Armageddon Online - Escape

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Sean Cullers is the leader of the elite raiding guild the Misfits in a VRMMO, Champions. Craig Tiel, their eccentric billionaire boss has hired them to test out a new Reality Controlling game - Armageddon Online (AO).Things go unexpected wrong when Aeon, AO's AI, malfunctions. Aeon, now merged with a rogue AI, transforms the world into a hellscape from humanity's worst imagination.To get through this, Sean must deal with his own demons even as his team struggles to survive. Fortunately, the Misfits are not only top players, but also close friends. Sean will need every bit of their support to find their missing employer and stop the rampage of a former guild member now under the control of Aeon.

New chapters daily.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2017
Author: lordtedders

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.0/ 5.0
Followers: 58
Views: 78,824

Reviews

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Community Reviews(2)

the12winRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So far the characters are all very relatable in one way or another and rather than having the story be motivated by action sequences it is driven by the relationships between all the characters and how they react to a cold robotic world.
The plot is very thought out and leaves no loose ends. However at the time of writing this the story has a very slow progession and focusess on charachter development and setting the worlds senery, rather than giving us the action promised in the summery.
But if you love the slow burn plot, the execive amount of gamer slang, and semi-personale pole question, then I highly recomend this novel.
YungRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
I'll breakdown each section of my advanced review for you.
Style:
Overall your style I have struggled with in reading your story. I feel like you're constantly telling and hardly ever showing what's happening. The first 6 chapters are pretty consistent with an information dump.
Story:
The story itself has some merit but it's chapter 8/9 before we actually get to any story besides the spoiled brat divorcing her husband. Everything up to this was essentially backlog and buildup. It'd be better if there was more of what was currently happening as you were introducing the other characters.
Grammar:
Okay, so there is a lot wrong with the grammar and it's clear that this was a first draft. Even with a first draft you HAVE to re-read it and make basic changes. I can tell that you sit down, write dump, then publish. Take some time to review your own work. You have a ton of run-on sentences, paragraphs containing 40+ sentences, mispelled words, incorrect syntax, and in some cases using the incorrect spelling of a word given context. If you correct these issues I'll edit my review.
Character:
This is the first thing that you do a really great job handling. You take the time to flesh out your main characters, give them all intertwining backstories, and proceed with character development. They have flaws, real issues, and it's refreshing to see how human they all can be. Tim is the only one I'd like to see more character development out of at this point. The only thing distasteful about this was Laura's portrayal in chapter 6. Dr. Tiel isn't this bad or unbased individual that you seem to be trying to force on the reader. His line of thoughts seem perfectly sound and instead it is Laura who I feel is in the wrong. I know that isn't what you were going for but logically speaking Dr. Tiel isn't the bad guy in chapter 6, nor does he come across ignorant nor arrogant.
Overall:
I like the overall theme of your story but the writing itself needs some improvement. First drafts are gre