Beyond Death:Monster
Community Rating
Description
Are monsters made?Are they born?Who knows!Our MC is a man who views himself as a monster.An irredeemable villain.His goal:Becoming someone who can be called a hero.After his death by a ridiculous reason he is reborn.He always dreamed of being a hero.So he instead of a monster tries to become the hero in the novel he read long ago.How he does this:He tries to impersonate him./////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////From prologue to chapter 4 is a 5 chapter long prologue.I did not have the patience to write them all at once.////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////I have read many fictions and novels and decided to write my own.It is my first time writing and I would like to write better.So I welcome all constructive critique and advice.I shall try to improve!
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2015
- Author
- Lazinground
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 3.8/ 5.0
- Followers
- 56
- Views
- 11,454
Chapters(5 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(2)
- Forgiv3n324Royal Road★★★ 3.0I like the main plot if there is at the moment (only 5 chp out atm), but the way you write is very frustrating.
You have paragraphs of just random information filling in big holes but leaving the small holes unfilled and it’s very patchwork like. It’s a major turn off to me cause you hardly explained how he is the first son of an emperor if there is ALREADY a CROWN prince?! So how is he FIRST when there was someone BEFORE him?! explain this please cause you didn’t and then you just moved on like it was self explanatory this is what I meant by you fill in the “big” gaps of information but leave out all the “small” things the details the crux of the mater.
I like the story, but all in all it’s a written very sub-par and could be a lot better
Also the only way I can think of to help fix the problem of how you only fill in the big holes but leave the small ones is to add spacing in your paragraphs so you can see what you have and haven’t written and explain further if needed.
Your characters besides the MC and old man are all but paper like. they have little to no existence the siblings he has don’t even get a name, his parents aren’t even given a chance to love him if they were going to. (since you made it out to be like they’re power hungry). but even if they weren’t going to be the best parents doesn’t mean the old man should just kidnap him. Anyways what I’m trying to say is that most of your characters don’t even get names let alone feelings.
How to fix that have them talk more, show a POV of theirs if there going to be relevant to the story how does his father and mother view the old man taking their child away? How does the fabled Crown Prince feel about all this? Will his aunt ever get a name? These kind of things ad depth to the characters and make the story more enjoyable.
I hope this helps you more then it demoralizes you cause I don’t want you to stop writing I just hope you get better at it. (sounds a bit harsh, but meh~ take it as you will) - SlaggedfireRoyal Road★★★ 3.0Don't take my personal weird opinion as fact but when the MC is reborn and doesn't get to hang out with his family I lose almost all interest. What he basically did is make the MC like centuries old or something and then he could not stay with his family because politics etc