Beyond The Primordials

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

When Yin Hui was born, the heavens trembled. Out of fear, the primordial gods crippled his clan and himself, stripping them of their ability to cultivate.

Rendered powerless, his clan was driven to near extinction and Yin Hui was condemned to a life of slavery. After 15 years of torturous servitude, he encounters a stroke of fortune that would change his fate forever, bestowing upon him an alternate method of cultivating.

With a new lease on life, he exacts vengeance against all who have wronged him, and strives to ascend beyond the primordials!

"To those who have wronged me beware! To those who will wrong me in the future beware! I, Yin Hui, swear to pay back any and all grudges in full!"

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Communication

Discord Server: https://discord.gg/7BaHbe2

Discord: Wayward Scholar#6193

Email:[email protected]

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2019
Author: Wayward Scholar

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.6/ 5.0
Followers: 49
Views: 45,234

Chapters(55 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(2)

WinterwispRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
This applies as far as chapter 8
The story begins in a very classical xianxia format, with an oppressed MC who's scraping the bottom of the social hierachy. Through luck and a bit of fate, he gets a chance to grow strong and we are introduced to the power structure of the world. Though much of it is standard, I was curious to find a slight twist to the powers available to the higher stages of cultivation that I had not seen before - good stuff!
As a foundation for a story, this is very solid and has good potential. While the explanation of the stages of cultivation can be a bit rough to get through, this is a general issue with the genre, so I can't really fault the author for that.
Spelling is excellent, syntax is in good order for the most parts, and it is generally a good technical read. A few missing commas doesn't ruin the story, but it could be improved greatly with an eye out for subordinate clauses.
All in all, since the MC has only just gotten his powers as of this writing, I am looking forward to see how he will progress, what choices he makes, and especially to see what happens with that cliffhanger at the end of chapter 8!
Tana NariRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
As appears to be the typical fair for 'cultivation' type stories, everyone except the MC (and those that idolize the MC) are arrogant douches. The MC is also an arrogant douche, but the story gives him a pass at it because he's the MC.
The writer doesn't even bother to show that behavior, he just says it outright. People "walk with arrogance" and "speak with fanaticism" or "threw a huge tantrum." To quote Futurama's Robot Devil:
"Your writing lacks subtlety! You can't just say what people are feeling! That makes me angry!"
Okay, most of it's not as bad as Fry's writing, but there's a wide gulf between 'not Fry' and 'good'.
Typos are also common, with more than one failure to get your/you're correct. Per chapter. Something his commentors have pointed out more than once, but he's chosen not to fix. In addition, I think pluralization in the writing uses apostrophe-s more often than it gets it right.
And, as part and parcel of this sort of story, the MC starts out really weak, then gets the super-OP-"it's super risky to use but it's really not because Plot Armor" treatment that always seems to crop up. At no point does it seem like the MC earns (or for that matter learns) a single thing. His only motives are 'eat souls, gain power, get revenge.'
Same deal with the MC's stupid, stupid, decision-making process. It's about the only thing which causes any plot to happen... MC does a dumb, then has to be saved from dumb by whatever deus-ex-machina toy gets dropped in his lap at the time.
Rinse. Repeat.
And the other characters? Either are complete jackasses who have no purpose but to be hated by the MC... or are complete suckups who exist only advance the MC, in spite of the fact that he clearly doesn't deserve anything but contempt and hatred from every decent being in the universe. The "love interest" character is both. Which still makes her more complex than all the other characters combined.
This dude goes around stealing power by eating souls. Frankly, he'd make for a m