A Lonely Spiral

Information

Status

Cancelled

Year

2022

Author

Jarex

• 20 - Smells like wet dog
  May 3, 2022
• 19 - Who we lost
  Apr 29, 2022
• 18 - And then there were two
  Apr 28, 2022
• 17 - Running water
  Apr 27, 2022
• 16 - Blind vigil
  Apr 26, 2022
• 15 - Hole in the ground
  Apr 22, 2022
• 14 - Regent's Rest
  Apr 21, 2022
• 13 - Thoughts on drowning
  Apr 20, 2022
• 12 - What lies beyond the shallow bog
  Apr 19, 2022
• 11 - Clean grind
  Apr 16, 2022
• 10 - Drowned Chapel
  Apr 15, 2022
• 9 - Sticky Sticky Spider
  Apr 14, 2022
• 8 - To eat a soul
  Apr 13, 2022
• 7 - Temple
  Apr 12, 2022
• 6 - Road
  Apr 8, 2022
• 5 - And the lights go out
  Apr 7, 2022
• 4 - Death, Guilt, Karma
  Apr 5, 2022
• 3 - A string of mild crises
  Apr 5, 2022
• 2 - Steps
  Apr 5, 2022
• 1 - Awaken
  Apr 5, 2022

Reviews

Community Reviews(7)

• BewareTheChainRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I won't lie, I didn't know at all what to expect when I started this.  My confusion only worsened when the book opened with the protagonist choking on a toad that spoke in olde English.
  Confused but intrigued.
  The best thing I find about this story is just how visceral it is.  Even in pitch darkness, you can feel every step, hear every creak and feel every breath taken by our protagonist, whom appears to be straddling the less-lively end of undeath by my estimation.
  A slow burn to be sure, but a good one.  I have followed and plan to read more in the future.
• Banner CaygeonRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Let's get the technical things out of the way first.
  Grammar: Perfect, I think. I don't know...I'm sweating, I can't see straight. Yes. It's perfect.
  Story: The MC Rye, just sort of wakes up in this dark scary place, a frog is in her throat and then she goes on to do all sorts of weird things. She's progressing, and it's apparent, but the whole thing is confusing in the best possible way.
  Character: I deducted half a star here, from an otherwise exceptional review, just because I'd like to know a little bit more about Rye. Perhaps it will be revealed further than I've read thus far, but I think just a bit more meat on the bone (pun intended) might work for her.
  Style: 10 stars out of 5 for this. This is where the story shines. The author plays the reader like a fine instrument. The first chapter is a tour de force and example of how to use words to invoke emotion, regardless of the words themselves. After reading you're nervous, confused, anxious and that's all because of the excellent writing style.
  From there, there's so much dry humour as well. "Me-sized arrows" "Many Last words" the whole thing just drips cool and funny vibes.
  Also, not to be overlooked is the exceptional talent of the author to write sounds...I didn't copy a specific example, but they are everywhere. Everything written to denote the sound something makes is SO good. Like the second hack you might make after an unsuccessful first attempt to dislodge a frog from your throat. Huuuuurck, I think it was. (Okay so I do have an example)
  Summary: SO good, but maybe don't read before bed. Your heart rate will spike.
• Gen0meRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  A Lonely Spiral is a fun first person story about a character who wakes up in a world without light. This character struggles to remember anything about who they are and why they're in this nightmare world of darkness.
  The writing is well done and punchy. The story moves along at a quick pace that kept me interested. I'd recommend this story to anyone looking for a scary mysterious world to explore. Even more so if you want to laugh a bit along the way.
  Style:
  I went into this expecting something very dark, literally and figuratively. I was pleasantly surprised to discover YJarex lights up this dark world with a very humorous writing style. It's not often that the writer's style is my favorite part of a story but in this case the comedic writing style stole the show for me. I found myself enjoying it quite a bit.
  Grammar:
  No glaring issues. Read well to me. I'm sure as with almost every story on RR a professional editor could smooth it out but I felt the grammar was solid.
  Story:
  The story seems to be pulled along by the mystery of what's waiting in the darkness and a sense of adventure. This is a review after Chapter Five so the story is obviously still being established, especially in a more slow burn mystery world like this.
  The story has a ton of promise and I am curious to know more about the history of this dark world.
  Character:
  It can be tough to judge a character after only five chapters and definitely more so when the character has a sort of amnesia. While I don't truly know a ton about the character just yet I'm sure as chapters go on more will be revealed as the amnesia lifts away.
  The writing is great and I can't help but laugh at the endless misfortune YJarex throws at the main character.
• IanFlatRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Starting stories with a character waking up is widely considered a terrible cliché, and at first I thought this story fell afoul of that. Except waking up with a talking toad in your throat? That's more Kafka than cliché. Pulled me right in.
  (Unlike the first italicized paragraphs, which I only skimmed; I'm not interested in reading about the story I'm about to read. I just want to read the story!)
  I really enjoyed the toad's manner of speech. Such a courtly amphibian.
  I'm not sure the overall lightness of tone matches the terror of the experience. I wonder if it'd be better to introduce the humor/lightness a little more slowly, after Rye gets oriented a little. I can imagine it's a defense mechanism, but I'm not sure I buy it when the character is choking to death.
  Like: "There was no light, not dim nor bright, not here nor there nor anywhere at all." It's interesting and weird that Rye shifts into Dr. Seuss-like rhymes when terrified, and if the author keeps that up I can see it paying off later, but at this point I think it detracts from the reader's ability to share her fear. It puts distance between the reader and the character and I'm not sure it's worth it in the first chapter.
  Backing up … how does the Rye know it's a frog/toad in her throat? This is a style thing, but virtually all novels sold in traditional publishing, at least, hew to a fairly limited POV. That is, the writer can't say anything the character doesn't know/feel at that time. People sometimes cheat with, "What I didn't know then was …" if writing in past tense, as if the story is being told later, but even that weakens immersion, I think.
  I suspect that waking up in darkness and fear, suffocating, with some unknown _someone_ talking nonsense to you might be more effective than knowing it's a toad. And holding off on telling the reader would make a nice reveal when Rye finally coughs it out and … it's a talking toad. Holy crap!
  'A slimy residue I can smell' nice. Always good to engage another
• BreezeusRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Needless to say, the grammar is impeccable. I can tell you spent plenty of time editing, as it may as well be professionally written. The amount of detail in aspect of the descriptions is amazing.
  As for the style, I like how you have incorperated comedy into what would otherwise be a hopelessly depressing tale. It gives insight into how the character percieves things, and almost uses humor as a way to cope with the dreadful situations she finds herself in.
  As for the character herself, Rye, the story is so evidently from her perspective in that we hear every minute thought or observation that she has. Her reactions to the obstacles or just strange things that she encounters are very human, and understandable. She is exposed to an extreme level of discomfort and deprivation, but still manages to keep her mind, which ties back to the use of humor.
  My only slight problem with the fiction is that with all the attention payed to every individual aspect of Rye's experiences, the story can move a bit slowly for my liking. It isn't too much ofan issue though, as it serves to show her journey as she is exploring the 'nightmare-scape."
• 1212BRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  "A Lonely Spiral" starts off with our character rising from her grave. She doesn't know who she is, where she is, or what she is. All she knows is that all her clothes are rotted, the world has been plunged in darkness, and there's a toad in her throat, asking her to give him her soul.
  Yep.
  This story takes part in a dark-souls-esque fever dream and we're along for the ride as it batters our main character. In body and in mind.
  Grammar & Style:
  We spend a lot of time in our character's head and the style reflects that. Not that theres much to describe of the outside world, seeing as everything is literally plunged in darkness.
  So we're right there when our main character gets desperate, lonely, and spirals into self hatred and misery. Fun.
  Yeah, I don't have anything bad to say about the style. You could probably do it better, but I for one have no idea how. It does what it does well -- by which I mean letting us feel the main character's emotions and thoughts. And that's what the psychological apsect of this story depends on most of all.
  In terms of grammar and typos, I found a harndfull that didn't seem intentional, mostly just typos.
  Nothing to rate a story poorly for.
  Character & Story:
  There is not that much story to speak of. The main reason to read is the exploration of the world and the psychological duress our main character goes through.
  I feel the story is a bit slower than it needs to be for that though.
  There are some chapters that didn't seem essential. Not a big deal when binging, but it would have definitly irked me had I followed the initial release chapter by chapter.
  The story gets going when she meets other people and starts exploring the swampland, we have a clear goal and she's no longer just alone and trapped within her own head and thoughts.
  Not that I thought her internal struggle was badly done. In fact I think it was done quite remarkably. I could truly feel how lost and alone she felt. Not understanding the world around her and transformi
• TealiciousTeaRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  I recommend it!
  If the writing quality was based on the prologue this rating would be a four and half star if not a five star. By my standards. The concept is well excuted, perhaps a bit too close to the light novel style for my tastes. But that is the intention and it works. There are a few grammar errors I pointed out a major one but overall it is easy to read. The author has already shown there improvement so no need to go into that.
  Overall, the cahracters and setting are nicely done. I kind of wished it had been rewritten from the ground up but that is an immense task. Hope you are haivng a nice day!