DELETED

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

DELETED

Chapters(16 total)

What readers say about DELETED

“The story so far is great and enthralling. The potenial for grander things lay firmly set in these first ten chapters and I hope as time passes this story grows into a wonderful tale. Man Vs Elf (I think). Who will win?, will anyone win?, will no one win?..…”
RustySam12Royal Road5.0 / 5
“This is a tough one to offer any proper critique or analysis, in part because it's still quite new at the time of writing this, but primarily because it's one of those stories that sucks you right in and doesn't let you out. The prose is fantastic, with a g…”
FlicsmoRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(9)

RustySam12Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story so far is great and enthralling. The potenial for grander things lay firmly set in these first ten chapters and I hope as time passes this story grows into a wonderful tale.
Man Vs Elf (I think). Who will win?, will anyone win?, will no one win?... Gess you will have to read and find out.
FlicsmoRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is a tough one to offer any proper critique or analysis, in part because it's still quite new at the time of writing this, but primarily because it's one of those stories that sucks you right in and doesn't let you out.
The prose is fantastic, with a great flow, and pacing that perfectly balances keeping events moving against depth and descriptions; it's more measured than you typically find on RR, but never feels like a slog.
It's early enough that there isn't much to say about the characters, plot, or worldbuilding, but what is there is shaping up to be as exceptional as the prose. The complexity in the elements of the set up alone is enough to grip you immediately.
The perspective change in the first few chapters worried me a bit as I generally prefer novels from a single perspective, but safe to say this is an exception to that preference.
TLDR, just read it. It's good.
Luca DRRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Yes. Five stars across the board. All of them, deserved. Down to the last one.
This is one of those stories that are more unique than rare, the one-of-a-kind that you seem to only come across by mistake. And what a good mistake it was. This was a review swap, but now I am engrossed and I swear to myself that as soon as I will have more time on my hands I will come back to the story and finish it all in one swift breath! Because that's what I will do.
The prose is a pleasure to read. It flows and ebbs, it moves and snakes up on you and hits you in the guts with its rich emotional tones, the tense scenes, the sad bits that bring tears to your eyes. It is a pleasure to read, and something to look up to in my writing. It truly is fantastic.
The characters too. Both pre timeskip and post timeskip. Well written, struggling, three dimensional. Real people but straight out of Tolkien with how they speak and behave. Well, until they go full murder hobo which is always fun. Especially with Elves. I did not see that coming.
Grammar is impeccable.
Story is intriguing, can't wait to read more.
What else? Nespresso? Go read the story, come on!
It began with the forging of the Great Royal Road Stories. Three were given to the Best Completed, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Best Ongoing, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine stories were gifted to the race of Rising-Stars, who above all else desire power. For within these stories was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another story was written.
Onthego8Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The cover caught my eye and I really liked the title. To start, this a great start to what I hope is a long and successful story.
I read this in a noisy, crowded break room and was still able to completely focus on it. The writing flows well and is easy to follow. I can tell you are building toward something big, most likely an epic battle between Aelik and the man from the door.
Grammar was on point and the prose flows very well. Descriptions paint a vivid picture without being on the nose or wordy. Truly great writing here. I could feel the suspense building and the anticipation of what was to come. And the whole time I couldn't put it down. Nice world building with subtle hints at more to come and a rich world to explore. The premise is compelling and keeps you reading to find out what happens next.
I adore a grimdark setting, especially fantasy and I’m looking forward to where this story goes. I am curious about Calder, who appears in the story blurb and I assume he will show up in the next few chapters? Either way I can't wait to read more! Great job wordsmith.
FB5krinoRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
tldr: It's a pretty good read, give it a try!
The synopsis makes it seem like Hina will be the main character, which may well be true, but Poos is the narrator.
Grammar - 3.5
In terms of writing quality, the story reads like a draft. The author has clearly improved in the few chapters written, so I am excited to see how they will continue the story.
Style - 5
