Beneath the Hidden Moon. [Action, Supernatural, mystery]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

High school student Kiara Meitner is a part of the secret organization of Wardens who exist to protect the world of the living from the supernatural. Her relatively normal life is thrust upside down as her soul becomes bound to Evander, the living incarnation of war. Together they will be thrust into a conspiracy that challenges Kiara's beliefs. There are those who work in the shadows- who will challenge Kiara in ways she never imagined.

As she rises higher up the system, she must decide whether her humanity is her greatest asset or her biggest weakness. Everything she once knew will soon come to question.

As the scales of justice tip, only one side of the conflict can ultimately survive. Will she defend her beliefs or will she let the revelations change the course of her fate forever.

What to expect:

--intense political intrigue.

--High stakes action and strategy

--Complex moral themes

-- Generational consequences

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2025
Author: MrtypicalAsian

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.2/ 5.0
Followers: 55
Views: 17,237

Chapters(67 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(9)

A. A. HarrisRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story feels as if I'm reading a novelization of an anime, or perhaps watching an anime inside of my own head as the words drift through my mind. Sympathetic, bubbly main character, straightforward dialogue, over the top action, sword fighting against monsters... It all feels very shonen!
The main character is clearly the very special character who seems below average at first, like Naruto; the monsters are a bit reminiscent of the Hollows from Bleach so far; and the strict hierarchy reminds me of the Soul Society, also from Bleach. This story stands out and does all of these things in a unique way, but it does feel like it fits well within that genre. Even the cover hints that this story is anime.
As for characters, the protagonist and her grandfather seem very likable. We're getting some good intrigue about secondary characters (and what looks like a pretty overt meet-cute, with a man and a woman literally bumping into each other, one of them is a jerk, and the other one notes how attractive the jerk is; classic), although the information and development for the secondary characters is coming as a sort of drip-feed at this early stage. The world-building for this magical setting is probably the single factor that's received the largest share of the author's attention so far.
There's a lot to like in the bones of this story.
However, there is one non-negligible issue in the style and grammar. The story definitely needs some polish in that regard. I think it mainly comes down to grammar. Tense agreement is a killer issue for me when it's not done right. In this case, there are a lot of moments, particularly in early chapters, where the author jumps back and forth in mid-paragraph and even mid-sentence between present and past tense. There are also a few awkward bits of descriptive prose. If you can see your way to reading around that, though, or if the author revises that a bit (a good copy editor could smooth all this out easily), the underlying story looks rea
AddictednovelicRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Style- I see no issue. The author tells what is happening through the words. It is very vivid.
Story- Once more, I have no problem with it. It's a very intriguing read. The Temple, The Elusive's, The Ascendant, etc, it is very well thought out. Due to this, it complements the world it is placed in. If this makes sense, it makes it bigger than it seems, which is not bad bad from my point of view. It only makes you want to read more. Also, the katanas is a nice touch. It only enhances the reading experience.
Grammar-So far, it is pretty solid. I have found hardly any mistakes. Everything seems pretty consistent.
Character- Kiara, the main character is a very likable person. Her personality is bright. Edward and the others isn't bad either. I can see their roles is critical in the novel.
Without a doubt, I would highly recommend to read this novel. If you want to read a urban, supernatural novel, this is one definitely to read. I promise you will not be disappointed.
Anyway, keep up the good work, you have my support, these are all my heartfelt words. Hope your weekend goes well.
RayfieldRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story is pretty intresting seing as you most of the time don't get a setting in the modern world.
The story reminds me of jjk with it's setting. It's style is also pretty cool beacause instead of first-person you get third-person which is done really well.
There are zero grammar mistakes which is good. The characters are also average but i'm sure they will get better with time
My favorit duo in this story is the sibling duo beacause there banter is unmatched like real siblings.
The story is only starting so i'm exited for the rest of the story.
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Have i reached 200 words yet?
chairman43Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This story overall is a 4.5:
As a casual read, you can tell that this story has a lot going for it and is planning to be long term story and not going to be a generic. It's world building reminds me a lot of Bleach and Jujutsu Kaisen with characters with strong thematic themes and strong character moments. The concept of Wardens, spirit-bound companions, and cursed spirits and Kiara's emotional arc is honestly fire and it isn't afraid to change the structure and style of the story depending of the arc.
The current third arc takes a drastic different tone with assassins, action, and a complete overhaul of what we knew before. The new villain group is completely insane and full of personality. My favorite is Hanger for his dark humor and joyful personality and that he is a cannibal.
However there is a lot of issues with the grammar and the structure can be a bit heavy handed and struggle with long sentences. Conversations can go much longer than they should be. Show more, tell less. Show us more of Kiara's emotional journey instead of other characters and the world explaining it for her.
Keep going as there is some potential to this story.
SoLiDsNaKEXLRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall: 4.3 / 5
As a fellow Bleach fan and still loves stories with that blend of supernatural action, personal trauma, and secret power structures, Beneath the Hidden Moon hits a lot of the right notes for me.
The concept is honestly fire. Wardens, spirit-bound companions, layers of mystery, and Kiara’s emotional core all have serious potential. The worldbuilding feels like it’s aiming for something big and long-running, which I respect. You’re setting up conspiracies, family drama, spiritual powers, and identity all at once—just like Bleach did with Soul Society and Ichigo’s heritage.
But like Bleach early on, the story sometimes overloads itself trying to do too much at once.
Here’s where I think you can level up
Show more, tell less. A lot of scenes explain emotions or backstory instead of letting us feel it through action, silence, or small character choices. Trust the reader more we’ll pick it up 😄.
