All my stats are ZERO and my first mission, IS TO KILL GOD!?

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2022

Author

Kyriel Madar

• Chapter 7 Other world celebrations.
  May 8, 2022
• chapter 6 A normal day part 3
  May 3, 2022
• chapter 5 A normal day part 2
  Apr 25, 2022
• chapter 4 A normal day part 1
  Apr 22, 2022
• chapter 3- Will
  Apr 17, 2022
• chapter 2- The road to success is in my hands.
  Apr 15, 2022
• Chapter 1 part 2- All my stats are zero
  Apr 15, 2022
• Chapter 1 All my stats are zero
  Apr 14, 2022
• Prologue-The awakening of a new life
  Apr 14, 2022

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• clovenRoyal Road

  ★ 1.0

  Style: The writing was very confusing from the start. I found myself not understanding quite a lot of sentences because the previous sentence does not match up with the next one. I understand the author is trying to start things off mysteriously and secretively but leaving out some important details made things quite hard to follow and get into. For example, what did the character look like? I couldn't envision anything. Even a shadow would be enough. You should have said something like, "I tried to look at my arm but all that was there was a murky shadow of an outline."
  I'm sure you have heard the saying, "Show don't tell." While the actual rule is to not overcrowd, you should do some showing. Instead of writing, "I panic and start to get upset." How about writing, "I jolted, turning around, looking in every direction to find something sneaking up on me."
  And while we are on that topic, it seems to me like you are trying to write in present tense but style your sentences in past tense. Let's look at that same sentence, "I panic and start to get upset." In present tense, this would be, "What is happening, will I be alright? Am I dead? What happened to me?"
  Here's another one, 'I am unable to tell if I am in motion or if I am static." This should be worded as, "What is happening to me? If I focus on it, I am falling at the speed of light, but I can also be as cold as ice."
  Grammar: A lot of your sentences are weirdly worded. So I found myself going back and re-reading sentences multiple times. I didn't even get the point of some sentences.
  You have quite a lot of run-on sentences. Only experienced readers who can tell where to take a break could actually read your story.
  Take a look at this: "When they reached the entrance of their house, they went out and what could be seen on the other side of the door frame was a well-kept garden, it was at least 15 meters long and 6 meters wide, in it there were small bushes, flowers and several trees with round and large leaves,