Collected

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

(Participant in the Royal Road January 2025 Community Magazine Contest)

[SHE IS DEAD, BUT THE COLLECTOR GIVES HER LIFE.]

The Fervent Indulgent are on a pillaging spree, led on by Beastmaster, father of mutant monsters. Kamali has been murdered by their kin. Yet before her soul can depart, a monster claims her.

The Collector, thief of souls, has absorbed Kamali into his hivemind. She survives, but she is shackled, amongst an assortment of fallen spirits bound to his beck and call. Now she has little choice but to work with the abomination keeping her alive.

Worse still, the Fervent Indulgent’s sweeping raids are far from over. Beastmaster has greater aspirations, and in the wake of his destruction, the Collector means to feast like a vulture. And yet, there seems to be a seed of goodness inside the fiend — a moral, human side to him that cares, deep down. A part that despises his own fallen nature.

Perhaps Kamali can extract it from him. Or, failing that—

She'll need to challenge his rule every step of the way.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2025
Author
SaadTheConjurer

Tags

FANTASYMAGICFEMALE LEADDRAMAGAMELITPSYCHOLOGICALSHORT STORY

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.6/ 5.0
Followers
6
Views
2,717

Chapters(14 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(4)

  • CommonerCommentsRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Overall
    Dripping With Style!
    I absolute love how SaadTheCollector has managed to pack so much style in such short scenes. After less than a chapter, I’m convinced I know The Collector. Within a mere couple paragraphs I feel like I absolutely understand beastmaster.
    Fantastic writing, great characters, compelling start!
    Grammar
    +++++++++++++++++
    Spelling
    Is spelling consistently correct?
    5/5
    +++++++++++++++++
    Words
    Are words used sensibly and appropriately?
    The correct homonyms are used (there, their, they’re | then, than | etc.)
    Word choices make sense within sentence/paragraph context
    There are no typos
    For most part word choice is fantastic! There are certain times where the prose confuse my small mind.
    5/5
    +++++++++++++++++
    Punctuation
    Punctuation is used correctly.
    No run on sentences
    No (confusing) sentence fragments
    Punctuation used in line with their grammatical purpose
    5/5
    +++++++++++++++++
    Structure
    The structure of the writing is both correct and good.
    Paragraphs flow well
    It’s easy to understand sentences
    Reading is generally seamless
    Don’t have to go back and confirm things
    Don’t get confused until reading further
    5/5
    Style
    +++++++++++++++++
    Tone
    The tone is intentionally set and works well with the story.
    The tone of a story is the perspective and bias/opinion expressed. In a fictional work the tone is most notable in how well a character’s perspective is represented uniquely.
    The tone is generally exceptionally strong. However, I definitely strike a point for Kamali’s own perspective being extremely weak/unrepresented. One of the most important things that tone can convey in a third person limited story is the character’s emotional state, which I felt was rarely touched upon.
    4/5
    +++++++++++++++++
    Mood
    The mood is intentionally set and works well with the story.
    The mood of a story is the ambient feeling. The atmosphere, environment, tension, etc.
    In other words, the mood is the vibe.
    Beyond reproach. Collected’s mood is so strong that I wish my non-ar
  • StrawberryRainRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    I love puns.
    A lovely story that starts off incredibly strong and drags you into the dark without hesitating. Rich prose reflects the heavy tone of a tale just as ominous, if not marked by death. Really, for a story centering around death itself, the word choices and writing style couldn't be better. The author has a talent for whipping up unsettling atmospheres quickly and skillfully, and they're just as quick to immerse.
    Spotless grammar. Utterly gorgeous. If there's flaws, they're practically invisible. Chef's kiss.
    Newly-deceased Kamali has long since doffed a spiritual gift that now leaves her coveted by the harbinger of death himself, a collector of souls with more of a motive than he lets on. The Collector is more than what he seems, despite his demeanor and the tales he comes with, and Kamali is left to unravel his secrets in ways she might not always enjoy--and find a path that might set her free of his grasp.
    We, too, get to unravel the very same Collector. He's incredibly complex, and far more than the ominous figure he's made out to be on the surface. Beneath his exterior is an onion of emotion and cracks in his armor, to say nothing of the web of mysteries tied to his existence. Every chapter explains his motives and life--for what that entails, when you live to court death--just the slightest bit more. The dripfeed is delicious, and the author is masterful at both pacing and spacing out new revelations. As to Kamali, her own roles and goals are just as perfectly spaced, and what it means to be a shaman is equally intriguing to uncover bit by bit.
    A beautiful and dark little story, still opening up little by little with more to explore. Perfect for a stormy night, or just a comfortable day!
  • M.E. CheRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    "Collected" begins with an intriguing premise, introducing readers to the mysterious Fervent Indulgent organization. The story follows a protagonist who becomes entangled with the enigmatic character known as the Collector, creating a compelling narrative that blends elements of gamelit and superhero fiction.
    The story starts in media res, presenting readers with an interesting world filled with unique concepts. By the third chapter, the pacing settles into a comfortable rhythm, revealing a rich setting with hints of a class/job system and complex organizational structures.
    The villainous organization bears similarities to those found in Super Sentai series (like Power Rangers or Kamen Rider), offering a fresh take on the genre. While the protagonist's situation - being caught between powerful forces - creates an interesting dynamic, particularly during their interactions with the Collector.
    Recommendation:
    If you enjoy gamelit, morally complex characters, and stories that blend heroic elements with unique worldbuilding, "Collected" is worth trying. The first three chapters are quick reads that will give you a good sense of whether this ongoing series is for you. As the series continues, it shows promise for further development and improvement.
  • rrreaderzRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    I hadn’t encountered this premise before.  I can see real promise in a character whose abilities come from a collection of other’s. There have been some nice small twists and turns so far, and the early world building is intriguing.  Characters do feel a bit flat at times, and the pacing could definitely be quicker for my tastes.  All in all, lots of potential and it will be interesting to see where it goes.