Dialogue pacing
Sometimes conversations go on longer than they need to, or characters over-explain things they already feel. Trimming them down will help scenes land harder and faster.
Balance the cast
Kiara’s internal conflict is compelling, but sometimes other characters talk about her arc instead of letting her show it herself. Give her more space to own her growth.
Polish the prose
The grammar is mostly fine, but the sentence structure can get heavy. A tighter edit would help clean up phrasing and give the strong moments more impact.
That said, I do see the ambition here. You’re not writing some throwaway action serial—you’re clearly aiming for a long game, with lore and emotion tied together. And that’s something worth praising.
Honestly? I’d rather read a story that swings big—even if it misses sometimes—than something safe and forgettable. You’re swinging big, and I respect that.
Keep going. Tighten the execution, let your characters breathe, and don’t be afraid to revise as you improve. You’ve got something cool here—and I’ll be around to see how it evolve
VeynoirRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
So I got up to chapter 9 of Beneath the Hidden Moon, and I got to say that the world the author wrote is very immersive, and it was very easy for me to get into it. Well, it might be a bias, but it also kind of made me think of Bleach in a way with the Monarchs and stuff that made me think of Hollows in very early Bleach.
The story seems intriguing, a lot of mystery concerning how this world works, how the charcters will get stronger. We already have some shady people within the Temple. I am genuinely intrigued to see what comes next, and the pacing is good. I like that it started somewhat slower to introduce us to the main character and her relationship with her Grandfather, Edward. We also get introduced to a bunch of other students and members of the Temple as well. Which makes me think that there will be a lot of character arcs. Kiara is an interesting character who seems eager to know more about this world that her granddad kept from her for so long.
The style is pretty great, I don't think I had any problems with it. If I had one nttpick is maybe try to express how the character feels rather than tell us, this could deepen the immersion. The reason I didn't take points off is maybe this changes later on as well.
The grammar also doesn't have anything off-putting there, so good job!
Finally, the characters, so far they seem very distinct and their voices can be differentiated from one another and seem to each have their own different goals and personalities.
I enjoyed my read and am sure if you give it a try, you will too!
JWoodrellRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall 4.5:
As a casual read, this story has a lot going for it, worldbuilding that's halfway between Bleach and X-Men, characters with actual internal dilemmas, and a strong thematic current of power, control, and manipulation. The pacing isn’t shy about pushing dramatic tension, and the setting feels like it’s perpetually on the edge of a serious conspiracy. That said, it's a bit overstuffed: a flood of characters, lore drops, and internal monologues sometimes trip over each other like too many actors jostling for center stage.
From a writing standpoint, there’s ambition and heart, but also a lot of repetition and excess fat. Dialogue stretches long past its point, scenes get crowded with too many ideas at once, and characters veer toward archetypes (the calculating mentor, the power-hungry authority figure) without enough grounding. Kiara's arc is compelling in concept but weighed down by exposition and others explaining her feelings for her. You want her to break through, but the story keeps breaking in before she can.
Style – Rating: 4.0
The writing has bursts of clarity and some solid emotional cues, but they’re buried under overused phrases and a lack of editing. Sentence structure often leans overwrought, like it's trying to wring epic meaning out of every line. There's a constant sense of telling, not showing, characters monologue about stakes that could be better conveyed through action. The pacing of individual paragraphs also needs trimming; every moment tries to be the climax, and the result is emotional fatigue.
Story – Rating: 4.5
The bones of the plot are very solid: secret histories, power hierarchies, murky loyalties, and tests that are clearly more about politics than merit. There’s a real sense of rising stakes and narrative tension. Still, it occasionally suffers from tonal inconsistency. The power levels, especially, fluctuate wildly between scenes, one minute Kiara’s barely scraping by, the next she’s pulling A+ scores that everyone side-eyes
OutLawGamerRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Beneath the Hidden Moon is a really good premise, blending the Fantasy/Supernatural Elements most of us have all come to love. However, it does suffer quite a bit in a few areas in my opinion.
Style:
The Style the author has for the story has got to be the worst thing about it. The 3rd Person Omniscient is great, but the timeskips, scene transitions, and mostly the perspective changes is done in a really confusing way. There were many times I lost track of what was going on or who was speaking, leading me to re-read the passage. Prime example is the very first chapter: it starts with the main character going up against what seems to be a life or death situation, then...a 12 year flashback? This HEAVILY broke both the immersion and flow. However, it's not all bad though, especially considering the fact I can SEE what the author is TRYING to accomplish. If they can do it right, it could do wonders for the fiction's start!
Story:
I don't really have anything to say about the story, negative wise. The premise is familiar, the threat is clear, and you can reliably infer what's going to happen next while also being surprised by what the author comes up with. I like stuff like that! it also reminds me of Bleach.
Character:
The characters are nice and nuanced, but far from the best. However, I feel like the characters suffer more from the Style rather than the writing that goes into their character, if that makes sense. Improve the Style, and your characters will "pop" more, feel more real.
Grammar:
Their were alot of misspellings, missing/wrong punctuation, and just overall odd word choice. However, I could still at least see what the author was trying to convey. So, it's nothing that a good edit/overhaul won't fix!
Overall, if the author just goes back and give the book a good amount of polish, it would not only have an amazing start, but also the story would just benefit ALOT since it's clear it has immense potential!
4 Stars in the end.
SeptimundRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
I like it to be honest. The school vibe and the hints of world building like mentions of wardens and other supernatural beings are cool. I could say i like your idea of the story.
It's clear this story is gonna be a generic not some basic you'd read everyday, it's not a regular, boring story. Though some fights are chaotic and hard to picture and there's some repititve phrases but that's in a lot of stories but I feel like it needs smoother tone transitions and clearer stakes, don't get me wrong. I've just read the first few chapters.
Overall, I like it