A True ”Hero”

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

This was my original idea.

person has video game character revivey powers and becomes a villain instead of a hero then adopts kids who are “chosen ones” sent to defeat him.

I've fleshed it out more, but this is the first thing I’ve written so it probably won’t be very good.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2023
Author
The Kobold Kongregation

Tags

LITRPGACTIONFANTASYADVENTUREANTI-HERO LEADGAMELITMALE LEADPORTAL FANTASY / ISEKAIHIGH FANTASY

Royal Road Stats

Rating
2.0/ 5.0
Followers
3
Views
435

Chapters(2 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(1)

  • Midnight phantom GODRoyal Road
    ★★ 2.0
    Hey there! So, after giving it a good look, here's what I think about the content. Overall, it's a pretty cool idea, but there's definitely some room for improvement when it comes to the writing skills. Right now, the chapters mostly consist of these status windows, which could use a bit more description. Seriously, we need some more juicy details to really bring those landscapes and other elements to life.
    Another thing I noticed is that there's not much variety in the content. It's all about the main character following instructions from the system, and that's it. We don't really get to know much about the MC, which makes the novel feel a bit shallow. Adding more depth to the story, like developing the character and introducing some subplots, would definitely give it more substance and keep readers hooked.
    Oh, and let's talk about those bold sentences that are causing some confusion. They're like speed bumps in the reading experience, making it a bit hard to read. So, it would be great if the author could simplify those sentences and make them flow more smoothly.
    In a nutshell, there's potential here, but some tweaks are needed. Sharpening those writing skills, painting a clearer picture with descriptions, adding more variety to the content, and smoothing out those bold sentences will take this novel to the next level. So, my friendly advice to the author is to consider these suggestions and work on making those improvements. You got this!