Ars Magica
Community Rating
Description
Our vision comes back into focus. Our eyes, while being able to perceive the immediate surroundings, still leave us with our minds uncomprehending towards what is actually occurring. Sure, there are definitive things that we can focus on, like the fact that we're either out upon the open sea or the open ocean, there not being much of a difference with no land in sight, as well as the fact that we appear to be upon a haphazardly constructed metal boat, whose seams are barely able to keep a hold of themselves in the crashing waves.
However, that does not let us understand what exactly is causing the waves in the first place. If we were to rewind time, we'd find ourselves upon a calm sea under a peaceful sky with the only difference, being a small whirlpool that would be the precursor towards this uproar around the boat. Lightning flashes in the sky, with no clouds being near, and anyone actually manning the boat has either died towards the cause of the smashing tides in the first place, or are fighting amongst the flashes of lightning, all while trying not to become devoured, demolished, and utterly decimated by the beast roiling in the whirling waves.
To better understand exactly what is happening here, there is one singular event that needs to be understood, that needs to be explained, and that is the arrival of a creature named Dave.
Stepping back from current events and going towards this creature's first appearance in the world, we begin to hear the sound of water slowly dripping across rocky ground. The cavern is utterly silent except for this one constant, its cause feeding channels downwards, sloping towards cracks in the rubble along the floor from broken stalagmites and stalactites. And there, lying on top of something which had fallen over recently, judging from its cracks, is a person, the creature named Dave. His form is fast asleep, either from the impact or from an intoxication, judging from the smell upon its breath. A bright light suffuses into it for a second, giving life towards the pale skin, before it slowly dies down back to the comfortable black of the cave that it's within.
Before this moment in time, Dave did not exist in the physical world. At least, not in the reality that he finds himself born into. We do not know whether or not his existence is simply a cosmic joke, or something that is being played out on purpose. All that we do know, is that one moment, the body was not in the cave, and simply formed in the next. The actual earliest time that we know Dave exists, is the interpolation of the memories of J-209, which we'll begin looking into shortly to gain context towards the coming narrative that is being written and hastily trying to keep itself written.
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Warning: This story has several things which might turn its readers away. The first is that this story has shifting points of perspective. Don't worry about that previous sentence too much though, as the main character will always have a first person perspective associated with them. However, any other character from which we're viewing the story from will either be in third-person, as we are not necessarily in their shoes at the moment, or in first person, given that the narrator is an actual physical presence within the story. For the most part, chapters will be self-contained with their perspectives, so there will not be an abundance of switching perspectives within the same chapter. The most that an average reader would have to worry about is the fact that perspectives can switch between chapters. The second thing is that the main character is a bit on the 'special' side of things. He's not exactly mentally there most of the time, so there will be some times that his personality or his thoughts do not actively align with his actions. The third, and final thing of importance, is the fact that past the first couple of chapters, nothing has been planned in advance. There are arcs and plots that I want to do, want to implement, or have already been set into motion from our main character's introduction to the world, but the method that I use for my story writing and generating leads towards a bit more random chance being enabled. Basically...there's a lot of dice rolling behind the scenes. To not complicate the story further than its regular LitRPG elements, the rolls will not be publicly available. However, there will be knowledge within the author's notes on whether or not there were positive or negative critical rolls that had occurred within the chapter. You have been warned.
Updates: Mondays & Fridays (Schedule permitting)
Typical Chapter Length: (2,000-3,000)
Information
- Status
- Cancelled
- Year
- 2022
- Author
- AvidSeason
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.1/ 5.0
- Followers
- 174
- Views
- 55,560
Chapters(36 total)
- Arc 3 (Township): Chapter 1Jun 3, 2022
- Arc ?: Side Chapter 2May 30, 2022
- Arc ?: Side Chapter 1May 27, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 18 (Finale)May 16, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 17May 13, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 16May 9, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 15May 6, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 14May 2, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 13Apr 26, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 12Mar 25, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 11Mar 21, 2022
- Arc 2: Side Chapter 2Mar 18, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 10Mar 14, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 9Mar 11, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 8Mar 7, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 7Mar 4, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 6Jan 31, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 5Jan 28, 2022
- Arc 2: Side Chapter 1Jan 24, 2022
- Arc 2: Chapter 4Jan 21, 2022
Reviews
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Community Reviews(3)
- DragoonMk3Royal Road★★★★★ 4.5I loved this story and it was one of my earliest forays into HFY storytelling... I just hope the author is ok and returns. 😅
I found the characters fun. the world intriguing and full of potential.
I always kinda feel empty when a story I really like becomes abandoned...
Anyway. All that is to say that the author has hooked me in and I hope I see the story continue on. Plz be ok, author. - Blooded WindigoRoyal Road★★★ 2.5I like the story, the long explanation and mechanic building makes sense, but also seem unnecessary. But that what draw me to the story. The mc is so caught up with himself and the chaos around him that the only thing that makes sense in this world is that he is alone. The gods and the system are very realistic in the fence that it's always fucked. Like, the system itself is trying to adapted to mc as much as he is to the system. The main thing that gets me is the apathy, or uncaring attitude that some of the character have. There disposition don't really make sense to me, at least the Kojo has a reason for his disposition, and the mc seems to have already been through tragedy and trauma, so as much as the world doesn't make sense to him, he still moves forward.
- FolemaethRoyal Road★ 1.0I don't like to rate stories as bad but this one is. English is not my native language, so I don't notice limited vocabulary unless it is that glaring. I don't know if that is intentional or not but the work resembles the unfiltered recording of author's imagination instead of an actual story. The view jumps from first-person to third, thought-process is not divided from actions and the main character jumps from cold-blooded killer to scaredy cat to self-sacrificing hero in a matter of minutes without any inner work leading to it.
But this in itself would not justify this rating. The worst part is the unceasing rambling: a simple message can be stretched out to a 200-300 words long paragraph, whole pages can be nothing but a thought that repeats again and again (sometimes over different chapters) and lead to no character or plot development.
And the icing on the cake - lackluster overview. Looking at overview I want to know what the story will be about, what will it's genre and setting be, who will be the main character(s). I don't want to see a chapter 0.5. So, as I don't know what the story will be, I son't have enough patience to wait for it to become good: it may be, but I would never know.
TL;DR: It is not a story, but a raw draft. It needs to be heavily edited and cut in half before it can become not only readable but enjoyable.