COSMIC DEATH

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

*For clarification this is a re written version of my previous work Cosmic Death.*

The Cosmic Death came without warning, logic or reason.Gradually, it stripped countless planets of their life, sinking its tendrils into their delicate soil before snuffing out the primordial flames of their cores.

The life would be corrupted slowly seduced into insanity by Its gentle voice until it could no longer be called life.

Countless people tried to fight against it and countless more fell to its crushing indifference.The Cosmic Death was like a god, it was beyond everything.Rich and poor, strong and weak.It was all equal in the eyes of the Cosmic Death.

Even the stars themselves were devoured one by one, their light veiled from the life they sustained forever.

After centuries of failing to stop its path of destruction humanity sought to understand it, longing to see a pattern in its actions.They failed countless times with each revelation just leading to more questions.But step by step humanity made progress and now after five hundred years of the Cosmic Death’s unceasing advance they have finally found a ray of hope.

That hope is one man, and his name is Stark Kalamari, one of the second and strongest generation of immortal soldiers destined to conquer the Cosmic Death once and for all.

Stark was the first human to ever become immune to the Cosmic Death.But one hundred years ago he vanished without a trace and now many have lost hope again.

Amidst the chaos of this decaying world, Bruce Valkyrie has been tasked with ushering the souls of those infected by the Cosmic Death to the mysterious realm above the cobble stone path. A realm that he’s never seen but knows the greatness of all to well. A place free of the Cosmic Death where the souls of the infected are purified in the rainbow flame.

This story takes heavy inspiration from soulsborne games with bloodborne being the biggest inspiration.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2024
Author
Century boy

Tags

ACTIONFANTASYMAGICSUPERNATURALSTRONG LEADMALE LEADHORRORMULTIPLE LEAD CHARACTERSPOST APOCALYPTICLOW FANTASYMYSTERYGRIMDARKGENETICALLY ENGINEEREDMYTHOSSOFT SCI-FIDYSTOPIA

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.5/ 5.0
Followers
1
Views
255

Chapters(1 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(3)

  • TreesworthRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    This is a really refreshing idea. It's a post apocalypse undead hunting romp within a universe that has a simple and well thought out premise.
    The writing has a charming colloquial diction that immerses us in a sort of cowboy epic fusion that reminds me of the Dresden Files. But, there is no time for noir in this story because it is filled with action from page 1.
    Style - the writing drips with informal language that immerses us in the perspective of Bruce. It's a clever way to give a third person perspective a sense of character.
    Story - this review includes a very early part of the story. There is more to come and I imagine we are in for episodic mission arcs filled with action that develop the overall narrative.
    Grammar - there are a few typos but nothing story breaking.
    Character - The style of the writing gives us an immediate sense of the main character. Some descriptions could go deeper, especially when we are deep in the grotesque. The dialogue of the characters other than the mc is a bit flat and maybe too stereotypical. In my opinion this is an intentional choice to focus on the action which is really the star.
  • SEBscribeRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    There we go, this was a nice and easy read with some slight hiccups here and there. It is still in an early stage, so there is a lot yet to come that I can only speculate on - which I do and that is a good thing for a story!
    Style: It is a rather simple setup so far, jumping right into action and introducing us to the ominous threats of the story, a little bit of lore/background and the arsenal and basic beats of the main character(s, plural). Everything is functional and has an easy to follow structure so far. The action pacing could be a bit quicker in the first chapter, but the rest flows fairly well. The character actions and monster descriptions are fairly creative, especially the introspection, but it suffers a little bit of 'white room' syndrom where I struggle to imagine how everything looks. For now, I think it is a vaguely victorian noir vibe.
    Story: It starts with an intriguing premise and has a killer first line with a good hook. Where the flow could have a bit faster pacing, the story itself could maybe take some time to have some more well rounded transitions. At times, shit just happens from one paragraph to another. This infection plot looks very promising, and the sibling characters and Azalia herself look like a great source of conflict for the future, be it internal or external.
    Grammar: That's probably the weakest part of the story. Nothing really interrupts the reading, the sentences work well and I never had to ask myself what was meant. But there are quite some careless mistakes and sentences could be crisper and more on point (example Dagger Knife in the first chapter... it can be a dagger or a knife, both words look a bit silly together). None of this is so severe that a good round of editing or some grammar software couldn't fix it with ease, so it has a bright future lying ahead.
    Characters: So far, there were only four and a half proper characters introduced and some side-characters to interact with. I am looking forward what the cultists
  • CaptainPompadourRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    I'm always a sucker for some cosmic horror. You did a really good job at establishing this new world and going from set piece to set piece. I am really loving the action so far, I love how descriptive everything is (though we'll talk a bit more on that in a bit), and this story and its potential being set up here is just like...Muah. Chef's kiss. I'm really excited to see where it goes.
    Grammar -- There's a few mistakes, nothing that can't be sorted out from just going through and editing I'm sure, but there's a lot of misplaced commas or lack thereof, there's some inconsistent punctuation from time to time. Nothing too stand-out or noticeable for me, but the few that were had been a little distracting and broke the flow a bit. Missing capitalization for some proper nouns. Could use a bit more creative noun usage in places too? But that's a personal nitpick of mine. Overall though, pretty good job on that front.
    Style -- Here's probably the trickiest part of this review, because as I like what the style is going for, it just sort of falls flat in execution for me. There's going to be times where characters just exposit stuff and it feels unnatural? I'm not sure how exactly to put it into words, but stuff like with Leyla Bennington saying "Why would you hurt me after I’ve been such a caring and obedient daughter? I’ll tear you to pieces for betraying me." If it makes any sense, it does not feel like something a lumbering, screwed up necromorph would take the time to spell out during a rampage, even if she does still have some of her wits about her. There's a couple of times where there's dialogue like this that kind of overexplains what's happening and it takes me a bit out of it. Another thing with the style, which I really really like when it's pulled off right, is that it's almost formatted to be a narration of our main character's thoughts, rather than your usual third person omniscient style. The narrator has Bruce's voice, almost to a fault---sometimes it is di