Apollyon's Curse

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Eldridge, a wanderer across realms, pieced together the delicate balance between immortality as a both a blessing and a curse. Unwilling to accept this, he distorted his own path, leading to his unexpected transformation into a Cursed Artifact.

With an end to the prologue that was his human existence, he accepted a new identity: Apollyon. As he ascended, countless souls were melted and recast, but his new form still had shackles of its own, and they demanded payment.

It was a good thing, then, that mortals often sacrificed themselves for a myriad of petty reasons. Apollyon needed them to bear the great karma of his Path towards[Detachment]- the only true unfettered immortality he recognized.

As the choices of Apollyon’s wielders reshaped the destinies of those around them, so too did the cursed artifact they accepted affect them. Only, could they bear this pact and accomplish their wishes before the weight of the curse became too much?

Expanded Synopsis:Within the pages of folklore and fantasy, tales of people who chased after immortality rarely endedwith happy endings. They either came to terms with their limitations, gave up, and returned to a life of mundanity or faced a ghastly realization of their wishes. The latter was often the worse fate, as they came to realize, only far too late, that what they sacrificed was worth far more than the time they gained.

Ultimately, the common thread in all these stories was that “immortality is as much a curse as it is a blessing”. Time and again, people either realized this early and turned back, or pressed forward, doomed to inevitably face the consequences of their choice.

Throughout Eldridge’s travels across countless worlds, nothing had contradicted thissayingyet. Every pathway had shackles of its own. To ambitious mortals on the ground, they brought the skies high above down to the earth, leveling the playing field. With luck and determination, they too could become the heaven others looked up to. And, with time, they too would be replaced. After all, what fun was a game if the pieces stayed stagnant over the eons?

It was thanks to this fundamental, foundational law that the determined few were able to defy their fate and achieve immortality for themselves.

Eldridge’s path didn’tbreak this trend. In fact, his shackles were more binding and restrictive than most. However, he didn’t see it that way.

On the day of his ascension, a world’s worth of souls were melted and recast. On that day, the human’s path had reached its conclusion, its feeble form remolded into a Cursed Artifact, cursed by the resentment of a world. All of this, however, was secondary to the fact that his plan had succeeded. An artifact, a weapon, was eternal, after all.

As for the curse? The payment will be made, as it must. So why not offload it to someone else? Mortals threw their lives away for all manner of petty reasons, noble or otherwise, especially in times of desperation.

Someone would eventually be willing to foot the bill. Most would, if given the chance. The bait was far too tempting, after all. Power, status, knowledge - all were at their fingertips, if only they said “yes”. Though their meager life alone might not have been enough to bear the weight of all those shackles, what were mortals if not numerous?

Apollyon was very willing to help any lost souls; his kindness and generosity knew no bounds. His help extended to anyone or anything, rich or poor, weak or strong. It did not matter. Well, if they sacrificed everything of theirs in return just as generously, of course.

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2021
Author: MAZ

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 43
Views: 11,432

Chapters(9 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(6)

