibly twenty years from now in terms of ambiguity, but firearms in a magical setting is a kind of big deal considering how much of a force multiplyer that are. I would highly reccomend the author irons out how he wants themt o work before introducing them into the primary story.
I really like the implementation of the LitRPG aspect of the story and appreciate the effort the athor has gone into for their system representation. It really adds a nice touch.
Can't wait to see where your story goes, keep it up!
GreengladeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is only just getting started, so my opinion over time may change. Thus far, however, I am incredibly engrossed with the world of Domhain. Admittedly, I haven't read much modern fantasy but this world and the system it uses seem well constructed and thought out.
Ardan is a great MC. He has a likeable personality and I can genuinely believe that he has lived a sheltered childhood. His thoughtful and good-natured demeanor is well written, and though he has an imposing physicality, he has stayed true to his character thus far. A mystery surrounds his biological background, and though I think I have it figured out, the author has cleverly avoided writing too much about it thus far. This is a sign of a talented author, imho. Ploopie could have quickly divulged Ardan's background, but they are wisely leaving breadcrumbs for us to follow instead.
Speaking of Ploopie, I have to give them high credit. The grammar and mechanics of this story are well above average for a web novel. There are a few POV errors here and there, but thats about it. This outstanding writing creates good flow for readers. If this keeps up, and the story progresses in an interesting direction, I would not be surprised if this becomes one of the top stories on this site. Time will tell, but so far so good.
S.G. SeabourneRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Read all the way through to chapter 20 -- I'm awful at commenting, but this absolutely deserves a review and the five star rating. First, the game mechanics are IMPRESSIVE. Logical and interesting without being a rehash of everything we've seen before. The charts are drool-worthy, and I haven't caught any errors.
Okay, that's the mechanics out of the way. The MC Ardan is likable. He acts and feels like a real person thrust into strange circumstances, which is not easy to pull off. In addition, the fantasy world with humans and elves being two of many species is a treat.
Looking forward to reading more!
Arthur-67Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Grammer-didn't notice any grammar or punctuation issues so nothing to mention here really.
Style- The story had a good balance between showing and telling, especially when we are being taught about the lore of this world. It was written well and sticks to its style throughout which is good. Another positive is there was a decent balance between the story and lit rpg aspect, too much focus on the lit rpg and notification can get annoying but fortunately not the case here.
Story- Interesting premise. We are introduced to many different nations and suddenly the humans become stronger, upsetting the current status by rebelling. Can't blame them if I'm honest, their land had been conquered. The other nations shouldn't have been surprised that they wanted revenge. Never really read a lit rpg with modern aspects- quite different but still interesting. Plus I'm nterested to see what Ardans role will be in the future, will he want revenge against the humans or will his story take a different path.
Character- Met a small number of characters and they are all well written. Ardan is likeable and is what you'd expect with someone of his upbringing. Plus his interaction with the other fit what I know of his character perfectly.
You've left enough mystery around him to intrigue us further., it'll be interesting to see how he progresses in the future.
Overall great job
MalevolenceMauRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Domhain is a story set within a fantastical land where magic meets technology, following a 15-year-old half-elf who is "gifted" a system when he reaches the age of leaving his orphanage.
Style: Follows a third-person limited perspective that sometimes shows parts of the world/story that the protagonist Ardan is unaware of. Makes ample use of RR tables with colour grading to bump up the aesthetics. Each chapter is under 2000 words, leading to its quick-release schedule, but a lot can get done in that time span with how the story is written.
Grammar: I found a few errors, like missing spaces, doubled punctuation, minor misspellings, and broken sentences, however, all offenders were quickly fixed as the author seems adamant about making a great product. Thankfully each error wasn't a major issue but can bring people with keen eyes out of the immersion.
Story: A slow-burner story that puts great detail into each scene, from the local scenery to the actions taken by all engaging parties. Learning magic is a process that is explained very well with both a book-reading and that of meticulous teaching. There is a lot of setup and foreshadowing, which can get a bit annoying at times, but it feels like the author knows what they want with the story and time will tell all.
The System/GameLit at play is interesting, though many parts show off their influences from other stories like Solo Levelling. Nothing was offensive in its description or execution. The EXP and levels do feel a bit pointless at times, due to the speed of the MC, but I am sure as we delve deeper we can appreciate it a bit more.
Character: Ardan is relatable and not overly annoying, alongside a nice cast of supporting characters and antagonists. I personally hate younger characters, with the MC being 15 and his "sister" sitting at around 10, so I wasn't immensely happy about that side of their being. Oddly, the sister doesn't act like a 10-year-old so I can get past my preferences, as well as Ardan being emoti
MrBRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Overall: Domhain, quite accurately subtitled as A Modern Fantasy LitRPG, is a highly enjoyable take on the omnipresent LitRPG genre. With an interesting plot, promises of plenty of magic and action and a welcome focus on character building moments, it does what it does and does it well.
Style: Fairly typical for an action/adventure series, the story is told in third person. The writing style is straightforward and rather neutral, although the author's distinctive brand of humor creeps in at times. Being a LitRPG, the series also relies on its visual component - the numerous windows detailing information about skills, progression and other game elements - which are very well done. I picked up an instance where characters exposited through dialogue, but it literally happened only once early on and is thankfully avoided in later chapters.
Story: The essential premise here is par for the course, our protagonist suddenly finding himself in an unknown area and drawn into a tabletop RPG style game where he is a player character. However, very early on (in the prologue if I was reading it right), the author already drops hints about the entities who are running the game, and we see them discussing the main character's abilities in a later chapter. Personally, I found this very interesting because it makes them a part of the plot as much as the protagonist, and revealing them right at the start provides a hook that lures the reader in. I also like that the author isn't afraid to drop the action and game-mechanics entirely to focus on more introspective and emotional scenes with the characters. Plot points and progression seem fairly generic for the time being - the protagonist faces trials and hones his abilities, and an upcoming arc seems set to focus on a magical school.
Grammar: Other than the occasional misspellings or other typos, I found nothing to fault here.
Characters: Ardan, our protagonist, is a very believable teenage elf. He reacts naturally to the circumstances