Blissfully Magical - Adventures in The Magic World

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In a small town in continents far north, a dungeon is born. And Adam’s tale with it.

A young boy, dreaming of adventure and curious beyond belief, finds his talent for magic during his coming-of-age. Adam leaves his plans of becoming an archer-adventurer, and steps on the marvellous road of magic, though, for his new dreams to come true he has to go into debt with a powerful wizard.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Disclaimer- English is not my first language and this is my first time writing.Disclaimer#2- It's my first book, comments with some help or questions are greatly appreciated.

Discord --->https://discord.gg/gT8D7FCEEj

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Platypushover

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.9/ 5.0
Followers: 79
Views: 56,924

Chapters(80 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(5)

ChtaeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
A young man from a rural town discovers magical powers and leaves to become a mage and have adventures - the premise of a lot of fantasy books, but it's a trope that never seems to get old, probably because there are always young readers who seek exactly this kind of story. I read my own share, as a teen, and loved them, so I hope this one finds it public.
I'll be generous with ratings, which I think is fair for an author's first story, written in a second language. Going category by category:
Grammar: The author is an ESL writer, and since I am, too, I know the struggle. I think he does a good job, overall, there's some inconsistency in tenses and the occasional wonky phrasing, but frankly, I've read much worse from native speakers, so 5\5, because writing in a difficult language is a serious challenge and for a first attempt, this is very good.
Style: the story reads fairly smoothly, but there are some issues (common to many beginners): there's an almost total lack of description, the narration is mostly third person limited but sometimes slips into omniscient POV, and there's an excess of exposition. Also, the author tends to give exact numbers (like "185 cm tall") in descriptions, which is quite weird an unusual, since people don't process what they see with that kind of precision. I suggest avoiding that.
Story: the boy-becomes-a-mage setup is tried and tested, and while I'm still at the beginning, I think it does a fair job with pacing - the story isn't overly rushed, but it doesn't run in circles, either. However, I think there's a problem with lack of tension: not every story must be a thriller, but so far, there's absolutely no pressure or risk for the main character. While the main character has a goal - making their own foundation technique - it's not something urgent, since there's no real time constraint. Some kind of conflict or threat would probaby help engaging the reader. 4\5
Character: honestly, the main character is pretty flat. He doesn't show an
David Niemitz (M0rph3u5)Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
First off, I love some of the ideas here about the interplay of mana with the environment and the weather. I loved that everyone got their power at once, at the beginning of the year, and that it came with a storm rolling in.
As we begin to learn about how magic works, we get this idea of environmental suppression, which seems to cool and obvious once its explained, but I can't recall seeing any other author do before.
Essentially, in a cold, northern environment, ice magic is better, while fire magic users really struggle.
These ideas really give me hope to see the relationship between magic and the world around the characters explored in more detail as we go. I have so many questions!
I see that English is not the author's first language, and I think that the prose is quite good with that in mind. Could it use a pass by an editor/proofreader? Yes, absolutely, but I don't see anything that will really drag you out of the world or make it unreadable.
I have to admit that as an American, the metric system befuddles me, but that's entirely my problem, not the author's ;)
All in all, an intriguing beginning to a world with a lot of potential for depth. Give it a shot!
SerasStreamsRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Let's talk about this.
First, the overall 'feel' of the story: It is a traditional 'fantasy' adventure that does a decent job of reeling an audience in with a concept. A young MC who starts 'blank slate' enough to let the audience self-insert, which then becomes more fleshed out over time.
Second, the language: The author states beforehand that English is not their first language. For an ESL (English as a Second Language) individual, the story is well-written. There is room for improvement, but I imagine that the sentences and the story would flow a little better in the author's native language.
Now, into the various categories.
Style: This feels very 'traditional fantasy' which, for me, is something I like to read. I get serious vibes of "Wizard of Earthsea" - but a first draft version. I think with revision and polish this could be something special. I'd suggest to the author to write the whole story, then go back and revise it from the beginning taking into account any criticisms from the comments.
Grammar: For someone who is an ESL individual, the grammar is well above the Reaching level on the ELL proficiency scale. It's easy enough to follow, with only minor 'hiccups' here and there.
Story: The story is somewhat predictable. But, it's a coming-of-age story, so that's a bit to be expected. I rated it as 4/5 because the start of the story, while engaging and easy to get into, sometimes pulls the reader out because the dialogue doesn't match the characterization of some individuals.
Character: As mentioned, the MC is a bit of a blank slate to start - intentionally so, I believe - which is fantastic if your target audience is the Young Adult bracket. For an older reader (18+) the story is not as engaging. But if you can mentally put yourself into the shoes of a 13-16-year-old who is discovering the wonders of the Fantasy genre? You'll love it.
Final thoughts: I found it to be a pleasant read that kept my attention throughout the text. I believe that with polish th
AnthonyNunezTVORoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
So after reading this for some time, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a hidden gem. There’s so many books like this that have little to no recognition and I really hope the author here gets the recognition they deserve!! Keep up the good work!
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V.K ShahRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The Author does a good job at mixing various fantasy story elements along with their world-building.
Grammar
English isn't their first language, but the author does a very respectable job at sentence construction and grammar. Some typos here and there but nothing too major. Though the story could benefit from a software like Grammarly or ProWritingAid.
Story
The book could use a bit more tension in the initial chapters but overall delivers on what it sets out as a progression power fantasy story.
Character
Characters are unique with varying personalities, I'd like to see more moments when these characters are tested and have to go through character development and adversity
Overall
A good number of chapters and pages, you can tell the author enjoys the work they put in and keeps a consistent release schedule every week.
Keep up the good work, I know you can do it!
Every author knows that writing isn't easy. Sharing your work with others is scary and you never know what someone might say or comment on. We put our hearts down on paper and hope that someone somewhere will enjoy it enough to give it a read. All I can say to the author is keep your goals and never look back!