Before the Fall

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A hero rises from the ashes of a ruined land, journeying to defeat the one who brought such misery. But when he succeeds and ends the Dark Lord's reign of terror, what then is left for the man who dedicated his life to such a singular pursuit? What can he do once his nemesis is returned to dust? What happens before the fall is oft sung of in tales new and old, but what happens after comes in hushed whispers, if at all.

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2019
Author: Chaos_is_Harmony

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 5.0/ 5.0
Followers: 3
Views: 4,072

Chapters(20 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(5)

AlexusRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It's brilliant and only 9 pages, so go read it already.
There's a lack of imagery in places, I have a great idea of the Dark Lord but not so much anything else. Further, the timespan of the story is massive and the shortness of the story makes that hard to appreciate. Not sure how to fix that if you're committed to the 3 pages a chapter and just 3 chapters format but perhaps less focus on the specefics and more on the generalities of his life?
Apollo149Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Before the Fall by Fragmented Notes is a pretty fun read. There is lots of worldbuilding, character development and action. The basic idea: Baz and Daymin are angel-blooded right from the start. The first chapter was written well with them training since birth to serve a vengeful Goddess. Our heroes are living a life of solitude and isolation and only having the other to rely on.
I love everything about these starting chapters such as the relationship between Baz and Daymin. Their relationship feels very organic and appropriately sweet. Whether they're gay or just best friends you can feel something deep and meaningful in their bonded friendship. I look forward to learning more about their relationship in future chapters. Whether or not one of them passes on quickly.
Side note: I'm also utterly curious about any ladies of vengeance. What might be lurking around? How are they going to play out?! Great work Fragmented and I look forward to reading more!
The characters are fantastic and I found them to be so endearing. The characters are well-developed and multi-dimensional. The Fragmented has each character with their own unique background, motivations, and personality. The character arcs are compelling and add depth to the story, making the characters feel real and relatable
This story has other characters besides Baz and Daymin. I can’t forget them. The story is only told from two points of view. Daymin and Nik’s perspective is in alternating chapters, with the occasional interlude from the frame story character. Side, Side note: Nik is a slacker of a Druid takes the killer under his wing and shows him a life of peace.
Grammar: Some minor mistakes, but nothing too egregious that makes the story unreadable. The writing style could use a round of editing to pick out these minor errors will do wonders for the story but for the most part ok. I could be better with my grammar. For me, fine.
Overall the story is a fun read, and it lays the groundwork for an interesting pr
B. A. Baker (Thedude3445)Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The author asked for reviews on the basis of writing style, so I will center my review around that. The story is very simple--it's about what happens to a hero after emerging victorious--and so there isn't much to say there.
The writing, because it's in the form of a nine-page short story, has got a consistent issue. The syntax is nice and varied. The vocabulary's got a lot of big words. There could be more rhythm to each line, but it's not boring. But the imagery? The sensory detail? It ain't really here. The story takes place over a long time, and takes a distant approach to narrating its protagonist, so it needs absolutely vivid detail to grab us and pull us into the character's story, and that's a little lacking here.
This line is an example of the kind of writing that is common in this short story:
"The flame blossoms into a very familiar, all-consuming conflagration, filling the void to its very edges. For in the end, the actions of the sword share the same results in spite of their intent."
Does that give you any image that pops into your head? It doesn't for me! It's some nice wordplay, but I can't picture anything, I can't feel anything. And thus, I can't really get a sense of what the character is going through or why he does what he does.
So while the story was interesting, the prose itself didn't sell me on it and I wasn't able to get much out of it. I would suggest to the author to read a lot more modern free-verse poetry, where concrete imagery is vital. Also maybe my friend wrote on diction and emphasis on a line-by-line basis.
Since the story's really short, you ought to check it out for yourself anyway. Support short story writers!
MK bk-201Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A well written typical short story about a hero defeat the Dark Lord's reign of terror, expect, what can you do when the world is at peace and you know nothing but to fight the forces of evil?, when all the things you try to do dont even show a modicum of success?, when people who claimored your name and beeged you for help, people whose lifes you have saved dont even give you a chance, much less a second glance?, well... you start to understand each story has two sides, and maybe there is a reason a person could be so sick of the world, at how they enjoy what they got with the sacrifice of others without caring abour them, that they think they should get just a little taste of how bitter it was to be used as a tool and discarted when the job was done.
PD: its kind of predictable?, yes
Does it seem a little cliche, yes
Do i ever get tired of quickly people turn when you have done something for them, and how selfish people are?, Hell no
Does it check every of my boxes?, Hell, yes
Give it a read its only 9 pages.
RznRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
The author gives away the plot right in the beginning and from there it is all about it being predictable and sadly shallow. It goes beyond any foreshadowing and makes it obvious of the setting right from the get-go. On top of that the writing is simple, but in doing so it takes the energy out that remained in the prose. We are left with the details that are not able to sell the world to us and the Deus's railroading (not the author) having made it all clear with the opening narration. The piece is unfortunately hampered by this choice and how the plot must bend to it.