Blood and Honor (Rewrite)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Fate is such a simple and complicated word. It is also the name of the most popular VRMMORPG. Do what you want, be what you want. Your fate is what you make of it.

Their is also wealth and power from Fate Online for those willing to take it and fight for it. For the people fighting from the bottom up, they are willing to do almost anything. Even kill or betray.I learned that the hard way, but when a man losses everything, he can do pretty much anything.

Note* I do not own the Pic, I did not create it. All credit of the PIC/Art goes to the original creatorNote* Rewrites are coming starting 08-March-2021Note* Chapters will be released on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.Note* This story will contain profanity, violence, cursing, sexual content, offensive language, jokes about fantasy ethnic groups (People that aren't real in other words), etc... So if you are easily offended, perhaps you should not read this story.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: BloodneverLies

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.3/ 5.0
Followers: 226
Views: 56,512

Chapters(49 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(4)

SrayanRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
First let me say that this story is brilliant.
I don't think I read the previous version, but I might do that later just to see the progression. The MC is a regular guy - not much background on him - but very smart and decisive. That means logical choices (given his overall drive and plans). Also no random dumb moves so far, no unforced errors. Excellent writing and grammar. The story - early days yet but feels right on the money.
Spoilers follow:
There is something in RL that sounds like serious conflict brewing up but not much in that so far.
Virtual world: His avatar "immortal" to the NPCs has triggered a major event in the MMORPG. Effects include (1) a major evolution/ elite class change for the avatar (2) exciting new land/ potentially powerful civilisation opening up to him (3) major personal quest line to develop it before this land opens up to others - including potential historic enemies. (4) access to a FIVR unit for MC (5) there are hints that he will form an alliance of other gamers "immortals" but not much in that yet.
At current chapter this story just feels really well balanced. No sequences that don't "ring true" - not merely in terms of language but also of story-telling. No bits where you feel like yelling at the MC. No episodes where you think "the author just got lazy there".
Sure there are things the MC can't do (yet), there are choices he has to make that are forced ones, but that's all good storyline. Top line.
GomdzsabbarRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
While the premesis is interesting, the execution is - as the title says - flawed.
The first thing one notices, is that this story sorely needs a beta reader. It isn't filled with mistakes but they happen often enough to be problematic. Tenses being messed up, was/were switched and many similarly jarring hiccups make it a lot harder to enjoy than it should be.
Another problem is that sometimes it doesn't show but tell. Sure, you don't want to explain already known information again but there are more elegant ways of doing so.
Another thing that made me stop reading is how we were told that
thralls
were vital, yet it wasn't properly fleshed out why. To continue in this vein,
the bond between master vampire and thrall falls flat. How he meets them happens 'off-screen' and we are never given a reason why they should actually be loyal, or rather we are given one but its like a sentence.
The whole thing is two dimensional and tedious.
I'm not trying to be harsh on the author but as this is a rewrite, he probably wants to get better and I hope it helps him because at this point I don't know why it shows up as five stars on Trending. The story isn't bad but it's far from being on the same level as the well-known 4.5 start+ stories.
TLDR:. Get a beta reader or just spend more time on polishing the chapter and take a hard look at character interactions and origins.
KyeRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
The writing style is the worst part of this novel.
I'm going to start with that, the novel is disconnected and confusing. Multiple times I have had to go back just to reread paragraphs to make sense of what is happening, the author doesn't describe the main character's surrounding at all.
And for some odd reason despite being a LITRPG, 12 chapters in and he's out leveling up, exploring his powers and investing stat points, seems fine except for the fact we haven't seen a status page ONCE.
Seriously he's been doing all of this off-screen and not once have we seen his status page for reference, or anyone else's for that matter.
Speaking of the main character, he's not that bad, he keeps his cool and he thinks fast. Although I'm only at chapter 12 at the moment of this review so that could be subject to change.
The side characters are another story however, so the main character is a Vampire and newly turned to boot.
He has a quest to turn 4 people into thralls, the leader of the Vampires gives the main character a chance to pick some for himself, he calls out the fact that it's slavery, the Vampire leader chick has a bit of a whine.
The leader of the Vampires attempts to convince him it's not [it is] and claims they chose to accept being thralls. After that, the author for some reason skips the enthralling process, which you think would be a scene you should probably leave in.
And he chooses to enthrall an orc: he comes from a long line of thralls apparently. And a drow, who stumbled upon the Vampire city and was given a choice, die or be enthralled. [See? I mean technically she had a choice but when that other choice is death it isn't really one at all is it?] The thralls are introduced at the most basic level, what their classes are and where they come from.
That's it, and it's out of nowhere they appear, it's just "I have a mission to clear spiders outside the city." and then "here I am with two thralls I didn't have a second ago."
See what I mean about the disconn
BookmanRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
I read it after all and noticed that there are some points in the original where things where sayed or pointed out that are missing here.
Yet the Characters act as if this information had been given.
Thats why on a rewrite you have to do a complet new time tabel and counter check if the thing you wrote about has the info from the new one and not the old one.
EDIT:
also this quote "This story will contain profanity, violence, cursing, sexual content, offensive language, jokes about fantasy ethnic groups (People that aren't real in other words), etc... So if you are easily offended, perhaps you should not read this story."
is the best explanation i have read so far. :)
I would have liked to add a dark humor joke about a pair of legs here and that not every one has them but that might break the review rules.