Devious Dungeon [Dropped]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A man seeks his own path, deviating from the norms.

For his own goals and desires, he seeks a path uncharted.

For the sake of satiating his curiosity, he sought to tresspass in the domain of the divines.

Achieving something none had before, he transcended his limits.

Denied was he from fruits of his labor, cheated and cast away to be forgotten.

Yet he was given a chance, a gamble to reclaim what was lost.

Did he lose more than he gained, or did he stumble upon a yet another path untrodden?

Hiya, first story I started to write. This story has no definite goal as of yet, as I'm using it to improve my writing skills as english isn't my native language. Main theme is going to be dungeon building. Is the theme cliché? Well yes, yes it is. And I don't care, as I'm going to try add some new twists and turns while experimenting with my writing.

In the future, storywill containmore mature content, you have been warned.

Thus speaking, constructive criticism is welcomed, random bashers and weeaboos are promptly ignored. Updates are sporadic in nature, happening when inspiration strikes.

I do not own the copyrights of the cover. These rights belong to the respective artist.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2017
Author: Kraggy

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 645
Views: 201,226

Chapters(16 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

marmotteRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A story with main caracters whom have wicked humour. There is depth in the background, and we can see the work to lead the story progressively and coherently.
One of the best read are with story depth and also a good moment of laughting.
Lord of a Thousand BladesRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
flat out one of the best reads of royal road... well crafted story, the style could use some minor improvment but that comes with time, the characters feel as though they are alive, and I never noticed bad grammer or spelling... (he doesn't update enough though... (*sigh) possably 3 chapters per hour is to much to ask?)
LupineKingRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I really like the story this far. It's a great dungeon fic. One that is able to focus on the building without getting bogged down by it. The dialogue is great and the characters likeable. The grammar is not bad as well.
Additionally, your habit of going back to edit the chapters and the clear amount of work you seem to be putting in tells me that you're determined and persevering something I admire. I can't say much about the plot as the story hasn't gotten far enough for me to make judgements on that but I suspect it's shaping up nicely.
The main problem I have is that motivations for the characters are very obscure. The god of darkness is basically along for the ride because he wants to... uhm okay. The contracted spirit has little choice but suddenly, despite his jaded past, he lets his guard down and even softens. The MC is more consistent but why was he involved in his study in the first place? We do not know and so far, it doesn't seem like we ever will. Is it his dungeon instincts that are making him cuckoo or is that what he was like all along?
Things I want to see;
Greater focus on magic especially runic magic. You can't bait us with the beginning you gave and then hold back.
Improvements in dungeon creature variety. I'm not saying get a long list of creatures it's just that nearly all the ones you have now share the same features. Big claws, large sharp teeth as well as strong bodies and those are their main offensive abilities. I'd like some innovation similar to the dagger birds.
Nomad1791Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Your a great writer hope you get through the depression. Good luck and don't give up👍
Raph772Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Good but please change cover picture to something else or no picture at all, for myself it made me not read your story until i was bullied into doing so by a friend
LeartesRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I really like it so far. The story, world and characters are interesting and there is a good ratio of progress vs details.
Two minor nitpicks, in some paragraphs you suddenly omit all articles - this is quite anoying when it happens. Also Elan started out as a cool, tough guy and he has devolved in a completely useless joke. I hope this is only temporary and he gets himself together as soon as the dungeon diving starts.
callmesteveRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I really like both his backstory and his completely depraved dungeon design. You know you have a winner when the god of chaos is involved. The place is an utter deathtrap and cute and fluffy creatures try to kill you. Epic. Sadly, it no longer seems to be being written or updated. Perhaps the author tried to do real-life R&D of one of the trap designs?
Please come back!
madmatthew200Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
is it still going as he annoanced the editing it got to chapter 3 and has not moved in weeks ??
VolosRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
This is certainly worth a read if you are at all interested the "dungeon" gynra. The story takes several interesting angles on what normally amounts to a series of tropes.
The grammar could still use some work, even in the rewritten chapters. The rewrite does seem to improve the grammar and word choice, however. The world building is sometimes given as an info dump, and the characters seem to wobble a bit under the strain of trying to progress the story.
Even with all that said, it is still an enjoyable story. I would certainly recommend to a friend who liked online fiction.
shangmgRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
Hard to review story that was dropped after 12 real chapaters. A bit of a shame really since it seemed to be interesting.