Coreline

Information

Status

Hiatus

Author

Justnox

Reviews

Community Reviews(7)

• Peats DOJORoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I'm not finished with the book yet (slow reader), but the imagery you get in your head. It's a gritty dark book so far, the MC is complex and the story has a lot to tell. 🫠 Bye. Oh wait it says I need a minimum of 200, gosh... 🤔 When I first started reading I was drawn in right away on the details of the city and environment. The descriptions of the characters are well done, the city seem interesting though a place I wouldn't wanna live and I'm sure most wouldn't want to either.
  I'm curious where the story goes as I'm not very far in at the moment, the technology seems interesting. Wow this minimum word length is killing me haha, I'm usually not to expressive.
  The cover of the book has two characters so I'm eagerly waiting to see the second character and what happens with them, besides all that I'm to sure what else I can add besides to say I like it and hope the quality in story keeps up which I think it will, and in that note I hope everyone takes the time to leave a comment with review's, I just started writing and reviews with comments go along way with me, heck even reviews but I know I can't improve unless I know the good, bad and ugly so leave a comment yo!!!
• 167fiveRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Honestly saying, I don't normaly enjoy stories like this, but this one was very solid.
  The enviroment you create is the best part of the story. The details of the unique city, the descriptions of the characters, are all very, very good.
  For the personalities of the characters themselves, they are very good and relatable. I don't really enjoy reading furries, but for someone that does, this story will stand out to them.
  Nox is definately a main character readers will enjoy. He is an unwilling fox forced into a plague of secrets and danger that he never asked for. Seeing how he will react to certain situations, and his solutions to them, are all very interesting to read.
  Overall, this is a story that ticked all the boxes that makes a good story. My own personal pet peeve is to improve the font and style, especially in the blurb. I will be looking forward to see how the story advances.
• D.P. GurbalovRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  This has definitely got a strong core (the vertical toxic city, the “flush” concept, the ad propaganda, ), but the draft is still fighting on clarity and flow. The imagery is genuinely cool, and a few moments hit hard, but the POV/voice switches and the heavy exposition dumps keep breaking immersion.
  Feels like a really promising concept that needs tightening and cleanup to land at 5.
  What I mean is that it is not badly written at all. It's very good but the POV shift makes it hard to read.
  The POV/voice keeps shifting (poem -> scene -> narrator talk-> new character)
• LTAndersonRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Coreline is a promising, if somewhat raw, cyberpunk story. It's set in the eponymous futuristic city of Coreline populated by all sorts of anthropomorphic animals. It's not really clear what the population being animals does for the story. But if we can have Shadowrun, that's essentially Neuromancer with elves, there's also place for Coreline, that's Neuromancer with foxes.
  Nox, our hero, is one such fox. He does what he has to to survive in his chaotic layered city. We experience the story through Nox and get plenty of his thoughts on what's happening around him. He serves as our tour guide through Coreline's grimy streets. In the early chapters, all other characters are essentially brief flickers that come in and out of focus now and then. They create Coreline's atmosphere, but it's Nox who's the main star of the show.
  Since Nox is doing all the narration, and with the story's overall dark and uncompromising atmosphere, it takes on a certain hardboiled mystery quality. Only one ironed and beaten into a Light Novel shape. I'm not sure if this is the perfect combination of styles, as oftentimes hardboiled fiction requires long, winding passages that entrance you into losing yourself in the tale. And a Light Novel's structure just doesn't have the word economy for that. Still, every once in a while we do get an impressive sentence that further reminds us just what sort of place Coreline is.
  The plot sits somewhere between a cyberpunk story of "high tech vs low life" and a hardboiled or even a noir story. It has mystery, murder, more questions than answers, and unstable cyborgs. The early chapters set things up and make you wonder just where all this can go.
  On a technical level, Coreline could use some work. It's formatted oddly with lots of extraneous line and scene breaks. Beyond that, there are frequent cases of forgotten capitalization and tense confusion. It's not terrible, but definitely noticeable. I hope the author at some point gives it an extra editing pass
• SirRichardTheDragonRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  I'm in chapter 12. It's a slow burn, but the characters are great, and the world is fascinating. It reminds me of the black and white detective movies of the 1950s. I like the inclusion of protogens. A furry must-read. This is also good for dystopia lovers and science fiction lovers. It even has a touch of steam punk.
• LE_DONUTRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  A story about the daily life of a fox in a corrupted city, fighting for survival.
  Im not good writing critiques, but i can say for sure this soty is a banger. The setting is wonderfull and the way the narrator tells us about nox surroundings is espetacular. Even in the dark of the city you can se the pretty in it, like the colorfull ads shining into the blood on the streets. my only critique is the lack of some characters descriptions, but thats a pet peeve of mine, i like detailed stuff lol.
  anyway, i really like stories with good world building and complex characters, and this one has both and more.
  im excited to read the next chapters! Also, millio is the best, i love him <3
• A.X.RawlinsRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  You have definitely put some work into this! The atmosphere is much stronger, and the prose feels less fragmented than the first draft.
  What’s improved:
  The Tense Consistency: This is much better. You stuck to past tense for the majority of the chapter (e.g., "Nox leaned against a cold alleyway"), which makes the reading experience way smoother.
  The Atmosphere: The descriptions of the wind "howling like a ghost" and the "soft purple bloom" of the ads really sell the noir vibe. The world feels alive and lived-in.
  Nox's Internal Voice: The flashback to the badger woman is integrated better now. It gives us a clearer picture of why he is the way he is without stopping the plot for too long.
  The Protogen (2739): He is still the highlight. The detail about his "digital jagged eyes" and the way his personality flips from serious to "Okay byyyyeee!" makes him a fantastic, chaotic character. Personally, I like to extend "bye" into "byeeeeee" - but its a stylistic choice, not a mistake.
  Things to polish:
  Formatting: You still have some large gaps between paragraphs. In a web novel format, standard spacing (one empty line) usually looks cleaner.
  The "Bluff" Scene: This was a great addition! When the Protogen asks "Tell me what's on the stick," the tension spiked perfectly. Nox's response - "Can't tell you - too many people" - was a smart, believable way to dodge the question.
  Dialogue Punctuation: You missed a few commas/periods inside dialogue tags.
  Text: "How inconspicuous," He mused sarcastically. -> Should be: "How inconspicuous," he mused sarcastically. (Lowercase 'h' after a comma).
  Quick fixes:
  "His tail caught up mid motion" -> Maybe "froze mid-motion"? "Caught up" sounds a bit odd here.
  "One day." -> This paragraph feels a bit floating. Connecting it to his desire to leave or succeed would ground it more.
  "Psychology without a chance to catch on to it." -> This is a fragment. Maybe: "It was psychology weaponized before you had a chance to catch on."
  This is a massive