Chainless Demon (cultivation/xianxia)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

After years of torture and torment in the most brutal prison in the Five Planes, the famous 600-year-old Demon Shepherd escaped along with several prisoners, taking advantage of a mysterious incident. However, the trackers that had been implanted in his body, Ka and Ba, caused him to be pursued everywhere he went.

His plight got a lot worse when he stumbled upon a Key that the Heavenly Union seemed to desperately want. The bounty on his head skyrocketed; the whole world was after him.

His life turned into a nightmare. He couldn't even shit in peace, let alone cultivate.

And now, they have finally cornered him.

Fortunately, he knows a Yantra, and his only chance to escape death is by... killing himself.

[TRANSMIGRATION - WEAK TO STRONG - UNIQUE CULTIVATION SYSTEM]

Disclaimer: The MC is evil and will do... horrific things.

Patreon is 10 chapters ahead

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: Bukasha

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.1/ 5.0
Followers: 420
Views: 48,893

Reviews

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Community Reviews(5)

Dario14255Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
A nice start to an interesting cultivation story.
While using tropes can be seen as negative I think there is enough for new takes in the cultivation genre.
I like it so far, though the MC might not be for everyone. Let's see how the author continues the story.
I hope that in the future we will see more of the world and the wider universe.
anraeyRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
The story is grammatically well written, but it skips a few steps in the logical progression of the main characters youth after the reincarnation.
This makes for a confusing transition from his immortal self, to his baby self to his teenage self.
On top of that, the writer further adds to the confusion by changing up the cultivation system, from a traditional one to one that is fueled by the consumption of mortal souls. In this setting every single cultivator is murderous asshole who owns mortal slaves and uses them for soul potions or just feed the souls off their slaves’ dried up husks.
There is even a government agency dedicated to making soul potions out of mortal slaves. In a very Dolcett fashion, mortal women either survive as sex slaves or are consumed for their souls.
The world setting is depraved and the main character is an asshole just because. There is no guiding logic to his actions, no purpose, he is just being an ass because he feels that he can be an ass.
Overall not my cup of tea. The story is too depraved, the storytelling is confusing, and the main character has no charisma.
Joey MacaroniRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
I think this story has potential. It started strong and gave bold xanxia vibes. Unfortunately, things started to get a little sloppy around the awakening ceramony. Despite having 600 years of experience, the MC is strangely conceited and stubborn. At times, it feels like his indifference is theatrical instead of practical. Ultimately, his temperament made things more difficult than they needed to be, not something I'd expect from such a character. Even still, there are moments that are immersive and vivid.
My second points of criticism is the plot. Too many questions are answered too quickly, I.e., info dumps. At too many points does the focus switch from the external environment and character choices to a dense synthesis of the underlying variables. Part of the fun of reading is exploring the world and making inferences, theory crafting and all that. Getting the answers too easily makes it less fun.
I can tell this writer has skill and imagination. I have faith that if they can make this story into something really entertaining, it just requires some workshopping.
EdwardNewgateRoyal Road
★ 1.0
The problem with this one is simply the lack of creativity. I read the first 11 chaps and I knew exactly what would happen because it just reads like a RI rewrite. Even if you are influenced by RI you shouldn't be copying it in all plot points. And the Mc in RI wasn't an a** because he doesn't care, he was an a** because of benefit, unlike this one who creates problems for himself for no reason. I'm really disappointed.
MulBe039Royal Road
★ 1.0
This reads like a rough first draft. I strongly suggest a full rewrite with major restructuring and a serious editing pass by a third party for this story.
The tenses in Ch1 are all over the place. It gets progressively better, but then the story devolves into one giant infodump. So much so that the rest of the story just drowns in it.
Beyond that, the remaining story is poorly fleshed out, and the MC does not behave according to his background, even if you accept his cruelty as a desirable character trait.
I get that the MC needs to have something that makes him special and gives him a foundation for surpassing everyone else for the character arc and the type of story you have planned here, but I suggest either restructuring the entire existing story, or the background of the MC so that his actions make more sense.
A quick and dirty fix you could go for if you don't want to essentially start from scratch:
His body is influecing his mind, and he is not himself due to hormones/underdeveloped brain/mindswap complications/damaged cultivation or something, but you'd have to be subtle in forshadowing it and it would require the MC to be able to doubt himself for it to be effective so you'd still need to make some rather major changes to the story.
As it stands, he does not behave like an immortal psychopath, or an old monster but like a spoiled brat at best.
Another thing this story really struggles with is transitions and deliniations. There's two obvious candidates here:
Timeskips: You need to make these smoother, and you need to do something about that ±16 year timeskip. It needs to feel like that time has actually passed and not just like a continous conversation/inner monologue of the MC. Honestly, you might be better off having the new soul only drop in at 14-16 years old or sth.
POV switches: These are not delineated clearly enough and you jump back and forth too much.
I'm not sure if you're trying to set up for a multiple lead character story, but if that is your