Content-wise, the story feels well grounded. The world building is excellent (the principle of "show don't tell" is being respected in this case). I did not expect this, given the silly nature of the synopsis, but so far, the story actually makes sense. I really appreciate the work the author put in to make the plot believable, and the setting of "defense contractor company" seems to be well understood.
Character - 4
I wish I could rate the character writing higher, but the side characters have been flat stereotypes. This is fine for the start of a story, as they can be developed in the future. The author is apparently new to writing, so the excecution has been bumpy, but they have certainly done a good job at giving proper depth and motivation to Poos. Hina has not really had the chance to take center stage yet, and her character at present is seemingly capable 19 year old who takes the "okay boomer" meme a little too seriously. This is fine, but I hope to see more development as she asserts herself in the plot.
Story - 4
In terms of concept, the story is really interesting. I don't know what direction the author will take the story, but I am optimistic. This rating is tentative.
Overall - 4
As the story progresses, I will try to update this review. So far, I've really enjoyed reading this work. It's not as professional as some of the stuff on the front page, but has real potential to be a fun read. The author clearly understands the fundamentals of food writing, and their excecution of those fundamentals should get better with practice. There aren't many chapters out yet, so check it out!
NeslonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Super fun story about a good guy with a hard life. Despite challenges the MC makes a lot of difficult choices for his family then gets some time to start gaming and kicks butt through it all. Lot of similarities to LMS but original story and world gives it it's own flavor. Lots of fun to read. Some grammar mistakes and weird phrasing are there but not bad enough to make it unreadable. Overall a good time 8/10 recommend.
ZearthRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
The story has promise, although the main issue relates to grammar, flow, and sentence structure. While looking back, you may understand what's going on, the opposite can be said when you read through it for the first time. It was also unclear as to which perspective was used up until the middle of the first part, which adds to the issues raised above. I'd say that what's needed at this point, is for the story to be edited to address the issues.
TealiciousTeaRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
A slow-paced, atmospheric and descriptive tale. The fiction is riddled with grammar and punctuation errors but enough is right for most of the story to be understood.
There is a major formatting error in chapter two with a huge block of text at the end, that needs to be fixed asap.
Not a lot is happening, the unnamed crown is an experience that with some editing and proofreading might be more open to being enjoyed. But as it is, there is work to be done to improve the clarity of the text.
ArgyleInsectRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
This review was part of a swap.
This story has a great backbone for a gritty superhero universe. It seems like it will attempt to deal maturely and believably with mental health issues.
It's also very difficult to read.
The author has some amazing ideas. They also have many more that aren't so amazing, but, in addition to those, some of the coolest ideas I've seen in a RR story.
I don't want to spoil them, but you'll see a few in the first few chapters. The blurb mentioning Death Note and Code Geass was an excellent decision and I'm confident that element will pay off again and again in the story's future.
On the other hand...
The mechanics and style are not good. It gets slightly better by the ninth chapter, at which point the author starts at least using italics to denote internal thought. The lack of this early on is pretty frustrating. Aside from this particular issue, the author uses author notes to denote time skips and PoV changes, rather than denoting these within the text, punctuation and paragraphing are usually wonky, and dialogue for a long time feels bizarre and unnatural.
Again, at the ninth chapter these issues seem to improve dramatically, which makes me wonder if the author started working with an editor at this point. Whatever the case, I strongly urge the author to go back and apply whatever their new process to the first chapters.
My single biggest issue, the one which makes me not want to continue reading even if the technical issues improve, is logistics. Early on, our viewpoint character is able to walk up to a man who was hit by a car right outside an amusement park and take something from his possesion with no one noticing.
He then enters the park and engages in a description of chess which makes me wonder if the author has ever played chess before. He doesn't really know what a roller coaster is, but has sensory acuity to pinpoint a woman as smelling like three-in-one shampoo.
We seem to live in an alternate world and timeline, possibly in