Herald Of ChaosRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A very promising story. The premise is good and it's apparent that the author has put a lot of effort into this. There are some good aspects to the chapters I've read so far and some things that need improvement.
Style: It's kinda okyish for the most part. I feel like there is a lot of telling going on and although it's not necessarily a bad thing it might be off-putting to some readers, especially on the first chapter. The story is great and the author has given a lot of information about the premise and the world. All in all, with a bit of improvement in flow and pacing it'll be much better.
Story: By far the best aspect of it. The starting point is good and i like the reminder i see at every chapters. it gives a sense of urgency and makes the read more immersive. If you like descriptive style of writing then you'll definitely love this.
Grammar: No issues here, 5/5
Character: They are well-written and so far the story behind them is well thought out. That being said, the transition and the scenes could be improved. Mc is unique and I look forward to what he does from now on.
M.G DriverRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
If you're looking for a deep dive fantasy LitRPG - this is it. Straight to the core of the world rules and world building, fleshing out the system, environment and worlds in the multiverse.
By following a 'cursed' living weapon around, it makes for interesting and dynamic short stories along the way. There's not a lot of chapters as of now, but already the story has molded into something both grim and heavy.
If you love hard worldbuilding with detailed clear exposition and an intriguing plot that hooks you, read it right away.
Style:
Writing style is clean, consistent. I think my only major gripe is that the stats are not show in the usual blue box that I've been accustomed too, though that's a personal opinion.
There's a very very small tendency to go off the rails and explain something that doesn't really add anything to the story. Sure it's lore and background information, but it did not really relate to what the current character is thinking about or where he currently is.
Story:
I really, really think that the prologue should be completely removed, with the story starting in Chapter 6 instead. It makes for a more high-tension scene. I then believe that the backstory in the prologue can be dripped out over time through the story in later chapters That's just my personal opinion, and it might sound like a super cookie-cutter storyline to do so. However, I also think it is the most effective.
Otherwise, in terms of world structure, rules, system and abilities, the limitations are pretty clear - we already see in the prologue how far Eldridge can go and where he was forced to stop. The entire narration about the concept of immortality makes for an extremely intriguign introspective piece as well.
Grammar:
Perfect 5/5, didn't spot any major or minor flaws.
Character:
As of now, I believe Eldridge is the MC so I'll base my score off him.
I really like how much time was put into detailing his long and old age, and how he truly felt about it. Guilt and remorse are but
Mir_HeleverRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A bombastic story!
How bombastic you ask? Bombastic enough to blow off a world
*Not supposed to give spoilers - Sighs in resignation.
Where do I start with? First and foremost, the writing is phenomenal. I am in awe and admiration for the subtle descriptiveness. There are no issues with the grammar and wording, too. So you don’t have to worry about starting the story and stumbling upon inconsistencies and inconclusive patterns.
The story might seem a bit too complex, and it is - it is complex. And so what? You are [Blessed] to have this story as it is. This novel is an epitome of what a system subgenre can achieve. Either enjoy it, or scram and read your average korean solo-leveling copycat chatgpted crap. Ptfu.
The starting chapters delve into the properties of deities and their struggles, the worldly affairs, and both the philosophical and psychological inquiries into both self and the world. There is an agonizing yet required choice of either ascending further toward godhood or taking a step back and preserving your humanity.
Eldridge, as ambitious as he is, is not an ambiguous character. He has an indomitable will to achieve whatever he desires. But of course, complications happen and now - he is trapped inside a negative 25 luck stat artifact. His life lies in the hands of others as he has to find a dependable owner.
He is also stripped of all of his powers, or is he?
Go find out.
PizzaPizzaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Alright, I'm going to jump straight into it here. The story is fantastic once you get into it, but I will talk about some issues that need to be ironed out. Most pressing of which, is the character section.
Character: Elridge von Hastur is the main character of Apollyon's Curse. He is a ten-thousand year old, multiversal man who's attained such a height of arcane understanding that he can scarcely be called human anymore. Elridge has extended his lifespan virtually indefinitely with his knowledge, but he is not yet truly immortal and transcendent.
Apollyon's curse is fundamentally the story of a man who has lived too long, seen too much, but a man one who still thirsts for knowledge and to escape the bounds of reality. Secrets behind multiple layers of reality are known to him, and he can wipe out entire planes of life with a single spell. Even the gods and overgods of these planes are usually insects to him.
But, the issue here. Some people are drawn to cosmic, all-powerful, amoral main characters characters for the sake of it. The first two chapters go heavily into the "who, what, when, where, how" of who he is a bit, but they gave no reason for me to really care about him.
In fact, it had the opposite effect. His 'prey' and victims have proven to be much more relatable and grounded characters and I decided by the end of chapter 1 that I absolutely loathed Elridge. Written with a third person perspective, the story could actually be structured to hook the reader in without losing anything by deferring Elridge's sections. The character became much more interesting to me once the story left the realm of abstract multiversal spellcraft and started focusing on more grounded planes of existence.
If you feel the same about Elridge as I do after opening the story, read on - because the author has done some really cool stuff here.
Story: The strongest point of this piece. Once you get past the clunky exposition of the first two chapters - you find that the author has ac
zecondRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Pretty good so far, the one star rating it got before me was probaly due to bad formating it had on the first few days. The only weaknes i would give the story is that its dragging it feet a bit at some places, could trim those down for a more streamlined experiance but it is good enough as it is.
HaidRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
There’s a lot of things that Apollyon’s Curse gets right - the grand scale of what it means to be a multidimensional world-devouring entity, how life can be perceived from the eyes of such a being, and how insignificant most mortal troubles are when you are not practically bound by the shackles of time. However, these types of stories are also prone to opening themselves up to narrative problems execution-wise, and Apollyon’s Curse suffers a fair amount from this in the prologue chapters.
Style score: To get the bad out of the way, the style is bogged down by the way exposition is handled in the prologue chapters. Because the story is so grand and difficult to comprehend, lots of sentences and paragraphs are solely devoted to help the reader understand what is going on, and I’d say this is especially egregious in the first chapter. The narrative style is definitely off-putting as well initially, where I wasn’t sure if it was third-person omniscient or the main character was just thinking by himself for really, really, really long periods of time, and it wasn’t until chapter five that I got my concrete answer. The pacing in the prologue chapters suffers because of the heavy exposition, and I think it would be difficult even for veteran readers to get through it while remembering every bit of information thrown their way.
However, what is written is good prose. Fantastic prose, actually. While the third-person omniscient narrative style feels ethereal and ‘detached’ from the actual story, this combined with the wording choices and the general premise is also, in a way, informing readers on the tone of the story. The main character is a multidimensional world-devouring entity. Did you really expect anything less than reading the story through the lens of someone who’s done it all, seen it all, and only vaguely resembles a human at his current point in life? Even more intriguing is how the author has matched the narrative style with the events taking place in the prolog