Another End

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

At first, earth was a planet blessed with an overabundance of mana and sentient species, all connected to an interplanetary world system. That is until a drunk Goddess of Birth, Origin, and Beginnings, Ardvite, showed up. In her drunken haze she created a race that absorbed mana to evolve themselves at an incredible rate – Humans, after which she promptly passed out drunk and took at 12,000 year nap.

Without mana to support them, 90% of all life on earth was extinguished and almost all traces of their civilizations crumbled into dust over time. Now in the modern era, Ardvite wakes up and tries to get rid of her hangover while fixing her mistake without alerting the other gods, who would furiously mock her for ending something.

After getting humans to drop mana filled bombs on each other, both restoring diversity and mana to the planet while also culling the human population. Mana mutates the earth’s inhabitants, changing the race of some, granting some magic or mana induced powers, or for the most part just violently killing them.

Now a boy who was turned into one of the only 5 legendary beast kin, the kitsune, decides to set out to get to the homeland that he always dreamed of returning to in his small town in rural Washington.

This is my first attempt at writing a story, so I would greatly appreciate any comments, question, concerns, or feedback on my writing. Thanks, and (hopefully) enjoy the read.

The cover image is actually a scene from x-men apocalypse and I claim no rights or ownership of it, all of that goes to its original creator.

Chapters(16 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(1)

  • Nicole FowlerRoyal Road
    0.5
    To start with the positives here, I was intrigued by the general premise of the story, and the grammar in terms of spelling and punctuation is all technically correct. However, I did notice there was an issue with repetition in certain places - the “lush green” of Aurora, with mountains in the distance, is repeated at the end of Chapter 1 and the beginning of Chapter 2 - essentially the same paragraph twice. This isn’t too much of an issue, it can just be changed with some word replacements.
    About the style of writing, it seems very matter-of-fact with its descriptions of events - things seem to just happen one after the other, more like a sequence than a story. It’s hard to describe, but it makes the story progress very quickly - longer chapters might help cut down on how rapid-fire everything seems, but really what needs to happen is that this should be slowed down. With more details about the environment and situation, the story can be fleshed out much more - many things are glossed over in the story, such as the actual challenges that the people of Aurora face, not just a statement that they have challenges.
    I would have also liked to see more of Logan, the main character. Although it’s mentioned that he has experience in leadership - there could be a moment where he shows this, rather than it being mentioned as a statement. It feels like there’s no substance to the character.
    (Time of publishing: Chapters 1-3)