Deep In The Heart 2019

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Note: A re-write is currently being posted to both this site and AO3. I recommend you read that version first instead of this one, so check my profile for the new version.

A snarky, anti-social band student named Ashley finds a strange journal in her closet which allows her to access a mysterious parallel world. This kicks off a bizarre and turbulent journey, in which she finds herself leading the charge against a malevolent entity.

The story is inspired by Persona 5, but features a fully original cast of characters and setting.

Note that this work is overtly religious.

Note: This story should only be posted to Archive of our Own, Royal Road, and Wattpad. If you find it anywhere else, please let me know.

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2019
Author: Iris Lydian

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.6/ 5.0
Followers: 8
Views: 34,419

Chapters(48 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

Skylark (Dion Sky)Royal Road
★★★ 3.0
Reading this story feels like reading two separate tales.
One is the psychologically-tangent action of Persona 5. The other is a high-school drama navigating the challenges of queer romance in a religiously-motivated hostile environment. The story synopsis sets you up for the former, but for the first ten chapters, what you actually get is the latter, with the action plot only kicking in around Chapter 11.
It's not bad, but it does create a significant disconnect between expectation and payoff. There's a fair amount happening from the drama angle, so it would have worked better if the two halves of the story had worked more in conjunction with each other rather than being so separated, with characters' development and drama occurring as they explored the realm of the Metaverse rather than for a long time beforehand. I would have liked to see far more integration between the two plots and the characters' movements between worlds. And because Persona is all about characters' underlying psychologies, it feels like a real missed opportunity.
On a related note, I think there's a lot of content in the first ten chapters that would have been better cut from the story completely. We see many mundane interactions at school with characters discussing movies, music and games in detail, with plenty of jargon, music terminology and pop culture references thrown around. While I did get most of the references, it slowed the plot, and I can only imagine what it would have been like reading these sections as someone who had no idea what the characters were talking about. Rather than sifting through frequent nods to other existing franchises, I wanted to find out more about the unique aspects of the world these characters inhabited.
On the positive side, the grammar is strong, the plot points are interesting and meaningful, and the story accurately captures the feel of the game, especially after Chapter 11. At this point we start seeing more of the Metaverse, more of the world-buildi