47 Years

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2022

Author

Aniket-111

• 47 Years
  Jan 9, 2022

Reviews

Community Reviews(6)

• BullerRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I can't say that short short-stories is something I read often. And, even then, it's still normally shorts that are 20-50 pages. This? This isn't even half the minimum. But I still enjoyed it immensely. The great thing about shorts is that you have to convey a lot of plot in a very short amount of time. This story does that well, setting up a good personality while also showing a pretty sad tale. Some of the more emotionable people might even shed a tear.
  Good stuff. 5/5
• Inkwell RabbitRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  I caught this short story from the forums posted by the author. On a whim, I decided to check it out. I like short stories, they take little investment and you usually get rewarded for the chance you give them. I've written two myself and I'm working on a third, so I have a bit of experience.
  The start of this story is pretty sluggish, as you go through every second of Roberto's life. He took a steam bath, grabbed the keys, when down the elvator to his parking garage, ect, ect.
  I feel author could have spent less time with Roberto's daily routine and more time developing the characters of his little family, as this should be the meat of the story.
  As it is, they are not. They make up very little of this story to the point when the twist comes at you, its implied to care about them, but you end up not caring for them at all.
  The twist comes fast, but is well described. I won't spoil the ending, as the short story's title plays a bit of trickery on you.
  The grammar is a bit wonky and the final two parapgraphs changes percepective, leaving with a bad taste in your mouth, as you are no longer in Roberto's thoughts when you need to be the most.
  Despite the wonky grammar and weak written ending, its a tight little story. As I suggested in my review's title, I think this story would benefit from a rewrite where the focus is put more on the family and their relationship and importance to Roberto for the encding to have a bigger punch in the gut. How it is at the moment, its a fair story. Worthy of a read.
• RznRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  This is an interesting set up and premise, though the story does get a bit confusing and then the ending hits pretty hard. It is good, but at the same time it felt more like an exercise in writing a certain quirk or twist and did not go into really leaning into the setting prior to the reveal. It was good.
• nerdy_asian27Royal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  I found this story over the forums and decided to give it a read.
  Firstly, the story itself is fine.  The premise is simplistic yet impactful if done correctly.
  My biggest complaint is definitely the grammar.  I don't often get too hung up over it, but in this case, there were a great deal of grammatical errors that really threw off my immersion (especially the out of nowhere POV shift near the end).
  Speaking of the end, it was fine, but with more polishing, it could definitely have the potential to become way more impactful (sorry if this is a bit spoilery).
  Overall, a good premise and story, just needs some touching up in many areas.
• The God Of BoredomRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  Because why not?
  The thing that really bugs me here is the grammar. Personally, I think that the plot and story are fine, but the grammar really breaks my immersion. I get that the purpose of the story is to trigger some kind of reaction, but the thing is, I didn't really feel anything. The ending was kind of weak, and that's okay, but the beginning was, to put it bluntly, uninteresting and easy to skim. I get that it's probably supposed to highlight just how nice the main character's life was, but I nearly skimmed the entire thing because of it.
  Overall, I think that it has a lot of room for improvement and could do well with a rewrite. 3/5.
• MrNobodyisHome (E. Anderson)Royal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  It is a great premise. Following this author for a while, I can attest that they show promise and improvement.
  It is a casual read with maybe some stale and odd descriptions that may confound you for a moment, but I say once you look past it, you'll find charm in this short story.
  Unfortunately, the premise itself is promising, but the execution slows down its momentum for greatness. The grammar is fine and the use of the right words in the right places. It has been proofread for grammatical errors, I believe, but everything else was probably ignored.
  The style is what needs work.
  If the author could just hone his characterization skills, as characters are the biggest problem, and get a little more creativity with stringing together sentences and work on better details with their descriptions. This could be something great.
  Short stories tend to be overlooked, but there are those short stories that rival even the longest of epic tales. Am I saying that this could be one of them? This could have the potential for that.
  All I'm saying is, have a read, and maybe return to see how the final product will look after the author polishes it.