City of Captives

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In the Qursan Empire, the grey walls of the City press down on its subjects. It is a highly divided society which is based on the magical strength of its citizens. While the most powerful are trained as Mages, the majority of citizens use their limited skills with Essence to power the City in their assigned jobs.

Jano is pretty much the lowest of the low in the Qursan Empire. A Class Ten citizen forced into transitory work after having his power restricted. When he gets the opportunity to change all of that, he takes it with both hands.

This is a slow burning progression fantasy. Please expect at least two chapters per week. I love writing this story but I do have unfortunate things to deal with like work and life outside of writing. I may be able to write and edit more than that, but it will never be less!

This is largely still a draft. I hope to use any comments and reviews in the future.Thanks for reading!

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: CrowJWilliams

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.9/ 5.0
Followers: 17
Views: 9,812

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

DoveEaterRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Jano is but a very small cog in a very big wheel. A man, living the very depths of poverty as rarely described, in a city he's never seen outside of, and stuck with his position due to the caste structure and how much magic each person is allotted. He grinds every day hoping for enough just to have enough to eat and has for years. Like any and all people that would live through this, he is meek, and lacking in self-confidence. But that's ok because true greatness doesn't appear but grows and after mysterious mage offers him a shady chance to improve his lot, well, who is he to turn it down?
Currently this story might feel a little slow paced, but honestly it helps truly set the stage of his life and misery in which he must overcome, through good fortune, grit, and talent.
The writing style of this story is very much slow paced, and if you want something fast with quick turn around... sorry, but what it does do is paint a picture unlike many other very well.
The grammar is practically, flawless, and I have nothing but good things to say about it.
The story is, again, a little slow so it's hard to tell exactly where it's leading, but the intricacies of it make it worthw while.
The Characters in this story are perhaps one of the most enjoyable things that I've found about this story, they are real people with doubts, personality, fears and hope, and while they aren't necessarily all-stars, they definitely have the foundations to be some thing great, each and every one of them.
WyliemindRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Reviewing as of Chapter 23.
Story
Its a story about the main character going from a bad situation to (hopefully) a better one. I think the story is cool and I like the different elements going on so far. I'm really enjoying the slightly different nature of 'the mentor'. It could be a little faster, but I enjoy the pacing for the most part. The story is unfolding nicely.
Character
I like the fact that Jano is caught up in the circumstances and he isn't immediately directing where the story is going. The fact that the main character is rooted in a believable situation for fantasy of this type is also nice to see.
After being ground down by his position in society, he grasps at any chance to improve life for himself and his wife. He has no option to say no when things might not sound right. It's interesting to see whether the ends will justify the means. The characters have good backgrounds and aren't just flat two dimensional beings.
Grammar
There's no real grammar issues and the writing style is nice and clear. So all good from that perspective.
Overall
Really enjoying it. I hope it keeps going and I'm interested to see how the story evolves. Do they stay in the city? Or will they be forced to leave? I kinda selfishly hope this develops into a longer story.